Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA" Spoof - "Born In Darunia" - by P. Ehland

NOTE: This parody of sorts is a combination of one of my favorite songs by one of the best rock artists in the last 25 years, The Boss. It's the life of Damon Owen from Juliet's excellent book series about the Legend of Zelda. Ironically, I thought of this while completely inebriated. Hope you like it.

Born down in a mining town
Started archery when I was young
End up like a guy that's ready for all
Cause you spend half your life just to prep for it up

Born in Darunia
I was born in Darunia
I was born in Darunia
Born in Darunia

Got into a small military jam
So they took the arrow from my hand
Send me back to my home, met a man
Help him fix what's was wrong

Born in Darunia
I was born in Darunia
I was born in Darunia
Born in Darunia

Met Joy Trubial, settled down
She was taken far too early from me
Thought about endin' it all
Friend said, "Man, doncha understand?"

We battled a beast named Kain, fightin' off that Griffin thang
We're still here, he's all gone.

Dion's got a picture of where the Triforce is
I got that picture here in my arms
Down by the shadows of Kuria
Searchin' all over with a torch's light
Found some scrolls, and some shards
Few months later, stopped a cult
Had to show them, "don't mess with us"

Born in Darunia
I was born in Darunia
Born in the Darunia
I'm a damn good archer in Darunia.
Born in Darunia
Born Darunia
Born in Darunia
I'm a cool rocking Daddy in Darunia.

Blind Guardian's "Lord Of The Rings" song spoof: Lord of the Triforce - by Luke Wholey

Link:There are signs on the force
Which make me feel so down
There's one to enslave all forces
To find them all in time
And drive them into darkness
Forever they'll be bound
Three for the kings
Of the Sheikah high in might
Nine to the Hylians,
Which cry

I'll keep the force full of sorrow
I'll keep the force till I die
I'll keep the force full of sorrow
I'll keep the force till I die

Chorus:
Slow down and I sail on the river
Slow down and I walk to the hill (2x)

And there's no way out now

(Haunting medieval music)

Hyrule, Hyrule, Hyrule

Dark world under Ganon's spell
Threatened a long time
Threatened a long time

Seven rings to the Gorons
In their halls made of stone
Into the valley
Into the valley
I feel down
One Force to the dark pig's hand
Sitting on his throne
In a world so dark
Where I have to go

I'll keep the force... (5x)
Till I...
Chorus (2x)
(I'll Keep the Force)
Chorus (2x)

Lord of The Triforce

Tatu's "All the Things She Said" Spoof: "All the Cows are Gone" - by Miranda Shadowind

THE SCENE: Romani Ranch, Day 2

Cremia:
All the cows are gone
All the cows are gone
And it's all my fault
And it's all my fault

Link:
No it's all my fault
All the cows are gone
All the cows are gone
And it's all my fault
Yes it's all my fault
All the cows are gone
All the cows are gone
Wasn't fast enough...

[Flashback: Morning of Day 1]

Romani:
Take me seriously, or our herd will be lost
I really need your help, Grasshopper, because
Tonight They'll come, and take all our cows
My sister won't believe, so it's up to us now

[Flashforward to that night. Link attempts to defend the barn from alien ghosts with his Bow, to no avail. During his third line, the cows and Romani are abducted.]

Link: (Voice Over)
Tried to do it myself; she'd told me how
I shot arrows at them but could not keep them out
They took the cows away, along with Romani
Couldn't save her, I feel so guilty
(Couldn't save her, I feel so guilty)

[End Flashback]

Link and Cremia:
All the cows are gone
All the cows are gone
And it's all my fault
And it's all my fault
This is all my fault
All the cows are gone
All the cows are gone
And it's all my fault
And it's all my fault
All the cows are gone
All the cows are gone

Link:
Arrows weren't enough...
Wasn't fast enough...

Link and Cremia:
All the cows are gone (x7)

Link:
Been trying so hard to restore this strange place
But They kept on coming, just wouldn't go away

Cremia:
I'll just stand here all day, in the barn in the rain
Let it fall on my face, wash away all the shame
Never expected calamity...
Should have listened to her when she tried to warn me

Link:
I can try to pretend, I can try to forget
No I'd better go back in time and try again

Link and Cremia:
All the cows are gone
All the cows are gone
And it's all my fault
And it's all my fault
This is all my fault
All the cows are gone
All the cows are gone
And it's all my fault
And it's all my fault
All the cows are gone

Link:
I was not enough
I was not enough

All the cows are gone (x11)

[Flashforward to Day 3, where a lobotomized Romani has returned.]

Romani:
Sister looking at me
What has happened to me?
Have I lost my mind?

Young boy looking at me
Why do you training seek?
Can't remember why...

Link, Cremia, (Romani):
All the cows are gone
All the cows are gone
And so is her (my) mind
And so is her (my) mind
And so is her (my) mind
All the cows are gone
All the cows are gone
And so is her (my) mind
And so is her (my) mind
All the cows are gone
All the cows are gone

Link:
I was not enough
I was not enough

(Fading)

Cremia:
All the cows are gone (x6)

Britney and Madoona's "Me Against The Music" Spoof: "Me Against The Hero" - by Juliet A. Singleton

(Ganon)
All you monsters in the crowd
Grab a weapon, take Link down

It's me against the hero
Uh uh
It's me
And me
Yeah
C'mon
Hey monsters
Are you ready?
Uh uh, are you?

It's time my foes
Get ready you moblins, come on goriyas
Draw your swords
Stand to attention darknuts and stalfos
Take your shields
It's time we put Link back in his place
Tonight we're here
Listen to my orders, don't you dare disobey

I'm up against the hero, tryin' to take back the Triforce
It's an evil competition, me against Link
I wanna get the Triforce I wanna get the Triforce
If you really wanna battle, armour up and get your sword
Tryin' to hit me, you could die
In a minute I'm a take a you on, I'm a take a you on
Hey, hey, hey

[CHORUS]

All my monsters on the floor
Let me see you fight (Let me see ya)
All my minions in the jar
Let me see you fight (I wanna see ya)
All my villains in the crowd
Let me see you fight (Let me see ya)
Grab a weapon take Link down
Let me see you fight (I wanna see ya)

So how would you like an evil competition
Let's take on the hero (Let's take on the hero)
Let's take on the hero
It's you and me monsters, we're the foes
Take the Triforce once and for all (Once and for all)
Once and for all

Let's go Wizzrobes
My minions are bad and they won't refrain
Get ready gibdos
My monsters are movin' at a rapid pace
Can you feel it burn
The almighty evil, runnin' through your veins
And nows your turn
Let me see what you got, don't hesitate

I'm up against the hero, tryin' to take back the Triforce
It's an evil competition, me against Link
I wanna get the Triforce I wanna get the Triforce
If you really wanna battle, armour up and get your sword
Tryin' to hit me, you could die
In a minute I'm a take a you on, I'm a take a you on
Hey, hey, hey

All my monsters on the floor
Let me see you fight (Let me see ya)
All my minions in the jar
Let me see you fight (I wanna see ya)
All my villains in the crowd
Let me see you fight (Let me see ya)
Grab a weapon take Link down
Let me see you fight (I wanna see ya)

Get your swords, monsters get control
Just fight the hero, don't let him go
If you wanna battle, just grab a weapon
Hey monsters
Take the Triforce once and for all

(Link)
Hey Ganon, you say you want the Triforce
Come over here I got somethin' to show ya
Evil wizard, I'd rather see you lose of course
If you think you're so hot, better show me what you got
All you monsters in the crowd, let me see you fight
C'mon Ganon get control, can you take me down

(Ganon)
Get your swords, monsters get control
Just fight the hero, don't let him go
If you wanna battle, just grab a weapon
Hey monsters
Take the Triforce once and for all

All my monsters on the floor
Let me see you fight (Let me see ya)
All my minions in the jar
Let me see you fight (I wanna see ya)
All my villains in the crowd
Let me see you fight (Let me see ya)
Grab a weapon take Link down
Let me see you fight (I wanna see ya)

(Link)
All you monsters in the crowd, let me see you fight
C'mon Ganon take me down, get the Triforce back
All you minions in the jar, fight me all night long
C'mon Ganon get control, can you take me down

---

"Frea Jaques" Spoof - "Are You Slaying" - - by Hero

Note: I read a lot of these Zelda song spoofs and I decided to make one of my own. For those of you evil-doer fans out there, like myself, do not get offended, or curse me, either.

Are you slaying,
are you slaying,
Ganondorf,
With Trifore?
Sealed by the Sages,
Ganondorf, he rages,
Link has won,
Link has won.

---

Don Mclean "American Pie" Spoof : "Hyrulian Pie" - by RPGQueen

NB:In the chorus, you have got to sing "domain" like dumain, ok?

Long, long time ago,
I can still remember,
How the music used to make me warp,

And I knew if I had my sword,
I could make those sages, free again,
And maybe they'll be happy for a while,

Did you write the book of Mudora?
Do you have faith in Din above?
If your faery tells you so,

Now do you believe in beating Ganon?
And did the ocarina save your mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to Goron roll real hard?

And I know that I am killing him,
And I saw Zelda watching me,
We Both kicked off the fight,

And I did real hate you,
I was a lonely teenage warrior
With a crazy Zora and a princess's love,

And I thought that I was out of hope,
The day the Deku died,
I started playing

Bye Bye Hyrulian Pie
Took a Zora to the domain but the domain was ice,
And the good old sages drinking poes and fries,
Singing this will be the day that I'll seal,
This will be the day that I'll seal,

I met a girl with green green hair,
And she gave me an ocarina
Then she just smiled and turned away

Then I went down to the Sacred Realm,
Where I heard ocarina play,
But Rauru said the music wouldn't play,

And now in the field the Stalchilds scream,
And the moblins charge and the beamos beam
And not a word was spoken
But the giants knife was broken,

It's the fencing that I admire the most,
With Farore, Din and Naryru's post
and they caught the last flight to the realm,

The day the Deku died,
I started playing

Bye Bye Hyrulian Pie
Took a Zora to the domain but the domain was ice,
And the good old sages drinking poes and fries,
Singing this will be the day that I'll seal,
This will be the day that I'll seal

We started playing,
Bye Bye Hyrulian Pie
Took a Zora to the domain but the domain was ice,
And the good old sages drinking poes and fries,
Singing this will be the day that I'll seal,
This will be the day that I'll seal

We started playing,
We started playing,
We started playing,

---

Greenday "American Idiot" Spoof : "Hylian Idiot" - by Sheik

Don't wanna be a Hylian idiot!
Don't want a kingdom under Ganon!
Can you hear the sound of Death Mountain? It's rocking every Fairy Faountain!

Welcome to a new kind of Hyrule,
Where everything is under my rule, where
Everything is not okay!
Pictovision dreams of tomorrow,
We're not the ones you're meant to follow,
But That's enough to argue...

---

Spice Girls "Wannabe" Spoof - by Elizabet

Saria:Ya know I'm aiming for you come back over here forget the other ones here and pick me!
Link: But Saria....

(Chorus)

All girls: So tell us who you want how you really really want. So tell us how you want who you really really want. Wanna yeah wanna yeah yeah. Really want to be the one for you (ah) If you wannabe my guy you gotta realize I'm the only one for you!

Ruto: I did risk my sapphire for you so you better pick me or else I will ban you from Zora's domain!
Link: Ehum....

(Chorus)

All Girls:So tell us who you want who you really really want. So tell us who you want who you really really want wanna yeah yeah. Really want to be the one for you (ah) If you wannabe my guy you gotta realize I'm the only one for you!

Nabooru: If ya want me you could end up as the gerudo king. And I'm the hottest one here and I can defend myself! Apart from that creampuff Zelda!
Zelda: He really wants me admit it! I'm the most powerful sage! You're only sage of spirit!
Nabooru: That's it! Taste my scimitar!
Link: Girls I'm sorry but I'm gay

All girls: WHAT??!!!
Link: I'm married to Rauru!
All girls: Kill him!!

---

"Father Abraham" Spoof: "Father Ganondorf" - by Zelda_girl and Link_fan

*begin the song and repeat after every chorus with this*
Father Ganondorf had many sons
Many sons had Father Ganondorf
I hate all of them and so do you
So let's all beat them up

*First chorus*

Master Sword!
*Second chorus*
Master Sword, Hylian Shield!
*Third chorus*
Master Sword, Hylian Shield, Fairy Bow!
*Fourth chorus*
Master Sword, Hylian Shield, Fairy Bow, Boomerang!
*Fifth chorus*
Master Sword, Hylian Shield, Fairy Bow, Boomerang, Slingshot!
*Sixth chorus*
Master Sword, Hylian Shield, Fairy Bow, Boomerang, Slingshot, Deku nuts!
*Seventh chorus*
Master Sword, Hylian Shield, Fairy Bow, Boomerang, Slingshot, Deku nuts, Deku sticks!
*Eighth chorus*
Master Sword, Hylian Shield, Fairy Bow, Boomerang, Slingshot, Deku nuts, Deku sticks, Din's Fire!
*Ninth chorus*
Master Sword, Hylian Shield, Fairy Bow, Boomerang, Slingshot, Deku nuts, Deku sticks, Din's Fire, Farore's Wind!
*Tenth chorus*
Master Sword, Hylian Shield, Fairy Bow, Boomerang, Slingshot, Deku nuts, Deku sticks, Din's Fire, Farore's Wind, Nayru's Love!
*Eleventh chorus*
Master Sword, Hylian Shield, Fairy Bow, Boomerang, Slingshot, Deku nuts, Deku sticks, Din's Fire, Farore's Wind, Nayru's Love, "Nah nah, Ganondork!
*Twelfth chorus*
Master Sword, Hylian Shield, Fairy Bow, Boomerang, Slingshot, Deku nuts, Deku sticks, Din's Fire, Farore's Wind, Nayru's Love, "Nah nah, Ganondork! Ah, he's coming! Run Away!!!"

---

“What’s Goin’ Down?” Spoof: “The Evil King is Goin’ Down” - by Green Hat

Note: This is a Christian song and I hope God doesn’t mind me changing it to a Zelda song. (I am Catholic.) If you ever heard of this song then I am sorry some of it doesn’t rhyme! The sixth last part is weird, so try to follow the instructions that are in brackets.I trust that it makes sense…sing on!

(Music playing)

Stop whose that everybody? 2x

 

Who’s goin’ down? 4x

Verse 1

 

Welcome to the forest of a boy named Link
who had only one reason to be rejected by Kokiri

Raised by a tree outside of Hyrule

Were they hated on him ‘cause he didn’t have a fairy

But seven years later Link was the lands Hero

Hero Link went and got himself a time ride

Earned his acceptance on the battle-field

And that is something Hylian Hyrule would never ignore.

 

        Chorus     (Whisper)

 

Stop hey, what’s that sound?
Look its Ganondorf goin’ down!

Stop hey, what’s that sound?
EVERYBODY LOOK HE’S GOIN’ DOWN!        

Who’s goin’ down tell me who’s goin’ down?

The Evil King is goin’ down!

Who’s goin’ down tell me who’s goin’ down?

The Evil King is goin’ down!

Take a look around

Ganon’s comin’ down

Do you hear the swingin’ sounds?

Of him fallen

Sages on the go

Link, I’m tellin’ what I know

Yeah I say I want to know

But I got my suspicions

 

Verse 2

 

Welcome to the castle of a girl named Zelda

Zelda’s only crisis she was she was born a Princess

Emotionally scarred by her Sheikah disguise

Talking herself into thinking she’s a guy

But Zelda couldn’t shake off the memories

Forced to make her own History

A harp player for the rest of her days

Three stones, three Triforces, no hero till the seventh year

 

Back to Chorus 

 

Who be goin’ diggy down (say this one 3x. say something happening 2x the rest of the repeats, all together 3x throught.)

When you find time you lost

But you lose the Hero you found!

(Whisper)

 

Stop hey, what’s that sound?

Everybody look he’s goin’ down.

 

Who’s goin’ down tell me who’s goin’ down?

The Evil King is goin’ down!

Who’s goin’ down tell me who’s goin’ down?

The Evil King is goin’ down!

 

Stop hey, what’s that sound?

The Evil King is goin’ down!

Stop hey, what’s that sound?

The Evil King is goin’ down!

 

Everybody look he’s goin’ down!

Die hey, die hey!

 

(Faster)

 

DIE HEY, DIE HEY! 2x DIE!

 

---

"Queen's We Will Rock You" Spoof: "I Will Defeat You!" - by PieMan

Sung by Link:

Ganon you're a Gurudo making a big move,
Trying to trick the king in being yo' ally some day,
You got hate on yo' face
You big disgrace
Flinging you dark magic all over the place

I will, I will defeat you!
Ganon, Ganon, prepare to lose!

Ganon you're a evil man dark man
Turning Hyrule into your dark playground ta day,
You got hate on yo' face
You big disgrace
Flinging you dark magic all over the place

I will, I will defeat you!
Ganon, Ganon, prepare to lose!

Ganon you're an weak man poor man
Pleadin' with Zelda to let you live ta day,

You got hate on yo' face
You big disgrace
Flinging you dark magic all over the place

I said, I said, "I'll defeat you!"
Ganon, Ganon, prepare to lose!

(out of song) Oh, and have fun in the dark realm!

---

"Kryptonite" Spoof: "Master Sword" - by Edward Plantagenet

I took a walk around Hyrule to see what I could find
I left my body lying inside the Temple of Time
But I watched the world darken under Ganondorf's rule
I feel there's something I should do, yeah

I watched the world darken under Ganondorf's rule
It wouldn't be like this, princess, if we still had you
I really don't mind fighting monsters now and then
As long as we seal him away in the end

(Chorus)
If I go crazy then will you still call me the Hero of Time
If I'm alive and well, Zelda, will you be mine
I'll help you and the sages defeat Ganondorf with the
Master Sword

You call me strong, he calls me weak
The Triforce of Courage I shall keep
Have you forgotten all the times that we've met before
You call for me when there's trouble
Time travel makes it double
I will protect this land forever more

Chorus x3

Oh, whoa, whoa
Oh, whoa, whoa
Oh, whoa, whoa

---

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