Zelda 'Top 10' Lists

Ten Signs You're Being Corrupted By the Triforce of Power - by Cade

1. You dye your hair red, demand to be called Ganon, take to wearing black and grinning in an EVIL way.
2. The sight of blonde kids wearing green drives you mad with rage.
3. You greet every red haired woman you meet with, "Hail my Gerudo sister!"
4. You scream at trees, rocks and fish about the Kokiri, Goron and Zora Spiritual Stones.
5. When given a chore you snarl and say "My moblins will take care of it."
6. You've declared your room is the Sacred Realm and take to beating the Hell out of any one that comes in. (you know they're after your Triforce!)
7. Your dream house is a black tower filled with monsters and complete with lava moat.
8. You steal stuff and when caught, you profess it is because of your Gerudo nature.
9. When sent to prison for stealing you scream "Curse you Judge, curse you lawyers! As long as the Trifoce of Power is in my hand..."
10. While in prison you try to recruit the other criminals into your evil army.

Top ten reasons why no people have been able to do anything (or why Link(s) have do everything), by Tze Fai Leung

10. The plothole has twisted up the mind of everybody except Link
9. Impa is an old fart who sometimes forget spells
8. Saria, Malon, Zelda (all Zeldas), Ruto, and Nabooru was busy to be in love with Link(s)
7. Navi/Spryte won't use magic to help Link to zap the enemies; instead, they just talk to Link or hid in pockets.
6. The sages always seem to be lock away by Ganondorf
5. The sages have no sense to teach Link some de-soul magic toward Ganon
4. No body use lasers as a weapon, even though IT EXIST, BY THE TRIFORCE!!
3. Navi/Spryte don't know how to tell Link(s) to pay attention.
2. The sages are chickens when facing Ganondorf and the number 1 reason is..........drum roll please!!!
1. Aallllll people in Hyrule are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay tooooooooooooooooo stupid AND laazzyy!!

Top 10 evil sins of Ganondorf that no one knows about - by Topaz989

10. He juggled puppies in the streets of France
9. Stole Ruto's Furby.
    Ganon's reply: Heh heh, she cried when I flushed it down the toilet.
8. Ran-over Impa at a four-way stop in his new Pokemon Beetle.
7. He listens to the Spice Girls, nuff said.
    Ganon's reply: I like Baby Spice.
6. Forced Link to play the Zelda games from the Philips CDi.
    Ganon's reply: Link should be released from the crazy house anytime, well, as soon as soon as he gains his sanity back.
5. Enslaved 1,000 monkeys to type on 1,000 typewriters.
4. Shaved Zelda's cat.
    Ganon's reply: I renamed it Mr.Bigglesworth.
3. He never washes his hands after using the urinal.
2. Toilet Papered the Great Deku Tree during Halloween and to top it all off, the number one reason why Ganon is such an S.O.B.........
1) He cancelled the old cartoon series because he complained that he was losing too much!

Top Ten Things Link Keeps Under His Hat - by Dinoguy

10. A ponytail, he thinks everyone will laugh at him.
9. Earmuffs since Navi won't shut her pie hole.
8. A picture of Zelda
7. One heck of a bald spot
6. A videotape of him beating the heck out of Mido
5. A gameboy
4. A list of songs he's learned
3. Pre-order for Wii
2. Another hat
1. One embarrassing snapshot of Ruto from that Christmas party! (That was when Zelda happened to be under the mistletoe with Link. She cried like a baby.)

Top Ten Things Link Fears More Than Ganon - by Dinoguy

10. A date with TWO women
9. Navi when she's had too much coffee
8. Godzilla (Link: THAT'S A BIG DODONGO!)
7. Losing his hat
6. Yu-gi-oh's Celtic Guardian (Link: COPYCAT!)
5. The gay carpenter from Gerudo Fortress
4. A humiliating situation between his four "Girlfriends"
3. Ganondorf performing surgery on him
2. Hard rainstorms (Link: I never got over the whole "Flood Incident")
1. Princess Ruto

Top Ten mottos Tingle made himself - by Dinoguy

10. I'm a little teapot, short and stout...
9. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine...
8. (Various chimpanzee noises)
7. Link and Zelda sittin' in a tree! K-I-S-somethin'-somethin'-somethin'-T!
6. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?!
5. Gluteus maximus
4. I'm leaving the clowning business to all the other clowns in the clowning business.
3. Don't eat me! I know the hero of time! EAT HIM!
2. Chumpawumba
1. Oompa Loompa, doopadee-doo...

Top 10 Reasons Link played an Ocarina - by Charles Hoeffken

10: He liked the sound it made.
9: He joined the Temple of Time choir.
8: It annoyed Navi when he played off-key. XDDD
7: Because horses respond better to high pitched sounds.
6: It caused abnormal growth in frogs (which Link thought was cool).
5: Because Nintendo paid him 1 million rupees.
4: Because Hylian chicks dig flute players.
3: He only had to learn a few notes.
2: He wanted to travel through time just to break the Kakariko Village windmill.
And the #1 Reason: There wasn't any more room for his Guitar Hero and Rock Band set.

Top 10 Reasons Ganondorf was so Evil - by Charles Hoeffken

10: He wanted to say all the cool lines.
9: He liked doing the "MuWahahahaha" villian laugh.
8: His mom wouldnt let him take over the neighborhood.
7: Because the Gerundo teased him when he was a kid, and now he has issues.
6: He flunked ethical conduct classes in Gerundo school.
5: Too much Hardcore Hyrule Rock music.
4: Too much violence on Hyrule TV.
3: He thought "Ganonland" was a better name for the kingdom than Hyrule.
2: As a kid he was force-fed all the vegetables on his dinner plate.
And the #1 Reason: Because a Hylian TP-ed his yard and put a flaming bag of dog poop on his front porch and he (Ganondorf) vowed revenge.

Top 10 Reasons Link Rode a Horse - by Charles Hoeffken

10: He tried riding cuccos, but kept on squishing them. (laughs out loud)
9: He tried riding the Owl from Death Mountain, but it kept on taking him to Impa's house.
8: He tried riding Princess Ruto(*ROFL*) but we all know fish cant swim on land.
7: He did a paper route on the side.
6: He delivered Hylian Pizza in 10 minutes or less.
5: Because manly men rode horses.
4: Because it sure beat walking everywhere.
3: He wanted to beat the strange man with the bunny ears in a race.
2: He got a great deal on horse shoes at the Lon Lon Ranch.
And the #1 reason: He save a bunch of rupees on his car insurance.

Top 10 Things Tingle could have said when he first met Link in Majora's Mask. - by Charles Hoeffken

10: Yo elf dude, wazzzzzup!
9: OMGOMGOMG! It's Link! Oh Link, I'm your biggest fan!
8: Oompa-Loompa Doop-a-dee-dah.
7: I couldn't keep my woman cause she couldn't help me with my mind.(lyrics from Paranoid-Black Sabbath)
6: I'm the president of the Link Club of Termina.
5: (sings to YMCA)M-A-P-S. I have some M-A-P-S.
4: First map's free kid.
3: If I only had a brain.(scarecrow from Wizard of Oz)
2: Beam me up Scottie.
And #1: (sings) Wild Thing. You make my heart sing. You make everything.....groovy.(ROFL)

Top 10 Reasons why Link doesn't want to marry Ruto: - by Zeldalover

10: She smells like dead fish
9: She giggles too much
8: her head is shaped weird
7: Link believes she is a secret agent working for Ganondorf
6: She talks too much
5: She's too whiny
4: She tried to destroy the Ocarina if Time because Zelda gave it to him
3: She hates bunnies
2: She picks out the worst birthday presents
& the #1 reason that Link dosen't want to marry Ruto is (drumroll, please, readers!): Zelda is so much hotter

The Top Ten things Link simply tries NOT to think about... - by Coro the Lantern Man

10. Thinking about Ganondorf's obnoxiously huge ears
9. Thinking about what Guru Guru will do if he finds out what Link did to his little Music Box
8. Thinking about what Navi is doing, trapped up there in his green hat after the "Look, Link!" incident the other day
7. Thinking about whether or not his other girlfriends will find out about his 'innocent sleepover' with Malon the other day
6. Thinking about TINGLE TINGLE KOOLOO LIMPAH!!!!!!!!
5. Thinking about the monkey in Faron woods that wasted all his lantern oil
4. Thinking about his many promises to Colin that he never wanted to keep
3. Thinking about his REAL parents (Ganondorf and Nabooru!)
2. Thinking about that hot chick who's obssessed with bugs
1. Thinking about all of his girlfriends at the same time (Saria, Malon, Midna, Zelda, Ilia, Ruto, Tetra, and his only other girlfriends, Orca and Sturgeon)

Top 10 Reasons Medli went back to the Earth Temple - by Komali

1. She saw a video of Komali singing in his underpants.
2. Link went missing in the Earth Temple.
3. She wants to get away from Komali.
4. She got mad at Link.
5. She forgot her Guitar Hero and Rock Band set and her laptop, her portable tv & bed, in the Earth Temple. She hides her things when Link comes to visit (a.k.a you the player) so that she can play HER favorite Rock Band and Guitar Hero songs.
6. She hid a bunch of rupees in the temple somewhere.
7. Komali wants to marry her.
8. She LOVES free places to fly round.
9. She missed Laruto.
& the #10 reason that Medli went back to th Earth Temple is (drumroll, please, readers!): Too many memories.

Top Ten Reasons Navi is So Grumpy and Annoying - by Iansgameroom

1. When she was growing up, Navi's mom made her drink decaf.
2. She is jealous of the Hylians and Link because they get to walk ride horses when all ashe gets to do is flutter around like a wimp.
3. Link broke her coffee pot with his Fairy Slingshot.
4. Link dumped her for Zelda.
5. Link's hat smells but Link still makes Navi go in there.
6. She's scared that she will get hit by shrapnel when ever she has to lock on to a monster that Link is about to throw a bomb at.
7. Her father never loved her. Isn't that sad! (Spongebob parody)
8. She almost always breaks her wings whenever Link decides to do a somersault.
9. She is commonly mistaken for a butterfly.
10. Drumroll, please........and the number 10 reason is.......................Link took an embarrasing snapshot of her at the Christmas Party!!!!!!!

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