You know you've been playing Zelda too much if...

You know you've been playing Zelda too much if....... by Eon

1. When you look in the mirror, you could swear there was a blonde, blue eyed Hylian boy staring back at you.

2. You begin to think your Science teacher is Ganondorf and decide to take a few days off from school to fin the Master Sword and Six Sages' Medallions to defeat him/her with.

3. Your butt has been numb for the past week and a half.

4. You forget all about food, sleep, and school and begin to focus on sharpening your fishing, training your horse, and shooting your fairy bow.

5. You learn that the curency in Djibouti (in Africa) is Rupees while your in the library and start to freak out.

6. Your hands are taking on the shape of your controller.

7. You deem all red heads Gerudo's and try to stun them using a pencil as a Hookshot.

8. Your to do list has down "Find Epona, Save Princess Zelda, Don't forget dinner!"

9. You dive in the ocean when you see a whale and try to go in it's mouth to save Princess Ruto.

10. You keep an eye out for Gold Skulltula.

11. You brag about how you defeated Queen Gohma without getting a scratch.

12. You finally step out of your room and realize your hungry, you smell, your tired and you have no more friends left.

13. You've actually done one or two of the things on this list.

You Know You've Been Playing Too Much Zelda If... By Sylvia

1. When someone uses the pencil sharpener, you go up and use your pen or pencil to try to get a token.

2. When you get in trouble and go to the principal, you yell at him/her, "You can never defeat ME, Ganondorf!"

3. You always wear green and you dyed your hair bleach blonde.

4. You watch a Jerry Springer episode about bigimists, and you laugh, "Look! It's Link! And Zelda, Malon, Ruto, Saria and Nabooru!"

5. You thought your sibling was a Moblin and that's why they are tied up in the basement now with a threat of a sharpened pencil.

6. You demand the Triforce Of Power from that red-headed boy in your grade.

7. You put a glass to your eye and try to walk through walls thinking, "The Lens Of Truth knows the way!"

8. You talk to your rock collection asking about the Goron's Ruby and Durania.

9. You talk to your goldfish asking about the Zora's Sapphire and Ruto.

10. You go to Seaworld and ask to swim in the whale's tank to find Ruto.

You Know You've Been Playing Too Much Zelda If... By Tahoi

  1. You get a guineapig and name it Shiek etc. etc. etc. [I thought the name was cute!]
  2. You've gone through a hundred or more controllers and Z64 games.
  3. You spend all of your time (when your not playing Z64) online finding out were you can buy the Ocarina of Time.
  4. When you finally finish playing Zelda and come out of your room all your firends have died of old age and you've been nicknamed rip van winkle.
  5. You're typing a you know you've been playing to much zelda list trying to think of all the Zelda related things you've done.
  6. You wish you live in Hyrule you eventually dye your hair [if it's not already blond] have your ears surgically altered and eventually get locked up in a padded walled room. and you scream "if you do not let me go Ganon will kill you all.
  7. When you find out that you're really a Hylian in Z64 you go to Lon Lon Ranch and spend two hours or more jumping the two jumps in the paddock area. [I was depressed ok, I mean where's my real father he was never declared dead.
  8. You refer to Link's father as your real father.
  9. You tell your brother who' s expecting a baby girl to name her Zelda.
  10. When the school fire alarm goes off the first thing you do is try to save your friend's Link action figure saying."I won't let Hyrule's hero die.
  11. You wonder how old Impa really is.
  12. When fighting Gannondorf you pretend your playing baseball with your dad.
  13. When playing baseball with your dad you shout " Give up now Gannondof or I'll slay you with the master sword.
  14. When you are about to deliver the final blow to Gannon you pause the game and decide what color tunic you'll look best in to beat the game.
  15. When Ganon is cursing you when you send him to the evil realm you lean forward to the TV and say " give me a kiss.
  16. Your friends tell you you need help.
  17. You draw millions of triforces and under each write, where did Nintendo hide that dang triforce.
  18. When swimming around in circles in lake Hylia you make up this song:
    "spinning round in circles
    poopy goes the turtles
    la la
    we all step in it"
    and you say it is your good luck song and you can't beat the game with out singing it at least once.
  19. You finish typing your you know you've been playing to much zelda list and wonder if it's too late to save Zelda again.

You Know You Play Too Much Zelda When... By Princess Ruto

  1. When you shove a blowdryer into you're dad's back, saying "Put your hands in the air and gimme the Triforce!"
  2. You ask your red-headed friend what it feels like to be a Gerudo.
  3. You're constantly humming 'Zelda's Lullaby'.
  4. You've already picked out the cast for a Zelda movie.
  5. You have your ears surgically lengthened and pointed.
  6. You change your name to Link (if you're a boy), or Zelda (If you're a girl.)
  7. You and your friend do nothing but play Z64!
  8. You've become addicted to the internet, and only go on Zelda sites.
  9. The margins of your homework is covered with Triforces.
  10. You have a horse named Epona.

You Know You've Been Playing Too Much Zelda If... (part 2) By Sylvia

  1. When you walk into Social Studies class with your huge report, you say to your Social Studies teacher when he takes the report from your desk, "You may have made me write this report, but you'll NEVER get the Triforce! 'Ya hear me?!"
  2. When red-headed boy in your grade is using one of those triangle highlighters with three different colors, you take it from him and scream, "I GOT YOUR TRIFORCE, GANONDORF!!!"
  3. You build a sand castle on the beach, claim it is Gerudo's Fortress, and try to go in.
  4. You dive head first in the 13-foot pool and swim to the bottom to find Rupees.
  5. When you learn about Mt. Vesuvius in your evil Social Studies class, you say, "Yup. Death Mountain wiped out that whooooole place."
  6. You are convinced your locker is the Sacred Realm, and you punch that girl who's been looking in everyone's lockers when she looks at yours.
  7. You are convinced that Christina Aguilera is singing about a "fairy in a bottle."
  8. You think Amity Island in Jaws is Lake Hylia, so you don't let Link swim in lake Hylia anymore afraid that the shark will kill him.
  9. When you play Pokemon on your Game Boy Color, now every place has a new, Zelda-related, name.
  10. On your Pokemon game, Ash is now Link and Gary is now Ganondorf.

You Know You've Played Too Much Zelda When... By Collyne

  1. You call your girlfriend Zelda or boyfriend Link.
  2. You take apart your Zelda64 game thinking that Nintendo hid it somewhere.
  3. You go up to a red-headed girl and ask her so whats it like to be a Gerudo?
  4. You go around the school and parks lifting rocks and looking for secrets.
  5. You keep out a close watch for gold skulltulas.
  6. You become attracted to Link or Zelda.
  7. You go to the lake trying to swim to the bottom claiming that there must be a heart container piece.
  8. You go up to the red headed boy at school who always steals your pencil and say you'll never get away with this Ganondorf!
  9. You're smelly, you don't have any more friends and you don't have a job cause you just sit down and play the game non stop.
  10. One or more of these are true.

You've Been Playing Too Much Zelda If... By Foxyla

  1. You play Z64 so much that you could recite every line in the game.
  2. You sneak up to that good looking blonde headed girl and call her Zelda.
  3. You squish a spider and keep it as if it was a gold skulltula.
  4. After playing Z64 1000 times and you still bug the person who is the game wizard on where the triforce is.
  5. Your parents takes you to see the big redwood trees and they catch you talking to one of the trees and calling it the Great Deku Tree.
  6. You start climbing down a wishing well as if you were going to find the Lens-of- truth.
  7. You start hanging around with the local gravekeeper.
  8. You find yourself in the Tights isle at K-Mart.
  9. You play epona's song to a cow and hold a jar to see if it would give you milk just like that
  10. You take that sword and shield your parents have for decoration and say to your friends that you're going to save Hyrule.

You've Played Too Much Zelda When... By Marjorie-D and G-Killer

  1. You're constantly talking to the big oak tree in the park.
  2. You claim your room is the sacred realm.
  3. You go to the jewelry store looking for Emeralds, Rubies, and Sapphires.
  4. You're constantly checking the world map for the land of Hyrule.
  5. You collect empty bottles.
  6. You go to the graveyard looking for Dampe.
  7. If you have a younger brother, you ask your Mom if she could send him to the evil Realm, because he stole the Tri-force from you.
  8. When you stand up you finally realize that there is a butt groove in your couch.
  9. You wake up from a seven years sleep.
  10. You try to make Blue, Green, and Red potions in your chemistry class.
  11. You draw about a million triforces.
  12. You look around your backyard for secret grottos.
  13. You look at a coca cola bottle and ask yourself 'what kind of potion is this?
  14. You imagine your Dad's hammer is the megaton hammer.
  15. You cut the grass looking for items.
  16. Your friends don't come near you because you ate too many magic beans.
  17. You have the key to your brother's room, so you think your entering the boss chamber.
  18. If all you ever do is eat, sleep, and play zelda, YOU HAVE PLAYED TOO MUCH ZELDA! I suggest you visit your phycyatrist today!

You've Played Too Much Zelda When... By Tigera

  1. you can't swim but don't mind jumping into a deep lake while wearing a blue tunic.
  2. you can't stand hot places, but don't mind walking into a volcano while wearing a red tunic
  3. you kill spiders and wonder why a token doesn't show up to prove that you've killed it
  4. you jump of buildings while holding chickens expecting to float down safely
  5. you try the above and are surprised when you wake up in hospital
  6. you talk to people at random and wonder why they don't repeat the same thing over and over
  7. you walk into peoples houses at random, break any jars, and expect them not to mind
  8. you believe that the triforce is something to find outside the game
  9. you wonder if nintendo knows about the fourth peice of triforce, and when they are going to make a game where you can go and get it
  10. you tell your other less informed zelda-fan friends about the fourth piece of triforce wondering why they dont know.
  11. you can play every known ocarina song on your 'ocarina of time' that you made in ceramics

Signs your obsession with the Legend of Zelda has grown out of control By Amber Washington

  1. You develop a fascination for blonde-haired, blue-eyed guys.
  2. Your cell phone has the Bolero of Fire ring tone.
  3. You try to persuade your blonde guy friend to add green to his wardrobe.
  4. When feeling hopeless, you catch yourself pleading heavenward, "Din, Farore, Nyru, Goddesses of Hyrule, lend me your strength."
  5. You take up archery as a hobby.
  6. When observing different species of spiders at the zoo, you exclaim, "Hey! That one looks just like a skulltula."
  7. The southwest wall of your bedroom is covered with every existing Zelda wallpaper and entitled "The Legend of Zelda: Shrine of Ages."
  8. In History class, you find yourself searching a map for the land of Hyrule.
  9. You have an uncontrollable urge to beat the crap out of everyone who badmouths the Legend of Zelda.
  10. You notice how you and Princess Zelda (or Link) share distinct physical and psychological similarities.
  11. At first, you are enraged at the creator, producer, and cast of the Lord of the Rings, claiming that they stole their ideas from the Legend of Zelda series. You later fall in love with Legolas because he bears an uncanny resemblance to Link.
  12. You find yourself blushing and your heart rate quickening whenever you view a close-up photo of Link.
  13. You carry a photo of Link in your wallet, claiming that he's your boyfriend and one and only true love.
  14. You gaze longingly at the countryside, wondering if darkness will fall before you reach the end of the field.
  15. You demand respect from your peers, claiming you were born with the Trifore of Wisdom.
  16. You constantly wonder if Shigeru Miyamoto will ever let Link and Zelda publicly admit their feelings for one another.
  17. You examine the creation of Hyrule over and over in your mind, wondering how on Earth can the three goddesses live among villagers as oracles.
  18. You argue that Peter Pan and Robin Hood are Hero-of-Time wannabes.
  19. You develop a two-page theorem on why Link turned into a pink bunny rabbit in the Dark World in his A Link to the Past adventure.
  20. When you first hear the new Eclipse gum commercial jingle, you shout, "Hey, that's a rip-off of the Serenade of Water!"
  21. When you have difficulty completing a temple and die eight times consecutively, you yell at the TV screen, throw down the controller, and storm angrily out of the room. You then return five minutes later, apologize to Link, and beg for his cooperation.
  22. You lie awake at night trying to place the Legend of Zelda adventures into chronological order.
  23. You identify the you are having withdrawal symptoms when at school, you constantly glance at the clock, counting down the hours standing between you and your video game play. When you can't take it any longer, you run out of the classroom mumbling, "Ganon has enslaved the nation. The world can't wait any longer."

You Know You've Been Playing Too Much Zelda When... By Melissa

  1. If your friend calls Link something like Wink ect. you freak out and insult his/her name!
  2. You find a blue ocarina shaped jelly-bean and keep it in a secret place so the red haired boy nextdoor can't use it to enter the sacred realm.
  3. You make a clay ocarina in art class.
  4. You hate the kid nextdoor who looks like Ganon.
  5. You get a game over, cry for Link and have a private funeral and PERSONALLY don’t invite the kid next door who looks like Ganon
  6. You have all the heart containers and skutulas and when your friend asks if he can erase over it and make a slot of his own you scream 'Your not gona banish my sacred power that easily Ganon!'
  7. If you see a new zelda game you reserve it 20 times not trusting the store.
  8. When the cuccos kill you, you attack them again for revenge.
  9. You memorize every step in the game you have to go to. every enemy and how many hits it takes to kill them.
  10. When you kill an enemy you laugh evily for 5 minutes then move on to the next enemy.
  11. You save your money for 2 years and when you have enough to buy a sword your parents say you cant have one and then you attack them with your invisible sword.
  12. Your boyfriend/girlfriend starts talking about a game other than Zelda and you call them a traitor and break up with them.
  13. You have one major Zelda slot and beat each of the other 2 a day.
  14. You have never paused for more than 5 seconds.
  15. You see someone named Link in the obituaries and demand that your parents let you go to the funeral.
  16. You scream at the top of your lungs if your parents don't let you play Zelda for an entire day.
  17. You make your boyfriend/girlfriend call you Zelda/Link to replace hunny ect.
  18. You realize you have a name.
  19. You forget your friends name and phone number
  20. You forget you have friends.
  21. You forget to breathe.
  22. You think the elf on the cookie box is a Kokiri and announce to your friends they came out with zelda cookies.
  23. You put the Zelda cookie with your ocarina jellybean.
  24. You scream at the t he same kid nextdoor 'I'LL NEVER LET YOU EAT THE KOKIRIS!!!' demand to come inside and check to see if they have any Zelda cookies.
  25. You don't think any of this stuff is crazy.
  26. You cry every time you walk inside frozen Zora's domain.
  27. You cry whenever you think about Zora's Domain being frozen.
  28. You bought a blue ocarina off e-bay and won't let friends at school play it even though you bring it every day so the kid next door can't steal it.
  29. You try to kill all the girls in your game not worthy of Link
  30. If your friend plays Epona's song wrong you make him walk without using Epona thoughout the game.
  31. When you log on-line you hear the computer say ‘ You have 13,362 new messages.’
  32. You have had at least 5 of these happen to you.
  33. You happen to be the kid next door and hate the girl next door.

Signs that you have been playing the Legend of Zelda too much By K. Ryzewski

  1. You look at a spider and scream "AHHH!!!! GHOMA!!!!!"
  2. You look in a mirror and could swear that your ears are growing longer
  3. You get drunk and see a fariy above you and name it Navi.
  4. You ride a horse and to get it to go faster you take out a carrot and throw it on the ground then 5 seconds later you ride up and pick it up again.
  5. You think that Pangea was Hyrule.
  6. You look out the window at night and you swore that you saw a poe.
  7. You acctually saw a poe.
  8. You take up archery and Swordsmanship.
  9. You learn to fire arrows while riding a horse at the poe you saw.
  10. You see a huge green leaf and you say that it was a Deku Leaf
  11. You pick up a white stick and think that you can change the wind with it.
  12. You go to the nearest church and try to give the priest a sapphire, ruby, and emerald and ask them, "Now that I have completed your quest, could you give me the Master Sword?"
  13. You constantly pester your parents to take you to a graveyard to catch the poe you saw with a bottle to give it to the gravekeeper.
  14. You think that the gravekeeper will give you ruppies.
  15. You don't know that when he goes to get them, he's acctually calling 911.
  16. When you get to the loony house, you say to the gravekeeper, "WHY DID YOU BETRAY ME?!?!?!?!?!"
  17. You pick up a chicken and when you drop it you will run for your life thinking that tons of chickens are attacking you.
  18. The chickens acctually attacked you.
  19. You spend countless dollars recreating the Master Sword.
  20. When you get it, you freeze for seven years and wake up having seen the sage of time.
  21. You are wearing a green tunic when you do all of this.
  22. You see a boat and start talking to it.
  23. The boat talks back.
  24. A big rainstorm comes and you tell your parents to get a boat and head for the tallest mountains because the world is being wiped out and you are the last hope to save it.
  25. You did do number 24 and your parents make an appointment for the psychiestrist.
  26. You have done one or some of these
  27. If you have done any of these, YOU NEED HELP!!!!!!

You know you've been playing too much Zelda when... By Alice2

  1. You believe that the heat from the Fire Temple melted you ears in to a funny shape and they aren't pointed anymore.
  2. Before your parents bring the hamburgers to the dining room table you whisper to the sibling beside you "Malon gave me that cow. I can't believe their gonna eat it!"
  3. You have a collection of triangular pieces and you go through them until you have all 8 triforce pieces.
  4. You sleep with lights all around you for fear your shadow will attack.
  5. Your "fairy" is lost among the lightning bugs.
  6. You can read Hylian perfectly and don't bother finding the Book of Mudora in Zelda Three and win the game.
  7. After recess you claim Ganon's Castle (aka school) is collapsing and you help that blond girl with triangular earrings escape.
  8. You tell your friends red Kool-aid restores health, green Kool-aid restores magic powers and blue Kool-aid restores magic and health.
  9. Your new car says "Epona" on the bumper sticker and the antenna topper is a carrot
  10. When your dad cuts down a tree you cry "No!! He is the gardian of the forest!"

You know you've been playing too much Zelda when... By Theresa

  1. You actually take the time to read these lists.
  2. You find it hilarious how at least some of them are true.
  3. You actually take the time to add on to these lists and write your own.

You know you've been playing too much Zelda if... By NabooruFan

  1. You call every one of you friends that can sing Malon, Cremia, Romani, Lulu, or Nayru.
  2. You believe when you wake up, you'll be a sage.
  3. You say 'How inconsiderate?!' every time you meet up with someone you were seperated from.
  4. You kill EVERY yellow spider.
  5. You call leaves 'Makar'.
  6. Search ever fountain in sight, in search of a fairy.
  7. You watch the moon every night, wandering if it will fall.
  8. You trade mask for rupees.
  9. You watch fish to see if they'll grow wings or a beak.
  10. When you and your friend get in a fight you yell, 'Veran! Leave my friend alone!!!!'

You know you've been playing too much Zelda when... By Jimmy

  1. You carve a sword out of a stick.
  2. You pretend your pillow is Link.
  3. You draw the triforce on your hand.
  4. You make elf ears out of plaster of paris.
  5. You actually know that rupees are from Africa.
  6. You are reading this know to see if you have been playing too much Zelda.

You know you've been playing too much Zelda when... By Zelda

  1. You become attracted to Link if you're a girl, Zelda if you're a boy.
  2. You run up to red-haired boys and yell "You will never get my Triforce Ganondorf!".
  3. You want to call your horse Epona no matter what your mom says.
  4. You are always hoping a new boy named Link will come to your school and be your boyfriend.
  5. You drive all the red-haired boys at school crazy by calling them 'Ganondork' every time you see them.
  6. You force your teachers and friends to call you 'Link The Hero of Time'.
  7. You go up to the pretty blonde girl at school and say "Hi I'm Link, want to get married Zelda?".
  8. You have an exact replica of the Ocarina of Time.
  9. When you vist Hawaii you beg your mom and dad to go to the pool and find a whale and save Princess Ruto.
  10. You knit a tunic, carve a sword and a shield out of wood and claim you're going to save Hyrule.
  11. You call your best friend Saria and demand her to carve you a ocarina.
  12. You draw a triforce on your hand.
  13. When you lose on Ganondorf you yell at the tv and say, "You may have won this time but I will get you Ganondorf!"
  14. You are smelly, crazy and have no friends.

You Might Be a Zelda Freak If... By UltraFleck

  1. You have that unending suspision that you haven't found all the skulltula yet
  2. Whenever something scrapes around in your background, you go out looking to kill it
  3. Acting on impulse, you shoot an arrow at the sun as it rises over the lake while you're camping
  4. You seriously wonder what the old man at the lake does all day
  5. You're good at Metal Gear because you went through the stealthy garden-scene in Ocarina of Time so many times
  6. Your friends want to start a band, and you are adamant in trying to bring an ocarina into the group
  7. You can actually play REAL music on the Ocarina of Time in the game
  8. Somehow you think a dark blue tunic allows you to breathe underwater
  9. You fear long, dark hallways and always keep a look out for shadows from the ceiling (as if that's possible, Nintendo!)
  10. You actually like that annoying song that System of a Down made about Zelda
  11. You ponder deeply if the hole that Jack Skelington went into is the same one Link went into to find Termina.
  12. The little "I found treasure!" jingle sounds in your head every time you find a quarter on the ground
  13. You actually try to put all the happenings of the Zelda world into Chronological order
  14. You have a nagging suspicion that you the book you need from the library is atop an asking-to-be-rammed-with-Pegasus-Boots bookcase
  15. You repeatedly start the game over to avoid killing the man who gives you the crappy wooden sword (he deserves it anyway...)

You've Been Playing Too Much Zelda When... By Arty Monkey

  1. You go down to your nearest farm, throwing carrots at the horses, thinking it will make them run faster.
  2. On your summer camping trips, after sundown you demand for everyone to jump into the river.
  3. You're constantly running through bushes, hoping to find rupees.
  4. You get a concussion from running into trees, expecting Skulltulas to fall out.
  5. In hospital, (because of your concussion) you tell the doctors that all you need is a bottled fairy.
  6. You dive off a cliff looking for rupees hoping that when you return you will be given the silver scales.
  7. You die diving off a cliff.
  8. Your will is set out on the kitchen table. Your parents go ballistic finding that you planned it all.
  9. They read your will, but they find everything is for Zelda, Malon, Ruto, Saria and all the girls who liked you.
  10. You requested to be buried with your paper mache ocarina and Zelda games.
  11. You are disapointed to find yourself in heaven, and not the chamber of sages.

You might be a Zelda freak if... By Mokuren

  1. you get a tatoo of the Triforce on the back of your hand and claim that you have the fourth piece, and plan to show it off to Ganondorf when he comes over for tea next week to make him jealous.
  2. Refering to one, until then you show it off to everyone in town and throw the non-believers in your dungeon.
  3. You get a horse, name it Epona, and step on chickens to get revenge, but to your demise, the chickens only get squished and do not attack you.
  4. You invite Link over for poker every Wednesday.
  5. You claim to have found Zora's Domain when scuba diving, you believe you have no matter what your psychiatrist says...

You know when you've been playing Zelda too much when... By Sheik

  1. When you're playing tennis with your friends you think you're fighting Ganondorf and you beat your friend up when he/she misses the ball.
  2. When you're fighting Ganondorf you think you're playing tennis with your friends.
  3. You drink your mum's bleach because you think it heals you health and gives you magic.
  4. You take up swordfighting lessons, archery lessons, and horseriding lessons.
  5. You think your garden is Hyrule field.
  6. You wake up in a loonybin (mental hospital) wearing a straightjacket and think you're Zora Link.
  7. You think Hyrule field is your garden.
  8. You wear white furry slippers and attempt to walk over the Grand Canyon.
  9. You attach loads of bricks to your shoe, wear a blue T-shirt and sink to the bottom of your local swimmng pool.
  10. You wake up in hospital after doing the above three and feel surprised.

You know when you've been playing Zelda too much if... By Angelfish

  1. You always wear green, blue, or red (Links tunics' colors)
  2. You learn to play the ocarina
  3. You make yourself a bow and take archery
  4. You get a plastic sword and call it the Master Sword
  5. You bop anyone you know on the head with your sword
  6. You call red-heads Gerudos
  7. You call the tall red-head who always wears black Ganon
  8. You draw a triforce on your hand
  9. You draw Zelda and Link kissing on your tests
  10. You worship Nayru, Din, and Farore
  11. You have a reddish horse and name it Epona
  12. You swim in a whale's mouth to find Princess Ruto
  13. You memorize all the Zelda songs on your ocarina
  14. You go in a tree and squish a spider and claim you killed Ghoma
  15. You call Ganondorf GanonDORK
  16. You dye your hair blond
  17. You bop any red-head with your sword really hard
  18. You think you are the Hero of Time
  19. You call your boyfriend Link, or your girlfriend Zelda
  20. You always listen to Zelda music
  21. You actually take time to read this stuff
  22. If you get a bad grade, you call your teacher a Gerudo
  23. You think your girl math teacher is Ganondorf's girlfriend
  24. You attack people who are mean with your sword
  25. You are stupid and fail school

You know when you've been playing Zelda too much when... By Lissa

  1. You freak out when it starts to rain right after you play the Song of Storms on your flute.
  2. You look at your boyfriend, but instead of seeing black hair, brown eyes, T-shirt, jeans, and Nike shoes, you see blond hair, blue eyes, tunic, hose, and boots.
  3. You start to have nightmares about a drawbridge lowering...a white horse racing by... a man on a black horse shooting lightning balls at you...
  4. You go to New York to see the Statue of Liberty, but instead of a robed woman holding a torch and document, you see a tunic-clad guy holding a sword and shield.
  5. You look at the moon to see how many hours remain.
  6. You try to make baby chicks turn into chickens by wearing a bird mask.
  7. You see a guy with long hair holding a guitar and say, "Hey Japas, wanna have a jam session?"
  8. You and your friends see an iguana and you shout, "Get back! It's a Dodongo!"
  9. You put a pear on your head at the beach.
  10. While on a cruise ship, you see an octopus and scream, "Turn the ship around! We have to kill it and save the Giant Fairy!"
  11. You go to the Egyptian section at the museum, see a mummy, and immediately start humming the Song of Healing.
  12. You feel terrified whenever you see your shadow.
  13. You have a sudden and uncontrollable urge to wear green all the time.
  14. You can still see the game before your eyes even though you turned it off two hours ago

You know when you've been playing Zelda too much when... By Sarah

  1. If your house has lots of trees surrounding it and there is a big tree in the center of your yard you call it the Kokiri forest.
  2. If your gym clothes are a white shirt and a pair of green shorts and you always wear a green jersey, you tell everyone that you are Link.
  3. If you are a good singer, you call yourself Nayru, your best friend Farore and your red-headed science teacher Din.
  4. You call the orange-haired girl in your class that loves horses and is a good singer Malon.
  5. If you have done all or one of these, YOU NEED TO GET HELP!

You know when you've been playing Zelda too much when... By Carmelina Tarasco

  1. you go into a store and demand that they take your rupees (instead of the actual currency)
  2. you go to the park and claim that the jungle gym in your treetop home and ask where your cow is
  3. you call the kids at the park kokiri and ask them for directions to the great deku tree
  4. you tell your parents you cant do your chores because its your duty to protect hyrule
  5. your parents tell you to shut off the game, and you spend the whole night twitching with withdrawl syndrome
  6. the first time you found the master sword in "ocarina of time" you jumped for joy and realized the 17 year old link is much cuter
  7. at work you call your bosses dodongo, goht, etc and claim that you will defeat them
  8. all you want to drink is lon lon ranches milk
  9. you have actually put time into researching whether or not termina field is an alternate dimension of hyrule( btw it isnt!)
  10. you actually created dances to the ocarina songs ( lol i sure have ;))
  11. everytime zelda asks you if you would help her you say no just to see how mad she would get ( it never gets old)
  12. once you agree to help her, you then play around with her more by spending the next half hour telling her you do not believe her
  13. your ideal lunch break is riding epona
  14. you love to make fun of that chicken girl in kakariko village( why is she doing that anyway if she is allergic?)
  15. whenever you play wind waker.. you cry because it is ssooo sad how things have changed from hyrule
  16. you also worry about the remaining gorons drowning if they fall of their raft things( we all know that they sink as we learned in majoras mask)
  17. for fun you love to see how you can get lost in the lost woods
  18. you stayed in the windmill because you loved how the song of storms drove your parents crazy
  19. your lullaby is the song of time ( its really groggy)
  20. the song of storms never drove you crazy while you were going around and around the windmill
  21. whenever you made a mistake and hurt link you would swear at those monsters that caused it to happen
  22. you then go through that part of the game over and over untill you can do it without hurting link
  23. everytime you go to a farm you ask the owner where malon is and if he is related to talon
  24. when you go to an anime convention( anime north..etc.) and you see people dressed as link, you get upset that most of them are girls.(or jealous)
  25. you also get upset at the few guys that did dress as link because they just want to take his fame and glory( and you insisst thet none of them really look like him)
  26. you dont let your friends play your game in fear that they might want to take him away from you
  27. when you let one of your guy friends play, you have to take the controller away from him cus he keeps letting the redeads kill link(he thinks its funny)
  28. your cell phone answering machine says " sorry i cant come to the phone cos i am in a business meeting with zelda" or " i cant answer your call because i am busy with ganondork" or something along those lines
  29. your cell phone ringers give you a selection of all the ocarina songs
  30. you get mad at your friends for saying that xander from the cartoon "drawn together" is supposed to be link( LINK IS NOT GAY!!!)
  31. you feel the uge to hurt anyone that likes ganon
  32. at the hairdresser you claim people who are dying their hair red to be followers under Ganon's rule
  33. on every site you have joined your name has something to do with zelda characters
  34. you start going around school showing your friends the triforce you drew on your hand and claim it is the triforce of courage and your fat vice principle is "the Ganon"
  35. you draw the triforce of courage on your hand, get together with a friend of yours who is also a zelda fan, and she draws the triforce of wisdom on her hand.
  36. you both go up to the redhead boy who picks on her ( your friend) and forcefully draw the triforce of power on his hand only to later "take it from him"
  37. you draw a triforce on your closet door and call your room the temple of time
  38. you only open your closet door when you have the 3 jewels and play the song of time
  39. you have a toy sword and call it the master sword
  40. you have a block made of paper mache to hold your sword
  41. you get sent to your room and decide to pull your sword so that you can awaken out of your grounding 7 years later
  42. your cat or pet has a litter and you give all of them a character name, the evil mean one is called ganon
  43. you believe a near by lake is lake hylia and caution people not to go in because its oktorok season
  44. when you find a lost item you hold it in the air and scream " you have just found..." and the music plays
  45. you go on to explain to your friends how it will be useful in battle/ quest
  46. when people sneak up on you or pop out of no where you claim they are wall masters and attack them
  47. and last but not least: you have read everyone elses list and randomly decided to post your own as a form of entertainment while the cinematic parts of zelda are playing

You know when you've been playing Zelda too much when... By Chris Lopez

  1. You get a chicken, paint it blue, call it Cujo, give it to the local hobo and expect him to give you a mushroom.
  2. You make movies of zelda with your dads video camera about you being Link and your adventures.(I made a trilogy)
  3. You invite the whole block to your house to watch it and you turn into the city psychopath.
  4. Your girlfriend breaks up with you but you dont care because you have Zelda at your side.
  5. You're reading this list.
  6. Your eyes always feel sore when you wake up because you only got 1 hour of sleep.(Playing Zelda)
  7. You have a friggin homemade sword and shield and go around hitting people.
  8. You allegedly blew bubbles at some guy who was wearing a mask and said,"Give me back my ocarina"
  9. They put your whole house on lockdown and you yell," I'll kill you Ganon if you don't let me out"
  10. You grab a blue lightbulb and shatter it thinking you have Nayru's Love and walk outside and get taken down by dogs.
  11. You have every zelda soundtrack that ever came out.
  12. This is your all time favorite Zelda Website.(Me)

You know when you've played Zelda too much when/because... By Bloo

  1. You have a green pointy hat
  2. You think you have to save Hyrule from this unusually huge pig in your uncle's farm
  3. You get sent to the Principles office for "Slaying Ganondorf", the red-haired kid whom you don't even know, where you actually beat him up with your pencil and cardboard as the Master sword and Mirror Shield
  4. You try everything to look like your favorite Zelda Character
  5. You think that hot red-haired girl in you're school is Din, and you ask her to change the season to summer so school can be out, and you can save Hyrule from Ganon without your parents bothering you
  6. You hear it raining, and you play the Song of Storms to make it stop
  7. In your backyard in winter, you see that your pond has frozen, and you yell out "NOT THE ZORA'S!!!!!!!"
  8. You believe that you heard the Goddesses summon you, and you waste 2 years trying to find Death Mountain on the map
  9. A Spider crawls into a hole in a tree in your backyard, and you set out to kill it, only wasting 4 hours on Saturday, yelling and screaming "I will kill you Ghomah!!!", trying to find it, but then realizing it left the minute it saw you
  10. You think that Volvagia is back on the loose when you hear a volcanoe erupted, and you want to go save the Gorons
  11. You know how to play compicated songs on the Ocarina (games)
  12. You think that turtle in that pond behind your house will take you to a mystical temple, and that the Pirhana that some how got in there is Gyorg
  13. You see a brain-like shape in your local swimming pool, and you freak out, yelling "MORPHA HAS COME FOR US!!!"... where the brain-like shape was really a bottle of shampoo, that you dropped
  14. You constantly talk to the same person, expecting them to say the same thing, but isntead hit you in the head
  15. You go to work and realize your boss is huge, and you storm into his office with your "weapons" (thin stick, cereal box side) with the back of your hand out, saying "I'll defeat you GANON!!!"
  16. You dream of one day meeting Link and Zelda
  17. You like drinking milk from bottles
  18. You collect fresh srping water in bottles
  19. You wish you lived in Hyrule or Termina
  20. You hope to one day find the Temple of Time, find a Fairy to call it Navi, and meet Rauru: the Sage of Light
  21. You think that pulling a plastic sword from your plastic pedestal will make you freeze for 7 years
  22. You are still holding that sword, and your mom ruins the fun when she says "Time for school!"
  23. You go to school, still holding that sword
  24. As you get home, you are still holding that sword
  25. By the next day you are still holding that sword
  26. You curse at the sword, and throw it out the window. 7 minutes later, you quickly jump out after it, landing ontop of its point, injuring yourself, and apologizing to it for "Violating it's code"
  27. You are still holding that sword, awake at night, and you fall asleep.
  28. You wake up, and believe you are now 7 years older.
  29. You are still actually reading this list
  30. and you still holding that sword

You know you've been playing too much zelda when... By Nintengirl

  1. You ask for your pocket money in rupees
  2. Everything in your wardbrobe is green.
  3. You start talking to stones, and refer to them as "Gorons".
  4. Fish are now "Zoras".
  5. When you get on the bus, you ask for a one way ticket to Hyrule, and try to pay in rupees.
  6. You start to call your best freind Saria, and the class bully Mido.
  7. When you go into the garden, you watch out carefully for Minish.
  8. At Halloween, you begin to dress as Peter Pan every year.
  9. There is a large butt-groove on the sofa.
  10. Your console is so over-heated you have to switch it off with fire-tongs.
  11. When you are not playing Zelda, you make up You know when you've been playing too much Zelda when...lists.
  12. You refuse to drink anything but Lon-Lon milk.
  13. You call your teacher Sahrasala.
  14. Your eyes go sqaure, and you wear blue contact lenses.
  15. You finally come out of your room, triumphant, only to realise you're late for school, and your parents have sent the police out looking for you...

You know you've been playing too much zelda when... By Chris

  1. You renew the Triforce drawing on the back of your hand every time you get outta the shower.
  2. Everytime you play Zelda you start screaming when Ganondorf kills you and then you plot your utter most revenge.
  3. You go to EVERY SINGLE Zelda site that exists.
  4. You make up games that either resemble or continue Link's adventures.
  5. You call your mom Queen of Hyrule, your dad King of Hyrule, your sister Zelda and claim to be Link.
  6. You wish that you had Link's equipment.
  7. You swim in a huge deep pool trying to find Ruto's message in a bottle.

You Know You've Been Playing Too Much Zelda When... By TDKL Ross

  1. You think that all boys/girls with blonde hair, blue eyes and wears green are so cute.
  2. You buy a blue ocarina on ebay.
  3. You start to wear green tunics (if you're a boy) or long pink gowns with the triforce and a phoenix (if you're a girl).
  4. You get plastic surgery to get pointy ears.
  5. You get a dark reddish brown palamino and call it Epona.
  6. You think that all boys with red hair are Ganondorf.
  7. You think that all girls with red hair are Gerudo.
  8. You say to the red headed farm girl who can sing really well "You're good at singing Malon".
  9. You call Peter Pan and Robin Hood Link wannabes.
  10. When you look in a mirror you see Link (if you're a boy) or Zelda (if you're a girl) instead of your own reflection

You know you've been hanging around The Legend of Zelda, and spending too much time on North Castle when… By Zelda_girl

  1. When you go to the mall and pick out a pick dress, if you are charged over 50 dollars you say, “Do you know who I am? Isn’t there a royalty discount or something???”
  2. Or you pick out a knife at the weapons section and you are charged over 50 dollars you say, “I saved your butts from the psycho Gerudo King and you expect me to pay you that much for this??? Isn’t there a Hero of Time discount. Where’s the manager?” And you start going crazy with your sword.
  3. If your red headed science teacher confiscates your three sided high-lighter, you shake a fist at him and shout, “I’ll get my Triforce back! And Princess Zelda too.”
  4. When you see some one experience number three you think they’re absolutely…normal.
  5. You think you think you can play whiffle ball with an empty milk jug.
  6. You really hate the pitcher and say, “I’ll hit you next time, Ganondorf!”
  7. You hate alphabet spiders.
  8. You call the girl with glasses that has a paranormal crush on you, Ruto.
  9. You suspiciously cover your math book whenever you see the Triforce symbol in it and mumble under your breath, “You’re not getting it this time Ganondorf!”
  10. You call every camel you see “Claries.”
  11. You call the kindergartner that hates you, Mido.
  12. The red and creamy white horse at summer camp always seems to be missing, along with some archery gear, walnuts, sticks, and you.
  13. You ask the lady who works at Sea World if you can dive into Shamu’s tank to look for a fish princess.
  14. You visit the Mayan ruins and exclaim, “Where are all of Gerudo guards.”
  15. You think your zip line is a primitive hookshot.
  16. If one or more of these are true and your parents put you in therapy for the rest of your life.

You know you've been playing too much Zelda if....... By Ben Fuller

  1. You just play hours and hours of it for 3 days
  2. Your room is full of Zelda Posters
  3. You take a real sword and shield to school and you get suspended by the principle because you thought that the principle was Ganon
  4. You put the Triforce on your right hand and say that it feels like it's working.
  5. You transfer your money currency into Rupees
  6. You never died in one of the games
  7. You had your girlfriend to dye her hair blonde, and yours too.
  8. You actually thought that Ganon was in your school when having a Lockdown drill.
  9. You realize you've been fasting for 4 months without knowing it.
  10. You find a red & white horse and call it Epona and escape the ranch with her.
  11. You teach your kids how to swordplay and defend themselves.

You Know You've Been Playing Too Much Zelda When... By Jennifer Knezevic

  1. You catch a firefly, show it to your friends, and say, "Look guys, I caught a fairy!" "It restores life and energy!"
  2. You see a castle and say, "Ganondorf I now know where you're hiding!"
  3. One day you have a power outage and say, "Ganondorf I know it's you behind all this!"
  4. The same day the principle is on the PA, and says, "The power outage was a mistake, it will be back on shortly!" And you say, "Yeah right. Ganondorf put you up to this, didn't he?!"
  5. The same day theres a fire drill and you say, "You again Ganondorf?!"
  6. About three days later there's a lockdown. You say, "Ganondorf give it a rest, you'll never get the Triforce!"
  7. You think you're Zelda/Link.
  8. You start seeing a fairy named Navi, go on advantures, and save the world.
  9. All you ever do is play Zelda!
  10. You find this web site.
  11. You read all these lists.
  12. Better yet you add to these lists!

You Know You've Been Playing Too Much Zelda When... By Rex

  1. All you have on you ipod/ mp3 player is zelda related music
  2. The redheaded boy down the street comes to your house and asks if you can play you get the plastic sword you mom wishes she never got you for christmas and chase him all the way back to his home...2 miles away
  3. You brag to your friends how much better you can draw the master sword than they can.
  4. Every time sombody talks to you you respond by saying how easy the fire temple was.(by the way its very easy).
  5. You have to renew the batteries in your wirerless controller every two days.
  6. A string and paperclip is your new your grappling hook.
  7. You have no friends because you interupt them telling them how easy the fire temple was.
  8. You pick up the phone and say the fire temple was easy ganondorf you will never stop me.
  9. Pople around you can imitate every word you say because all you say is the fire temple was easy.
  10. You legally change you name to Link or Zelda
  11. You hate everybody that says the fire temple was hard.
  12. you have no life like me and start writing, you know you have been playing zelda to much when, lists.
  13. You take up drawing and refuse to draw anything not related to Legend of Zelda.
  14. Your hitlist has people who badmouth legend of zelda and people who say the fire temple was hard.
  15. You think the old guy across the street is a likelike and refuse to go on his driveway with the sword your mom wishes she never got you for christmas and shield made of cardboard.
  16. You curse Ganondorf everytime the screen says the game disk cannot be read please read the Nintendo instuction manual for more details, and you didnt save.
  17. You call redheads gerudos and when the ask you what a gerudo is stare in shock they dont know what a gerudo is have every single zelda game ever made.
  18. You have every single zelda game in japanese.
  19. You won't let any of your siblings play in fear of them getting killed by chuchus.(how do my sisters get killed by chuchus).
  20. You wear boots with metal on them while in a pool.
  21. You draw the triforce on your hand until your hand bleeds.
  22. You claim to be kokiri and you buy a slingshot so you can shoot it at the mean kid you call mido.
  23. You get scared whenever you hear the word Volvagia.
  24. You look at a test and you see Question one, when Link defeats Ganondorf how long did he groan. Question two, Link and Zelda obviously love each other but will they ever publicly show how they feel.
  25. You adapt so that you sleep every five minutes and wake up and are active for five minutes.(lets give around of applause for the idiots that made days and nights so short in ocarina of time).
  26. You think that every zelda joke is funny.

You Know You've Been Playing Too Much Zelda When... By Alex Gray

  1. You run into caves with old men screaming at them that you need a sword.
  2. During history, when your teacher asks you what the dinosaur is called you shout "dodongo"
  3. You beat up people called Arthur for stealing the idea of the sword in the stone.
  4. You cut holes in green hats and sugically attach birds to call them Ezlo.
  5. You pick daises and throw them at people shouting "KABOOM!" in hope that they are secretly bomb flowers.
  6. You stop at every fountain and play the royal family song in hope that some half naked pink headed fairy will come out and give you an evil laugh
  7. You catch bees in nets, bottle them and throw them at people to scare them.
  8. When shoe shopping, you always pick the heaviest shoes and tell your dad that you can reach the water temple with them...
  9. Or that you run about calling them pegasus boots and saying that no-one can catch you.
  10. You know secretly that Mario and Luigi run a farm and that Mario's daughter will one day show herself, and you can steal her horse.
  11. That blonde haired girl you like always happens to wear pink, even though you're colourblind...
  12. Last time you saw a red haired, slightly tanned man, you beat the crap outta him with your master sword then some guys in white took you away...
  13. When you finnaly escaped, you saw a big dog and beat the crap outta that claiming he had transformed and you need to slay the evil beast.
  14. After 7 long years of locked up, you run outside screaming "The beast is slayed, now to find my true love, Zelda. That temple of time was boring"
  15. You stand on log stump waving your stick in summer asking your friends if they want a snowball fight.
  16. You put a mask of sadam on and claim it transformed you and now you can make bombs.
  17. After removing the masks, you throw plastic at people shouting "KABOOM"
  18. Last time you saw a dwarf with a red balloon, you beat crap outta him shouting "I WANT MY MONEY BACK YOU THIEVING LITTLE FAIRY WANABE"
  19. If the dwarf shouts "HEEEEYY!" back at you, its his final words...
  20. You standin on a pyramid with a mirror shoutiing "I wanna go back to the light world!"
  21. You know Koholint Island is real.
  22. Blue chickens can fly.
  23. When you went to the shop, you went to the staff area, and upon getting caught,, you showed them your "members pass". Another seven years with the nice white coated people
  24. Your kids are called Zelda, Link and Ganondorf, and you tie ganondorf down telling Link and Zelda to beat him up...
  25. Your friend dyed her hair green so now yu follow her around tellin her to teach you a groovy beat.
  26. You played songs to mummies, hoping to steal their mask...
  27. Men with big grins and a bag of masks can't be trusted, he rapes gorons...
  28. Gorons, Zoras and Hylians are real, but they're hiding at Romani Ranch, coz you thought it was more fun to attack Tingle repeatedly.
  29. Tall people should ALWAYS walk around in groups of 4.
  30. Faries are real, and you have loads in bottles... but when people ask to see them, you tell them that you need them, so you can live longer...
  31. When the old man asks you to take this to the old women, you really hope its a prescription for some paracetamol, as you got a headache after spending hours attempting to find the triforce, which we all know Rauru ate in his hunger...
  32. You dive off Niagra Falls, trying to find rupees so that you can get the "silver scale".
  33. You catch yourself talking trees, and climbing to the top looking for leaves big enough to jump with, and emeralds that look worthy enough of opening a door with.
  34. You have done at least half of these...
  35. You read all of these, and know its possible to do them, so you order yourself a sword and get started on the easy ones

You Know You've Been Playing Too Much Zelda If... By Ben Fuller

  1. You just play hours and hours of it for 3 days.
  2. Your room is full of Zelda posters.
  3. You take a real sword and shield to school and you get suspended by the principle because you thought that the principle was Ganon.
  4. You put the Triforce on your right hand and say that the symbol feels like its working.
  5. You transfer your money currency into Rupees.
  6. You never died in one of the games.
  7. You had your girlfriend to dye her hair blond; and yours too.
  8. You actually thought that Ganon was in your school when having a Lockdown drill.
  9. You had realized you've been fasting for 4 months without knowing it.
  10. You find a red & white horse and call it Epona and immediately escape the ranch with her.
  11. You teach your kids how to swordplay and defend themselves.
  12. You are drawing the Triforce on every assignment.

You Know You've Been Playing Too Much Zelda When... By MidnaScape

  1. You can play all the ocarina songs on your plastic blue ocarina
  2. You actually HAVE a plastic blue ocarina
  3. The only thing you can play on the piano is Zelda music
  4. You have A, down C, right C, left C, and up C taped onto the appropriate keys on your piano
  5. While playing Twilight Princess, you pause the game and record the music so you can learn to play it on the piano
  6. Your friend gave you a home made Zelda card for your birthday
  7. She also gave you a shirt with a drawing of Link on the front
  8. The back has a drawing of the Triforce and says "Hyrule is cool!"
  9. The sleeves both have a drawing of Navi on them.
  10. While wearing this shirt, you tell people that the only thing worse than a Navi is two Navi's
  11. You draw a comic of Midna meeting Navi
  12. You draw a Zelda comic in a modern day setting
  13. You're considering getting the Triforce of Courage tattooed on your left hand
  14. You realize that wearing a sword on your back doesn't work
  15. You have perfected Link's style of swimming
  16. You realize it doesn't work very well
  17. You have dreams of marrying Link
  18. You think up a "You know you've been playing too much Zelda when . . ." list while taking a shower
  19. You ran the well dry because you weren't paying attention
  20. For Halloween, you and your friends put on fake pointy ears and come to school as Zelda characters
  21. The first time you used a real bow, you were exceptionally good because you've been practicing in the games
  22. You do the temples out of order just to piss Navi off.
  23. You've actually DONE sixteen of these
  24. There is no fourth Triforce piece. Get over it.

You know you've been playing waaaay to much Zelda when... By Abby

  1. You search for golden skutullas at night.
  2. You claim the mailman is a Rito.
  3. You talk nonstop Zelda to your mom.
  4. You won't let anybody in the playhouse without them letting you draw a triforce on their hand with your orange pen.
  5. You draw a million triforces.
  6. You continuously draw Zelda comics.
  7. You spend the whole day on your wii playing Zelda.
  8. You can't sleep without thinking of Zelda.
  9. You often buy zelda games (I MEAN OFTEN.)
  10. You do all of these.

You know you have become addicted to the Legend of Zelda and you should seriously consider getting professional help when… by Link_fan

*You can’t go back to the local zoo…you chased the goats in the petting zoo into the barn, you tried to free the wolf, and you attempted to dive into the whale tank. (What? You were looking for Ruto!)

*You will drink a suicide drink without a second thought, but you will NEVER eat grape jelly. Ever.

*You can beat the Water Temple in your sleep, but you CAN’T UNLOCK YOUR DANG LOCKER!!!!

*You buy an ocarina, take it to school, and play Zelda’s Lullaby in front of your locker. You are surprised when it doesn’t open…

*You can play all of the ocarina songs on your recorder in music class, but you can’t play Hot Cross Buns.

*You have memorized the Triforce of time theory, but you can’t remember the Pythagorean Theorem.

*Your English teacher gives you back your vocabulary quiz, and the only word you didn’t define correctly was “din.” However, your teacher still gave you half credit for the definition you wrote…

*You have a profound hatred for your redheaded science teacher.

*You pitch a fit when he confiscates your three-tipped highlighter, after you show it to all the other students claiming it has magical powers.

*You look on the signup sheet for foreign language courses, and are bummed out to see that Hylian 101 is not an option.

*You will have nightmares if somebody taps out Bongo Bongo’s drumming beat when you are asleep.

*You are absolutely TERRIFIED of chickens.

*Whenever you have chicken for dinner, you scream “REVENGE! SWEET REVENGE!” and laugh evilly, while the rest of your family wonders what is your problem and where they went wrong.

*You silently thank Nayru, goddess of wisdom, when you pass a math test you didn’t study for.

*The only things you ever hear in a conversation are related to The Legend of Zelda.

*You tell your friends red potion actually does exist…except for it has the weirdest name…Tylenol!

*You mistook Listerine for blue potion…and think it tastes much better than red potion.

*You think that if nobody but your friends can understand you when you speak, you think you are speaking in Hylian.

*You’ve trained your dog to attack any red headed male it sees.

*You have trained your parrot to say “Hey, listen!” when it wants your attention.

*All of your answers on your religion tests have to do with the Triforce.

*You think your zip line is a primitive Hookshot.

*You are too good at whiffleball.

*It took your whiffleball team three hours to explain you are NOT supposed to hit the pitcher.

*You ignore them and hit the pitcher anyway. When you hit him, you run up and attack him with the bat.

*When you are sent to the principal’s office for this, you say, “What? I’m trying to save your sorry butt here from a psycho Gerudo!”

*When you are given detention for said misconduct, you threaten to turn into a wolf and sic the principal.

*The principal tells you the chocolate milk you had at lunch had a special potion in it that doesn’t let you turn into a wolf. (You later realize he’s a Zelda geek too, and he knows EXACTLY how to deal with you.)

*During detention, you “break out” of the “Gerudo Fortress dungeon” (aka Room 208) and go to “rescue Zelda” (otherwise known as your best friend) who just happens to be in the red headed science teacher’s class.

*You are in the science class watching the maniac do this and you think they’re absolutely…normal.

*You wander through a marsh looking for reeds with which to call your horse or a hawk, and wonder why you can’t find any.

*Any time someone is mad at you, you innocently say, “Hey! Well excuuuuuuuse me, _________!” (Fill in the blank.)

*You go to camp and your parents get a call three hours after they drop you off. It’s the camp director. Apparently, some archery gear, a boomerang, a brown camp horse (who bears an uncanny resemblance to Epona) and you are all missing.

*The camp later gets a call from a farmer that lives up the road. Apparently, you attacked his prizewinning pig…

*When forced to pay for veterinary bills for the damaged pig, you shrug and say, “Sure, just give me a few minutes to go shake some trees.”

*You think horses will go faster if you give them carrots.

*You have attempted to race the local stable owner.

*You have gotten every single person you know addicted to The Legend of Zelda, and you call all of them by a Hylian name.

*Driver’s license, schmrivers license. I have a horse that can take me anywhere in a matter of minutes!

*You can’t stand that redheaded fourth grader who lives next door.

*You hate Barney the dinosaur and Batman. A Dinolfo and a Keese, right?

*Your best friend’s phone number is listed as “Hyrule Castle” in your cell phone.

*You refuse to drink anything but red, green, and blue Gatorade and milk.

*You call your rollerblades hover boots.

*You have been Link or Zelda every year for Halloween since your parents bought you your first Legend of Zelda game.

*You forced your little sister to be Navi…and she knew who you were talking about.

*Your neighbor is pregnant, and you suggest that she name the baby Zelda or Link, depending on its gender. She said she was considering both of those names, as well as Colin, Beth, Saria... 

*That same neighbor says something about losing a cradle when she moved, and you immediately start looking for that dang monkey…

*You call your little brother Colin, Talo, or Mido and you call your little sister Saria, Navi, or Midna (depending on what kind of mood you are in that day.)

*You call your best friend Zelda or Link. Even better, they insist on it!

*You freak out whenever you see someone wearing cornrows or curlers.

*Whenever you see the Tootsie Roll Pop commercial with the owl, and the kid asks “Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?” you expect the owl to go on a LOONNNGGGG rant about some theory related to this, the logic behind it, and its need to be tested as opposed to just saying “Let’s find out!”

*You never let cats sit with you while you go fishing.

*You have ever fallen asleep listening to Zelda’s Lullaby. 

*You are sent to the emergency room with a swollen body since you were convinced that eating wasp larvae would improve your overall health, with the explanation that you didn’t have your hawk to knock down the nest and scare the wasps away.

*You think if you wear a blue t shirt, tie cinder blocks to your legs, and jump into the pool at the YMCA, you will not drown.

*You wake up in the hospital and, not remembering how you got there, say, “This is a weird place to warp to…”

*You’ve broken any limb jumping off a building, trying to see if chickens could fly and carry you to another high place.

*Thanks to your many adventures attempting to act like Link, the hospital staff knows you by name, the fact you are addicted to Zelda, and now sends you a Christmas card as a favorite (and infamous) patient.

*You rate scary things on a scale from 1 to the trippy cut scene from Twilight Princess.

*Every spare inch of your final exam for English is covered in Zelda related cartoons.

*Your thesis paper in English concerned why Link never says anything (The acting he had to do in the Zelda cartoon scarred him for life).

*When asked who invented waterslides, magnetic items, the grappling hook, medicine, water wheels, the carnival, and the windmill, you reply “Hylians.”

*You lay awake at night wondering if Epona’s song gets cows to give you milk, if playing something else would get them to give you chocolate milk.

*You are asked your religion on a standardized test, and you have to check “Other” when you see “Whatever religion is in Hyrule” is not an option.

*90% of the memory on your computer is Zelda fanfiction.

*If it doesn’t sound like the Temple of Time, it’s not church.

*You think it’s perfectly acceptable to run through your local cathedral breaking everything with your trusty broom sword, on the grounds you are trying to save the world, duh.

*You attack the priest when he excommunicates you for such irreverence, claiming he is doing the work of Ganon and he WILL rue the day he did such a thing.

*You are especially good at languages…how? You rented a Zelda game in another language. You had the English version memorized anyway.

*You took a computer class just because it uses the word “Link” often.

*You sneak into the drama props closet during break and are sad to learn the masks don’t turn you into something else.

*On a camping trip with your friends, you see a very large full moon and start to walk around, looking terrified, chanting, “Three days…three days…”

*You have a profound hatred of mailmen.

*You instinctively hide whenever male joggers pass by in short shorts, hoping to Din they don’t see you in time to give you your mail.

*You run around at a farm, chasing chickens and hitting them with a stick, wondering why you don’t turn into one.

*You giggle like a schoolgirl whenever you open your math book and spot a triforce.

*You wonder just what it is a certain medicine company is selling…after all, they do have a triforce on their commercial.

*Your friends drive you nuts, since every time they mention Twilight, you think they’re talking about the werewolf Zelda game, not sparkly vampires.

*Your parents have to call the school with a warning every day you manage to wear a dark green, red, or blue shirt to school with a white one under it.

*You ask the lady at the local bar where her cat is since you want to talk to it.

*You were arrested at the local bar not for drunken behavior, but because you attempted to crawl through the vent system, claiming it led to Hyrule Castle.

*You know better than to call every dog you ever meet “Doggie.” It gets really annoying.

*On Halloween, a friend gives you some toasted pumpkin seeds, and you say “Thanks! I needed more ammo for my slingshot!”

*You make a jack o lantern and are shocked to see there are no rupees inside the pumpkin when you crack it open.

*You visit the redwood trees in California and baffle the national park rangers by asking the trees for advice, or money, if they have nothing to say.

*You have angered a local farmer by running around and smashing all his pumpkins, expecting to find money.

*You have fallen out of a tree before, looking for the source of money.

*You honestly believe money grows on trees.

*You think a dollar bill is worth hardly anything-it’s basically a flat green rupee, and not nearly as pretty.

*You are too good at the balloon dart game at the local carnival…especially if the balloons resemble strawberries or other fruits.

*You see a hobo with an afro and ask him for lantern oil, but run screaming if he offers you soup instead.

*Your friends take you bowling, and you wonder why you aren’t using bombs, and why the target is on the floor and shaped like a pyramid, not on the wall and in the shape of a bullseye.

*You have trained your dog to come when you play “Epona’s Song.”

*You outright refuse to play anything on your musical instrument for your parents except for the Zelda Overworld theme.

*Your list of people to shove down the stairs on the Eiffel Tower is as follows: Ganondorf, the creepy mailman from Twilight Princess, your science teacher, and whatever sick wacko created the Water Temple in Ocarina of Time.

*Anger management=frightening random townspeople as a wolf in Twilight Princess.

*You wonder why the goats at the petting zoo are not purple with large horns…

*Your tree house resembles a real house, complete with a bed.

*You have a tennis ball you painted blue and covered in glitter, and you call it Navi and take it everywhere with you.

*If you ever read Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Raven” in class, all you can think of is all those ravens in the field in Twilight Princess and how you’re supposed to shoot them…and thus, they become “Nevermore.”

*You had an epiphany as to why Edgar Allen Poe is so moody in all his writing: as a Poe, he was robbed of his soul, thanks to a particular hero in tights…

*You are wanted by the government as a grave robber.

*You think there is a sword hidden somewhere in your local church, and you sneak out of the service on Sundays to try to find it (this is a different church than the aforementioned one where you wrecked everything, of course)

*You can’t watch “Lord of the Rings” without shouting at Legolas that he’s a “LINK WANNABE!”

*You half expect to walk into Wal-Mart and see people dancing to the Malo Mart music…or, at least, to hear the store music.

*Your ideal job is working at Medieval Times as a knight.

*You are dead certain the gold Buddha downtown at the Chinese restaurant is really a man frozen in gold as punishment for his greed, and wonder why there isn’t a cat on his head…and promise it, on more than one occasion, that you are finding enough Poes for him to be set free.

*You hum the “duh nuh na nuhhh!” theme you hear when you discover something in Zelda whenever you find something you lost in real life.

*Understanding the whole story of Hyrule’s creation and figuring out the messy timeline of the games is something you can handle, but your brain melts when you are asked basic chronology of major events in world history.

*You think it’s perfectly safe to enter random basements in the middle of nowhere, because the old men in them will definitely want to aid you on your quest.

*Your yacht has a red dragon head on the front of it, and you talk to it for advice almost constantly while you are sailing.

*You tell small children you are attempting to save their lives from an evil king, and say it to the point where they believe you and you become responsible for mental therapy.

*You think a whole heck of a lot more would be accomplished if your country had Zelda as queen.

*You wonder that, if Zelda is a princess, where the baklava are her parents in the later games?

*You use the fact Ganon went from a pig to a man over the 20+ years Zelda has been in existence as proof of evolution.

*You think Seymour in “Little Shop of Horrors” is a complete retard for thinking Audrey II wouldn’t eat him…after all Audrey II was a Deku Baba.

*The school knows which English textbooks were yours: all of the stories have the names of main characters whited-out with “Zelda,” “Link,” and “Ganon” written over them in the appropriate places.

*You think kindergarteners are Kokiri and wonder how they managed to leave the forest without dying.

*Thanks to Zelda, you know the definitions of the words doppelganger and benevolence.

*You wonder if your bathroom mirror could take you to the Twilight Realm.

*You never underestimate the helpfulness (or obnoxiousness) of monkeys.

*And, when you die, you tell your friends to make sure your grave is secure so no one can rob you of your hard earned rupees!

You know you've been playing Zelda too much if....... By Indigo

  1. Everybody in your school is a Legend of Zelda fan (and I mean EVERY BODY) and your principal is a Legend of Zelda fan.
  2. You are a Rito fan and you go to school as Komali (if you're a boy) or Medli (if you're a girl) and your girl/boyfriend goes to school as Medli/Komali (if you're a boy or girl).
  3. Everybody in your school likes being called Medli, Komali, Link, Zelda etc.
  4. Your principal likes being called the King of Hyrule.
  5. Poes live in your backyard.
  6. You think Skyler is really Medli in disguise.
  7. She really IS Medli.
  8. You can't stop crying every time you die in WindWaker.
  9. You fall asleep every time you hear Zelda's lullabye.
  10. Scooby-doo is really a wolf Link wannabee.
  11. You think Carumbia Kings are singing about Rito love.
  12. You've done half of these and want to do more!

You know you've been playing Zelda too much if....... By Iansgameroom

  1. You break a stick off a tree, paint it white, and try to control the wind.
  2. You're scared of doors because you don't have the Lens of Truth with you at the moment.
  3. You think your eyeglasses are the Lens of Truth.
  4. When at the beach, you put a pear on your head and eventually expect to see things from a seagulls point-of-view.
  5. Instead of researching at the school library, you spend all your time looking for the Triforce in the World encyclopedias.
  6. When your parents send you to summer camp, they get a call from the hospital 3 hours later and figure out that the first thing you tried to do when you got there was dive to the bottom of the canoeing lake.
  7. After the lake incident, you get back to camp and at sun-rise you steal archery gear and waste a quiver of arrows trying to shoot the sun so you can get Fire Arrows.
  8. You think a sharpened pencil is the Master Sword.
  9. When you get on a city bus, you command the bus driver to take you to Hyrule or else feel the wrath of your sharpened pencil.
  10. You try to talk your orchestra teacher at school to let you playthe song of time at your Christmas concert.
  11. On your 12th birthday, you command a sword and green tunic for you are the chosen one.
  12. You beat Ocarina of Time at least twice a day.
  13. You try to infiltrate you local prison, looking for the Helmeroc Bird.
  14. You have done at least three things on this list.

You've been playing too much Zelda if... By Aleda

  1. You never go near bushes without a shield.
  2. The red haired kid next door has lots of injuries.
  3. You steal a horse from a red haired farmer and yell "I SAVED EPONA FROM GANONDORF!"
  4. You nearly die after jumping into a waterfall.
  5. The game is all screwy after so many plays.
  6. You try to convince your parents to get surgery to make your ears pointy.
  7. You call all your teachers Moblins.
  8. You have Zelda posters everywhere.
  9. You doodle triforces on your hand.
  10. You color your hair with yellow markers.
  11. Your sword has been taken away more then once.
  12. You shove your siblings into the attic, calling it the Evil Realm
  13. You call that pretty red head that sings well Malon.
  14. You've offended all the other red head girls in your class by calling them Gerudos.
  15. Your parents always find you talking to the huge tree in the park.
  16. You're not allowed to go to the park anymore after terrorizing the kids screaming "WHERE IS THE GREEN SPIRITUAL STONE!"
  17. You force to make your friend dye her hair and change her name to Saria.
  18. You call over the cute blonde girl/boy and say "Hey Zelda/Link!"
  19. You think your room is the Sacred Realm.
  20. You plant beans everywhere.
  21. You uproot your mom's garden yelling "Die Deka Babas!
  22. You nearly die drinking blue, red, and green potions you made during Science.
  23. You always talk about Zelda.
  24. You always kill spiders wanting the tokens.
  25. You dig graves up, hoping for prizes.
  26. You jump down wells all the time.
  27. Your parents find your floating unconscious at the lake.
  28. At the lake you were looking for rupees.
  29. You go to the ocean and try to swim in a whale's mouth.
  30. You call the woods by your house "The Lost Woods" because you always get lot there.
  31. Your brother finds you talking to rocks.
  32. All your clothes are green.
  33. You've found a old Santa hat and paint it green.
  34. You collect brown boots.
  35. You always smash jars.
  36. You get in trouble for shooting nuts at your teachers with your slingshot.
  37. You break your arm playing with your Hookshot, which is a rope and a piece of metal tied at the end.
  38. You always dream about Princess Zelda.
  39. You're scared of spiders floating in water.
  40. You catch bugs and let them loose in your house and call them fairies.
  41. You find a white dog and bring it to your neighbors house saying. "I found your dog! Do I get a heart piece now?"
  42. You capture bats, paint them white and blue, and dunk them in the local pool and call them Zoras.
  43. You jump off a cliff with boots with paper wings on it thinking "I'll be OK! The hover boots with save me!"
  44. You memorized how to play the Zelda game.
  45. Your parents think your insane.
  46. You pray to the Goddess all the time.
  47. You set of to find Navi.
  48. You nearly burn to death when you walk into a burning house wearing all red.
  49. You nearly drown in the lake again and your wearing all blue.
  50. You wonder why people don't say the same things over and over.
  51. You steal chickens and jump off stuff, thinking the chicken will float you down safely.
  52. Stop everything and do fishing, archery, horseback riding, and sword fighting.
  53. You cry every time Link dies.
  54. You swear ghosts are real but they are called Poes.
  55. You beat up everyone who badmouths the Zelda games.
  56. You try to read Hylian.
  57. You go by fountains and plays Zelda's Lullaby and wait for the Great Fairy to come.
  58. You shoot arrows at the sun.
  59. You talk to scarecrows and expect them to remember your songs.
  60. You run in cornfields, looking for rupees.
  61. You ram into trees all the time and get multiple bumps and sores on your head.
  62. You tell your mom you have to look for a bottled fairy.
  63. You sneak into the boy's next door's house and dunk all of his clothes in black paint.
  64. You always drink milk 24/7
  65. You go ballistic if you can't play Zelda.
  66. You freeze green, blue, and orange things in ice cubes.
  67. You throw the orange ones at the boy next door and run, thinking flames are behind you.
  68. You shatter your blue ones and think your under Naryu's Love.
  69. You throw the green ones at places you like, hoping to go there at will next time.
  70. You debate on which volcano is Death Mountain.
  71. You go nuts when the people at the store don't take your rupees as money.
  72. You call the 1st grader you hate Mido.
  73. You argue that Dinosaurs exist but they go by the name Dodongos.
  74. You throw flowers at people, thinking they'll blow up.
  75. You try to swim like Link
  76. You talk nonstop about Zelda.
  77. You accidentally hit a chicken with your sword, you drop to your knees and beg forgiveness and ask not to summon other chickens.
  78. You give horses carrots hoping they'll run faster.
  79. You hear someone say their cradle was stolen and you start sees monkeys everywhere.
  80. The hospital knows your name because of your constant visits.
  81. The police knows your name too
  82. You perk up when you hear the word "link" only to be unhappy when you find what they're talking about computers.
  83. Your dad finds your head stuck in the vent after you attempted to go in and find Hyrule Castle.
  84. The farmers know your name because of your constant visits.
  85. When your at their farms you take chickens and destroy their crops hoping to find rupees.
  86. You flip out every time you spell something Zelda-related wrong
  87. You try to train your horse to come when you play Epona's Song
  88. You get your dad to make a tree house like Link's and ask if you can live in it.
  89. You know how to beat every Zelda game but go to pieces over things like writing spellings words.
  90. You hope to meet Zelda
  91. You set off on a quest to find Link and Zelda's parents.
  92. You ram into mirrors, hoping to go to the Twilight Realm.
  93. The neighbors think your a psycho.
  94. You never go outside at night for fear of Stalchildren.
  95. You've been expelled from schools for attacking the principal, calling him a Phantom Ganon.
  96. Your in the news once a month
  97. You only listen to Zelda music.
  98. You call the hobo on the corner with his blond hair braided Sheik.
  99. You put on 3-D glasses and ram into walls, thinking you'll go through them.
  100. You've done everything on this list.

How you know you`ve been playing WAY too much Zelda... By Brianna

  1. You beat the crap out of your dog yelling "OH MY GOD!IT`S A WOLFOS!"
  2. You can`t close your eyes
  3. The couch is moldy
  4. When shopping for a new bathing suit, you tell your parents all you need is a blue tunic
  5. You somehow get a 'blue tunic', tie bricks to your shoes, and jump in a pool, thinking you can beat your friend at a breathing contest
  6. You get eaten by a whale yelling "Don`t worry, Ruto! I`m comin'!"
  7. You wake up in the hospital and tell the doctors"HURRY!GO GET A PINK FAIRY!"
  8. You beat the crap out of your red-headed friend
  9. You grab the blonde, blue-eyed girl at school and run away yelling "DON`T WORRY ZELDA! I`LL SAVE YOU!"
  10. You get slapped often
  11. You draw a giant triforce on your door saying it`s the door of time and won`t go in until you collect your mom`s emerald, ruby, and saphire earrings.
  12. Once you do get to go in your room, you pull a plastic sword from a pile of dirty clothes and fall to the ground, trying to sleep
  13. When you wake up, you hear your mom screaming"WHERE ARE MY EARRINGS!"
  14. You wake up expecting to see Rauru every morning
  15. You tremble every time you see your shadow
  16. You tell every one at twilight that you're going to turn into a wolf soon
  17. You try to put your hand through your mirror, hoping to find Midna in her castle
  18. You dye your hair blonde
  19. You hate anyone who hates green
  20. You wear green ALL the time
  21. You have a teddybear that looks like Link/Zelda and you make out with it every night
  22. When you go to the ranch down the street and ask the red-headed, blue-eyed farmer`s daughter to sing
  23. When you go to church, you expect the priecher to priech about Din, Nayru, and Farore
  24. You steal your teacher`s highlighter and draw the triforce on your left hand
  25. You keep your games in plastic sleeves
  26. You name your horse Epona
  27. Your parents sign you up for therapy

You Know You've Been Playing Too Much Zelda When... By Lizie

  1. You've timed Link running with and without the bunny hood to Prove that he actually runs SO MUCH FASTER with it on.
  2. You have Navi saying "hey!" as your text message alert on your phone.
  3. You've put words to every Ocarina song there is.
  4. You have a firm opinion on which tunic Link looks sexiest in.
  5. You wish you could get a picture of a pirate chick for yourself.
  6. You've tried to catch a Great Fairy in a bottle.
  7. You never have less than five bottles in you item menu (via cheat).
  8. You have read all the Deku Tree cutscenes out loud in a high-pitched, squeaky voice.
  9. When you're scooting over on the couch you make yourself sound like King Zora ("rrrit...rrrit...").
  10. Blue fire is by far the most annoying bottle item in Ocarina of Time.
  11. You ALWAYS cast your line next to the stumps underwater when your fishing, because the biggest fish are ALWAYS there.
  12. The scarecrow song in OOT is one of the time-altering songs from Majora's Mask.
  13. When youre short on money as the adult Link you just go to the Lost Woods and kill a skull kid.
  14. Easiest way to get ANYWHERE? Warp to the Lost Woods. 'Nuff said.
  15. You can win the shooting gallery in Hyrule Town with your eyes closed. Every time.
  16. You never get as far as the Water Temple without the BIGGEST arrow quiver.
  17. Least favorite thing to do: change Link's boots.
  18. You haven't died while fighting a dungeon boss in over three years.

You play WAY to much Zelda if... By Rauru Himself

  1. You think Santa Klaus is really a red Link wannabe.
  2. You talk to people a million times and you get hit in the head and you don't know why.
  3. You go on Ebay and order hover boot replicas, jump off the roof, hit the ground and wonder why you didn't fly!

You know you've been playing too much Zelda when... By Jackie

  1. Your best friend who is a redhead starts looking like Malon.
  2. You sing, or whistle the songs from the games while doing things.
  3. Your dreams are filled with Link, and saving Hyrule.
  4. You run around your backyard with a stick fighting plants and yelling like Link.
  5. You think your parents are dead, and you have like no friends.
  6. You yell at your older siblings, "I WILL END YOU GANON!"
  7. You have been sitting in a chair, or on the floor for hours on end without eating.
  8. You make up your own little stories about Hyrule and think it's real.
  9. Your parents send you to a mental hospital.
  10. You try finding the spirital stones.

You know you've been playing too much Zelda when... By Kaitlin

  1. You come up with Zelda characters for each of your friends.
  2. You insist that the plot of Twilight Princess relates directly to your life.
  3. You refer to yourself as Zelda
  4. You insist that you will one day meet a real life Link and marry him.
  5. You complete class projects revolving around the game.
  6. You claim you can speak Hylian
  7. You wish your Link look-alike wore more green.
  8. You dream you are actually in Zelda.
  9. You can play one or more Zelda songs on an actual instrument.
  10. Your friends think you need a Zeldavention. (Intervention from the game)

You know you've been playing too much Zelda when... By Tasha Null

  1. You have a Triforce sticker on the back of your smartphone
  2. Your notification ringtone on your phone is set to Midna's laugh
  3. Your call ringtone is Saria's Song
  4. Your phone's background is Midna
  5. You're contemplating getting a Zelda chestpiece tattoo
  6. Every person you meet who likes Zelda is instantly your new best friend
  7. You practically foam at the mouth whenever anyone mentions Zelda
  8. You've owned Zelda figurines
  9. You want a Triforce tattoo on the back of your left hand
  10. You're disappointed that you're not a lefty like Link

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