Ladies and gentlemen, I speak to you today in order to explain some unusual and surprising evidence that connects Link the elf-like nutter from the realm of Hyrule with the Timelords from the planet Gallifrey. Now before we go straight to the details, it might be best for me to explain just who and what we are dealing with for those of you who haven't a clue what I'm on about. Link, as I just mentioned, is a hero who is said to be from Hyrule. He is best recognised for his ridiculously long, pointed ears, his green tunic, and his floppy hat, which looks strangely like some sort of nightcap. Timelords are an alien race known for preserving history across the universe, and are well known for their battles against the Daleks. One of the main problems with comparing Link to Timelords is that all of the Timelords are dead, bar one. This last remaining Timelord, known simply as 'The Doctor' was first sighted on Earth around the 1960s, and has been spotted randomly throughout the years since then.
So now we have a better idea with who we are talking about, we can now learn the mysterious secrets of Link that might just prove that he is really a Timelord. Perhaps the most obvious clue is that he can travel through time. In fact, one title the Hyrulians have given him is 'The Hero of Time', showing that his time-travelling has not gone unnoticed. Although most Timelords use a space ship called a TARDIS (short for 'Time And Relative Dimension In Space') for time-travelling, it has been said that Link mainly used musical instruments such as ocarinas and harps instead. This doesn't automatically mean that Link doesn't own a TARDIS, however. These mysterious vehicles have a sort of camouflaging ability in which they change their outer forms to fit in with the place and time period they are in. The Doctor's TARDIS is mostly recognised as a 1950s Police Public Phone Box due to its camouflaging technology not working, but the one in Link's possession should he actually own one might never be noticed because it can hide itself properly.
By now, you're probably saying 'So what if Link can travel through time? That doesn't prove anything! Besides, it's been said before that he's a Hylian, not a Timelord!' And you are right in thinking that. Simply being able to travel through time doesn't mean that Link is a Timelord, and it has been said numerous times that he is a Hylian. But not a lot about his parents has been revealed. How do we know both of them were from whatever planet Hyrule happens to be on? How do we know that one of them wasn't actually from Gallifrey and passed on their Timelord genes to Link? It would certainly explain a lot about what I will be revealing next
Unlike most people, Link has three hearts! If one fails on him, he's got the other two as backup! And it has even been reported that he can have as many as twenty hearts beating inside at once! Even normal Timelords only have two hearts, meaning that Link is something very special indeed. Most people in Hyrule can't seem to last long in a tense battle, but Link is able to pull through by just having this unusual number of hearts. He could be slashed by claws, zapped by lasers, or even set on fire, and he would still be able to keep going even if only a few hearts are working!
But what if he does die? Well, many people have noted that Link commonly uses fairy magic to bring himself back to life if all of his hearts do pack up, but Timelords also have another trick up their sleeves they use to cheat death. They regenerate into a new form. Ever since the first sighting, the Doctor has been seen in no fewer than ten different forms, usually bearing an uncanny resemblance to some great British actor. Has Link ever regenerated? If you care to observe various images of the 'Hero of Time', you may notice that there are differences between the various representations of the hero, showing that he has regenerated a fair few times. One thing that seems rather unusual about Link's different forms is the jump between child and teenager, almost adult. This could be a result of one of two things. Either it is a clue to his age period when compared to other Timelords (in this case, he's more or less a child, but approaching teenage/adulthood), or it could be a freak result of his mixed Timelord/Hylian genes. It may also be worth noting that unlike the Doctor, whose various forms look very different to one another, Link's forms sometimes share one or two similarities in appearance to each other, making him a bit more easily recognisable than the Doctor. Again, this could be a result of his mutant genes, or perhaps it's simply because Link hardly ever changes his outfit, making his clothes more recognisable than the hero himself! One of the most bizarre details about Link's regeneration abilities is the mysterious amnesia he seems to develop soon afterwards. Whenever he finds himself setting off on a new adventure, he has to re-learn everything he originally knew and loses all those handy little tools he equipped during his previous adventures. This could be the ultimate proof that Timelord and Hylian DNA should never mix, or maybe there is a larger force at work, but I will get to that later.
Another strange thing about Link's travels and adventures is worth considering; even though they have been written down and taught among the Hyrulian people, Link is never recognised for the hero that he is expect for a few instances outside of Hyrule. The stories of Link's adventures appear to be seen as just that, stories. Mere myths that no one is willing to believe, or truly take seriously, even when the green-clothed hero is wandering around saving the world from some disaster. In the case of the Doctor, even though his travels have occasionally been recorded over the years, only a few conspiracy nuts ever take notice and believe them. It seems as though Link is given the same alien treatment in Hyrule.
Remember when I suggested that some of the situations Link has been in could have been the work of a larger force? During the most recently reported sightings this year, the Doctor found himself caught in the intricate web of a power known only as 'Bad Wolf'. Those two words literally followed him throughout his travels until the force finally revealed itself and helped bring an end to the onslaught of Daleks preparing to attack the Earth. It has been said that Link transforms into a wolf during the recent recording of his adventures. Is this a physical clue of what to expect? Is the power of 'Bad Wolf' now turning its attention towards Hyrule and the only other remaining Timelord? Like the Doctor and his enemies, the Daleks, Link has found himself encountering a powerful dark sorcerer named Ganondorf time and time again. Maybe one day, 'Bad Wolf' will manifest itself once again just when it's needed the most.
So there you have it, a small, yet startling, selection of evidence that points the Hylian hero, Link, towards being a Timelord. I hope you have enjoyed this bizarre little interpretation as much as I have had writing it!
Link, Hyrule, Hylians, and Ganondorf are copyright Nintendo. The Doctor, Gallifrey, Daleks, the TARDIS, and Timelords are copyright the BBC. Please also note that this piece was written for humorous purposes only, and should not be taken seriously. Any questions or comments you have can be emailed to me (FireHawk/Chezza) at chezhawkwolf@googlemail.com.
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