Well, where should I start. Most people think Link is the hero, who goes though ages and ages to defeat Gannon and rescue the princess Zelda. Or fights to restore the Triforce.
Well, lemme sit down, and tell you the story that really happened. Yes,the saying "Listen to your elders" is quite correct. Here goes:
I was walking on a, bright day. Yes, I was young then. Strong, daring, heroic. If your thinking I'm that fool Link, you're quite wrong. I'm Gannondorf, yes. The ugly pig, the thief, many call me that, but most don't get it straight.
As I was saying, I was walking on a trail though Midwood Forest. I was planning to leave home in search of a wealthy job at Kari Village. I'm not all too bright, but I had high hopes.
So I was off, with rations to last about three days, and a small short sword. I rather enjoyed my independence. Anyway, It took me a while to arrive at the village.
On my way in, I noticed a small little elf, scratching his nose. I bent over and said "What a cutie," and the little bugger grabbed my nose and twisted. Not even 4 years old the lad!
Anyway, I was mad. I stormed off, shoving through the people and into a small pub.
When I entered, there were many loud cries from drunked figures.
Discusting if you ask me! And I just walked right back out, yes. I then approached the inn, it looked like a cheerful place. When I walked in, the clerk was fast asleep! I had to wake him up, and he cried, "The Nerve of you!"
So, discusted once again, I stormed out and hit the alleys. I knew my mother wouldn't approve of the way I was acting, but I figured out what life was really like.
So I began thieving for the following years. Some times I hit big, some times I even got caught. But I was good, really good.
One day though, a stranger I heard was in town. He was tall. He was dark. He had the power. Rumors, and I needed to find out if this was a fool or the real thing.
I approached the pub I heard he was in, and found him in the corner.
"Good day sir," I said, "How'v ya' been lately?"
He said nothing.
"Sir, if you're not going to talk to me, I'm gonna have to kick yer'sorry little arse."
Strong words for a small man like me heh?
Well, he chuckled. I shivered and turned away.
I turned around. His voice was like plasmatic waves flowing though my body.
"You're a fiesty little one aren't ya?"
"Yes, sir. I enjoy my work."
"Well, you'll be in use for me. I've got a job for you. You've noticed the Hyrulian Castle haven't you?"
"Well, yes of course. Why?"
"They've got something of mine in there, I want is back. But I'm not allowed in there."
"What makes you think that I'll do anything?"
"Two reasons. One, I'll kill you if you don't.
"And two, I'll teach you black arts, great magics you've only heard in folk tales."
"Well, what have ya' want me to do?"
"There's a very large golden triangle in there that I want. With it, I can give you anything you want."
"I'll do it. But why can't you go and get it yerself?"
"Let's say, I'm not permitted"
So he taught me many things. About how to form the evil magics, and bring the devestating forces of hell upon my foes. Ha! The things he taught me.
So after about one month of studying, he said "Do it."
I was startled, but I knew what I had to do.
Using the useful knownledge he taught me, and my abilities in thieving, I went up the bridge. The guards were easy, I blew them up into pieces with my ball of fire. An arm here, a leg there. Funny though, no one else came. I guess they didn't hear it.
So with my invisibility on, and other useful spells, I went up, casting spell after spell, eliminating knight after guard after knight. After about six flights of stairs, I was where I needed to be.
There was the triforce, in all her glory. Shining, glowing. I wondered what that large light was from above. The things I can do with that... I thought.
At first I had difficulties taking it. IT made extremely loud humming noices when I approached, but after a while, I got used to it. I put it in my sack of carrying, and climbed out the window.
Getting down was even harder than going up.
I fell down a couple a flights, and after casting dark healing, I was near normal.
On my way down, I thought of many things. The way the world would be. The power in my bag. Many things.
When I came to the bridge, there was that same elf I saw on my way in. He just stood there. I mounted my horse, and he glared at me.
"Out of the way," I said in my enhanced voice.
He quickly lept out, and I continued with my escape.
The thing I have to tell you is, I never really returned the triforce to him. I just kept it. I got my ass outta there as fast as I could.
Many years passed, I used the triforce to create my own land, the dark land. After I escaped from the castle, I opened the bag. It was there, but when I looked up, there were mountains that reached the clouds surrounding me. I wasn't in Hyrule anymore, was I.
It was the Golden land I was in, the land where the gods dwelt while they created Hyrule. I was facinated. But, greedy at the same time.
I twisted the world so it would please me. And created seven powerful sons for myself.
I taught them my ways, they enjoyed it, I think.
One day though, while I was playing with my triangles, it made that humming noice again. It became so loud, I just passed out. I changed. My whole form changed. I changed into a very large, ugly wart face pig. I was horrid.
My sons, looking at their father in disbeleif, took my triangles, and rebelled. They locked me in my world. And sealed the gate between Hyrule and the Dark Lands.
Many years from then passed, I grew and created my own species, and made large monsters to be my generals.
I had not many troubles, except every night I couldn't sleep. I'd hear that humming noice, and I'd crave the Triforce.
I didn't know what was happening in Hyrule, I didn't really care what was happening here. I wanted the power I once wielded. I craved it...I want it...
From many hours of labouring, I finally created and mastered a spell of my own. It allowed me to communicate with others from Hyrule. I searched and searched the minds of them. Until I found one near worthy. I told him of my powers, I told him I'd teach him them.
Of course who wouldn't agree to my temptation.
I taught him many things over my mind to his. And he was ready.
I got him to get my son's descending daughters, and he sent them all into my world.
He took over the castle, and all of Hyrule. He listened to me. But there were problems. There was some village hero slaying all of my sorceror's men. And he said he was having problems himself.
I ordered him to hurry up, and he did. He opened my portal. I went through, and took my triforce, and began to feed my world.
I heard the rumors though. My sorceror had retreated into my world, where I killed him. Link was the word I got out from him. The Elf Warrior. Bah!
I had more important things to worry about. Ohhhh...The Triforce. But he came. He defeated one by one my generals. I was very upset of him. I threw the princess Zelda into my portal, and awaited him. He came, of course. I was ready.
I threw him thunderbolts from my fingertips, fireballs from my hands, lasers from my eyes. He fought well, but not well enough. I nearly defeated him, but I left him in the corner for a while. Something disturbed me.
You know those feeling of Deja Vu? Well, I felt one of those, really hard. That humming sound was coming now. And I felt that presence once again. It was him.
It came out of the shadows, armed with darkness. It stroke me. I was stunned.
"See yourself in your deepness." I looked, and saw that once young face, a small little thief. Pity. Thats all I though of. I fled. I ran. The cursed elf of course, took my triangles. I crave it once more.
Thanks for listening to my tale, please, donate a coin or two for my tale, lads. I've had a hard life.
Back to Story Menu