Saria's Law

By James Stafford



Saria yawned loudly and fell back in her warm bed. She was tired after a day of running from Mido.

Mido was trying to slash her face up while having a Black Rage.

She immediately fell asleep. She didn't even feel her head hit the pillow.

Then it happened.

Part 1: A thought that could alter the past, present and future

Saria was in a room. Surrounded by little squares with metal pieces of string attached to them. The Squares had moving pictures on them. There, on the Square was a hooded person, painting on a statue of Link. She looked at more Squares. There was someone taking apart a cart with no horse. There was also a square stating: Hyrule, 6th of June, 2096

Saria sat bolt upright. She awoke from her dream. She remembered the dream. It was morning. She got a pen. She paper. She got thinking.

She wrote down this:
All shall obey this law whoever comes to Hyrule, whoever is in Hyrule.
1: No one will deface property.
2: No one will steal people's possessions
3: EVERYONE will listen to Franz Ferdinand's Take Me Out. (I can dream can't I?)
4: Dictatorship is illegal.
5: People have the right to vote and speak openly.
6: Anybody whose name is Mido or wish to hack people's face's into fourteen different pieces and boil them in hot garlic butter and stew in a pot of Hydrochloric acid and cover the half dissolved carcass red ants and videotape the whole thing for internet broadcasting, the person will be disposed of by the procedure above.
7: All shall obey Saria.


It was done. Saria's law was completed. Now to get it signed by someone important....

Saria got her backpack, filled it with a bottle of water, a bit of bread, a CD player and a CD of Take Me Out, a pen and finally the contract.

Part Two: The contract gets signed.

"Hey Link!!!" Saria called up to Link's house, while rocking her head to the beat of Take Me Out.
Mido stared down from Link's treehouse. Covered in blood. Mido threw Link's wounded body out of his window.
"Link!?!?!? What in the hell happened?" Saria asked as she helped Link up.
Link started to cry.
"Come on. I've ferdinand?" Saria said with a bit of hope.
But Link just stopped and had an idea.
"Really?" Link said, with a trickle of blood running down his nose
Link snatched the CD player and switched it to loud. He went into his house and Saria head a screech of pain and agony. Loud but satisfying. Link jumped down from his house.
"You called?" Link said to Saria.
"I need to go down to Hyrule castle." Saria said.
"But you would die!"
"That can be avoided." Saria said, walking towards the exit.
"How?" Link asked.

"This a story. Anything can happen." Saria said.

So the happy Kokori's walked towards the castle, talking, drinking, eating... Listening to Franz Ferdinand..... They looked like they were together. As in, boyfriend and girlfriend. Technically speaking, they were because Link happened to be a boy and Saria happened to be a girl so Link had a girl friend and Saria had a boy friend. Eh, over with that now.

(I am going to skip the bit about getting into the castle and all.)

Saria stepped into the courtyard.
"Holy crap, someone get the air freshener, it smells like a gents in here!" Saria Whispered to Link.
"You can tell its sports day today." Link whispered back.
"Oh hi Link. Link who's your........ friend?" Zelda said, throwing a malevolent look at Saria.
"Please Princess, sign this paper!" Saria pleaded.

Zelda didn't even look at it. She signed the contract and then...

Part 3: Saria Corp.

Everyone in Hyrule Changed. It turned from 1400 to 2096 and Saria's face was everywhere.
Technology. Cars. Faces. Loudspeakers.

Saria was now plugged into a strange device (Stop sniggering you pervert.) That fed her mind into everyone and everything. It was now illegal to keep comics in plastic bags and never read them. Saria was now not a Human, but a thing. A Machine of organic life. 75% of Saria's body was now Mineral. Now her own body was the heart of Saria Corp. The Company that owns you.


I cant really think how it ends so you will have to think up one.

If you actually wrote an ending, Send it to:


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