email: NoMan 'at' sbcglobal.net

 

This was intended to be a radio program based on the videogame series The Legend of Zelda.  The presentation is set up so that we hear the ambient sounds as the characters speak, as they perform actions, or when the narrator is speaking.  The story is original, but is intended to contain almost every cliché that exists in the series.  This was written in the year 2001, shortly after Oracle of Ages and Oracle of Seasons was released and has been unmodified from its original version except to convert it into HTML from MS Word.

 

NOTABLE CHARACTERS:

 

Rinku:              (Male)  Rinku is a mercenary and the narrator of this epic quest.  As the narrator, he is much older and has gained a good perspective of the adventure he once had.  Rinku, in his youth (played by a different actor), is running headfirst into a quest he doesn’t understand.

Jonesi:             (Male)  He is a few years younger than Rinku and a member of the mercenary fighting unit that raised them.  Fighting comes easy to him and he can be tricky, which is in part why he wears a fox’s tail on his belt in battle.

Piaba:              (Male)  The oldest of Rinku and Jonesi, Piaba is a reliable friend.  Wearing a wolf’s tail into battle and having a long, black ponytail, he is steadfast and fierce.

Zelda:              (Female)  She is the Princess of Hyrule.  Worrying what is best for her kingdom and for others, she is willing to put even her own life on the line to do what is right.  But due to political restraints, she secretly has Rinku do her bidding.

Leon:               (Male)  Leon is the Captain of the Guards of Hyrule and a descendant of the heroic Knights.  He is also rumored not only to be the descendant of the Legendary Hero of Hyrule, but also to actually be the Hero incarnate.  Like Zelda, Leon was born with the kingdom crest on the back of his hand.

Tingle:             (Female)  Tingle is a forest fairy who follows Rinku around.  She is always happy and will give Rinku a lead to follow.  However, because nobody believes in fairies anymore, she can not be seen or heard.

King:                The stern ruler of everything.  After he was rescued from a hostage situation, he became overly protective of the Triforce until it disappeared.  He is important, but rarely seen.

 

 

OTHER CHARACTERS

 

Old Man (M), Weno (M), Garee (M), Mercenary (M), Woman (F), Gruff Man (M), Lalana (F), Elder (M), Kid 1, 2 (?), Guard 1, 2, 3 (M), Raft Clerk (?), Old Lady (F), Zora Elder (F), Zora Elders 1-3 (?), Wounded Zora (?), Tipsy (M), Turvey (F), Kaepora (F), Lanrette (M), Person 1 (?), Person 2 (?), Iron Man (previously mentioned character, sex unknown).

 

CHAPTER ONE

 

Narrator:          I seem to have the same dream every single night.  Dreams have always been something that has been a part of my life.  Currently, my dreams are filled with images of the past.  When I was younger, I had dreams of the present.  But what started it all, way before anything happened, was when I had dreams of the future. 

                        Please, allow me to start from the beginning.  As a boy, I had a strange reoccurring dream, a different vision than the one that now haunts my slumbers.  I never was one to believe in dreams; I was taught that they were only a figment of my imagination, nothing to pay heed to.  But when it repeats, every night, it is a little hard to ignore!

                        I would find myself in a strangely familiar land, one I had never seen, and people around me are having a great celebration.  But I can see past their happiness, they fear for their lives.  I am foreign to them, so I creep behind the crowd, I long to escape.  I scale a wall, and find myself in a courtyard where I see a woman.  She is a few years my elder, but the most beautiful you will ever see.  She gives me a favor of hers just as the gray clouds that hung over the festival broke, sending rain pouring down.  The rain was so hard that it began to shred trees, castle walls, and the ground.  I can’t see anything, but I am in pain.  I hear screams.  Too afraid to see what will happen next, I wake up. . .

                        Confused, I finally went to the old wise man to help explain it to me.  And that is when things began to change.

 

Old Man:          What’s this?  A dream?  Come now, you should know better than that.  They simply are just products of your imagination running around.  Just enjoy them.  When you get to be my age, it is one of the few things you still CAN enjoy.  You can’t poop, you can’t see, you can’t have sex, you can’t fight . . . the only thing you can do to enjoy yourself is dream.

Narrator:          (A younger voice this time; he IS younger...this is a flashback)  But these dreams bother me.  How can I enjoy a dream where everything is being destroyed?  It is so real!

Old Man:          So is my dream where I can fly.  But it isn’t real.  If you don’t stop worrying, you will never succeed.  Now, get your ass out of my tent and into armor.  Get practicing soon.  We are going to be picking up camp in a few days.

Narrator:          Really?  (As he is opening tent flap).  Where are we going this time?  I thought we were going to rest from the last war we fought.

Old Man:          Rest?  Why do you think we spent the past week here, this IS our rest.  We need money.  We get it by fighting.  Sit around doing nothing and we go broke.  And when there is a war as big as where we are going, one side is going to pay top dollar for our services.

Narrator:          (frustrated)  Spare me the explanation.  I grew up as a mercenary.  I’ve been with you guys for as long as I can remember.  Just tell me where we are going.

Old Man:          Some small, hole-in-the-wall country.  I forget the name, which is a shame considering that I lived there for a few months.  All I recall is that it split in two when one side turned against the crown all for possession of some jewel.  This war has been tough for both sides.  Shoot.  I can’t remember the name.

Narrator:          You’re right.  Being old is hell.  I’m sure you’ll remember.  (pause)  Well, I’ll see you later, old man.  (Leaves)

Old Man:          Hey, I am only 43!  That’s old for our business!  You’ll be lucky to live past 20 years of age, Rinku!  (Pause)  And I remember where we are going…some place called Hyrule!  …I think...

 

Narrator:          (Older; from hence forth the young narrator will be referred to as “Rinku” and the voice in retrospect will be simply “Narrator.”  Though they are the same person, a different person will play each part.)  Well, I would live past 20.  That was the old man’s idea of a joke.  In that line of business, you are surrounded by death so much that to joke about yours or someone else’s demise was a way to cope.

                        But I digress; I left the tent that day to begin my daily practice.  I put on my armor, grabbed my whalebone sword, used only for practice, and my shield and went to find the nearest friend to whack.

                        That day it was Jonesi.  Jonesi was an interesting character.  About two years my younger, he had more skill than I.  We both used sword and board, a slang term for sword and shield, and within a few minutes of fighting, he had “killed” me, meaning that if it were a real fight, I would have lost my life.

 

Jonesi:             Rinku, you did pretty good that time, but…well, I don’t now how to phrase this because I’m not a teacher, but I just keep killing you.  Perhaps you are thinking too much.

 

Narrator:          Heh, think too much…  Sure.  I do that.

 

Rinku:              Let’s go again, then.  (Friendly, of course…after all, they aren’t using real swords)  I’ll kill you one of these days.

Jonesi:             (mocking) “One of these days?”  Rinku, please!  You’ve been fighting me for how long and have been slain every time?  But… if you are willing to still go at it, I’ll be willing to oblige.  Ready?

Rinku:              Ready.

Jonesi:             Then bring it on.

 

Narrator:          I lost again.  But that didn’t mean that I was without skill, it just wasn’t clicking yet.  After all, I grew up with the mercenaries, I had been in a few battles, and I didn’t lose every fight with Jonesi.

                        I spent the rest of that day goofing off and fighting my friends.  It didn’t matter who killed who, or how many times, we were just having fun.  And that is what made our mercenary group different than any other fighting unit in all the kingdoms.  So long as we gave a good fight and died happy, we fought a good war regardless of if we won or not.  We were taught to not fear death and to enjoy life because death could come with every battle.

                        Soon night came and I was again in bed, ready to fall asleep and experience my dream as usual.  Rather, that night, no dream came.  I imagine that the slumber I had that night was like death: a dark, empty void.  The only thing that stirred me from that void was a companion gently kicking me, telling me to get up and pack.  We were leaving.

 

 

CHAPTER TWO

 

Narrator:          In that one day’s travel, my group soon set foot on Hylian soil.  Two parties set off ahead of time to announce to both warring sides that we were arriving and would offer our services to the highest bidder.  Neither group had returned, so two more groups set off.  I was in the group that was elected to visit the monarchy of the land.  We strapped on our armor, sheathed our weapons, and with helm under arm, we set off.

                        I was in a haze that day; I could have sworn that I was still asleep because the scene that surrounded me was the same I saw in my dreams.  This new, empty land seemed familiar to me.  As we hiked, I turned to one of my companions,

 

(The group is walking the path before them.  Their footsteps can be heard.)

Rinku:              Hey, Piaba, have you noticed that the towns we are passing are empty?  …that nobody is in the fields?

Piaba:              I suppose.  The war in this land has damaged most of the commerce and trades in this land.  The people are probably hiding. 

Rinku:              (Unsure)  Well…  That makes sense, but, do you think that perhaps that they’re at a party?

Piaba:              (Laughs)  I’d enjoy that just as much as you, ya party animal!  But think about it: these people are being slaughtered by what used to be their guardian army.  They need to conserve resources to survive.  No way would they waste it on a fiesta of any sort.

Jonesi:             (Running up behind the two)  Hey, was Rinku talking about a party?

Piaba:              Yeah.

Rinku               Well, it would be nice.

Jonesi:             (Joking)  It would also be nice if the side that hires us pays us in whores!  That would be the best payment for fighting I ever would receive.

Rinku:              (Joking)  Yeah, because you couldn’t get any without paying first.

 

Narrator:          The conversation continued like that as we hiked toward Hyrule Castle.  With our strong love of fighting and the way we joked to each other, it is no wonder we had the reputation for being a crude, unruly band of mercenaries.

                        But our perverted conversation came to a quick halt when we arrived at the castle.  We explained ourselves to the guards who reluctantly let us inside.  They obviously had heard of us.  Our reputation preceded us, either that or the group that came before us made asses of themselves, which wouldn’t surprise you if you knew us.

 

Guard 3:          You may enter, but only one of you may speak with the royalty.  The rest of you dogs must stay outside of the keep.

 

Narrator:          That “dogs” comment didn’t phase us.  We DID fight with an animal tail hanging from our belts.  Jonesi wore a fox's tail, Piaba wore a wolf’s tail, and I, as a complete practical joke, wore a rabbit’s tail in battle.  Besides, we kinda took pride being like a pack.  As we entered the castle, we made jokes of who was the most dog-like.  The guard seemed disgusted that we were so keen to insult each other.

 

Piaba:              So, Weno, if you get married and have children, can I have a puppy?

Weno:             Calm down.  Remember, only one of us can enter the castle.  We should decide whom.  I nominate Jonesi, he’s the only one who can fit through the doggy-door…

Rinku:              Size doesn’t matter, we need someone who can speak dog to their princess!  Piaba is the perfect choice.

Jonesi:             I second that!  I hear that this princess is a true bitch.  Takes a true dog to speak to a true dog.

Weno:             And less you forget that I am top dog here.  Being in charge, I will speak to their royalty.  Anyone disagree?

Piaba:              Nope, just be careful not to scratch your fleas while in the presence of their crown.  It’ll make them nervous.

Mercenary:      Hey guys!  You won’t believe this!  Rinku was right, there is a festival going on!

Weno:             Rinku?  Being right?  That IS hard to believe!  Shoot.  I’m gonna miss the fun.  Now I regret being the one to go inside. 

 

Narrator:          We all were in disbelief.  In the middle of a war that had destroyed the land, a grand carnival was being held inside the castle walls.  People were cheering, laughing, and having fun.  But the threat of an attack was on their minds.  They couldn’t hide their fear.  The festival was intended to improve moral of the peasants, workers,  and knights.  But just as it was in my dream, I knew that their laughter wouldn’t last for long.

                        I was taught that death could come at any minute so I should enjoy a good time whenever I can.  So, my companions and I spent the next long hours mingling with the Hylian people.  We stuck out like sore thumbs, having not bathed longer than anyone else, being in blood-stained armor with an animal tail hanging from our belts, carrying weapons, shields, and a helmet, and not having those pointy ears of theirs.

 

(Noise is in the background as people sing, laugh, play games and other party things.)

Piaba:              (To his companions)  Jonesi, Rinku, you have to try these tarts!  It’s way better than that gruel we have to eat in camp.  Plus, because they’re in wartime, it’s cheap as dirt!

Jonesi:             Piaba, I help fix that gruel, mind you me!  Would you rather starve?

Piaba:              I’d rather that someone other than you contaminate my food.  Like Radia.  Ah, she could serve me any day.

Rinku:              Speaking of Radia, she was in the group that came to the castle before we did, right?  So how come none of us have seen them?

Jonesi:             Let’s ask…  Um, you!  Yeah, have you seen a group of armored folk like us roaming around?

Peasant:          Mercenaries.  Humph.  Taking advantage of Hyrule are you?  Sure, you enjoy our carnival now, but if the Knights pay you off, you’d be slaying us all now.  I spit on you (spiting sound).

Rinku:              Sure, but have you spit on any others of us recently?

Peasant:          I would hope not.  You make me want to vomit.

Rinku:              That sure was friendly.  Let’s ask someone else.

Piaba:              Ma’am, have you seen any others like us around here?

Woman:          (Scared)  I know nothing.

Piaba:              Hmm…  Perhaps we should ask a castle guard?

Jonesi:             That guy wiping his hands over there looks pretty fancy in the metal armor.  All the other guards I saw wore simply leather.

Rinku:              (Shouting)  Hey!  Guard!  Question over here!

Jonesi:             Here he comes.

Guard(Leon):   Yes?  What may I do for you (pause) …you foreigners.

Piaba:              Have you seen anyone else like us?  We sent a group several hours ago to speak to the King and they never returned.  We are here to follow up on them.

Guard(Leon):   I haven’t heard of any such thing.  Now if you will excuse me, I am in a hurry.

Rinku:              Well, he’s gone.  That was no help.  (Changing tone)  You guys can wait for Weno.  I am tired of being here.  It’s a bit hard to enjoy yourself when you know you aren’t wanted.  I’m going to return to camp.

Piaba:              Your loss, pal.  Cheap food and entertainment.  You won’t find that at camp.

Jonesi:             Besides, I tried to leave the castle about an hour ago.  I was told that it is too late in the day to allow guests of the castle leave.  Not even the peasants can go.  Rinku, you’re stuck here..

Rinku:              Well, I’ll just find my way out.

(End crowd noises.)

 

Narrator:          It wasn’t the feeling of being not wanted that made me want to leave the castle, it was the feeling of de-ja-vu.  Everything was playing out too similar to what I saw in my dream.  The sooner I could get to camp, the sooner I could prevent the dream from being lived out in my waking hours.

                        Not knowing where anything was located in the castle, I followed my inner voice to find a spot where no one was looking and I then took the pains of scaling the castle wall.  As I climbed, the voice told me where to place my hand and feet.  I realized that it wasn’t the voice that my thoughts normally sound like when I think.

                        When I noticed that, I realized that I was on the other side of the wall.  But rather than being outside of the castle, I was within the inner wall.  It was a garden of some sort.  It was a lovely garden, so well kept, that I knew that only royalty would be allowed here.  But it was so incredible that I could not bear to leave.  I simply dropped my helmet and shield to the grass and stared.  Slowly coming to terms with where I was, I dared to walk in the garden as the long evening shadows were cast against the red-lit walls from the setting sun.

                        Fireflies began to appear slowly.  They were out of season seeing that it was mid autumn.  I walked in a trance, not myself until I felt myself hit something soft.  I had just knocked someone to the ground without looking.  Obviously, neither of us had been watching where we were walking.  My first instinct was to run from the forbidden garden, but I was stopped.

 

Female:           Wait, don’t run.  Could you help me up?

 

Narrator:          In my heavy armor, when we walked into each other, she simply fell right over.  Feeling guilty, I extended my hand to help her up.  I saw her face.  She was so gorgeous, exactly like the woman in my dreams.  I was almost afraid that by simply being with her, the rest of my dream would come true.  But a mercenary can’t show fear at a time like this.

 

Female:           Thanks.  (Pause)  You’re another mercenary, aren’t you?

Rinku:              Um…yes.

Female:           I just finished speaking to one.  Do you know a “Weno?”

Rinku:              Yeah.  I came to the castle with him earlier today to speak to the King.  You know, to see if he could use our services.  I am pretty sure he is still in the castle speaking to the royalty.

Female:           He is.  But it is no longer about whether or not Hyrule needs mercenaries.  It is about whether or not you and your . . . kind . . . can stay in the castle for the night.  We have gone into lockdown for the evening and we don’t want to open our gates perchance that we might be attacked.

Rinku:              So, the Royalty doesn't want us?  Interesting.

Female:           Not so, I could use you.

Rinku:              (Confused) What?

Female:           I am a member of the Royal Family of Hyrule.  I believe that we could use all of the help that we can get.  RELIABLE help.  I am afraid that with all the corruption that has gone on in the past few years, outside help is exactly what we need.  But my father disagrees.  Sometimes I don’t understand him.

Rinku:              Is your father on the Royal Court?

Female:           (Laughing, despite the grim situation of her country)  On the Royal Court?  No, no.  My father is King.

Rinku:              . . .

Female:           Yes, you just assaulted the Princess of Hyrule.  My name is Zelda.

Rinku:              (Nervously)  Ah… hehe…

Zelda:              It’s all right.  Like I said, I could use your help.  I somehow could tell that you were coming.  (Throwing in a quick joke) I just didn’t see you coming.  (Pause for a laugh that doesn’t come, so she continues)  Yes, well, do you know anything about this war?  And, what is your name?

Rinku:              Rinku.

Zelda:              Rinku…  It sounds familiar, kinda like the bedtime stories my brother and I were told as a little children about a hero named Link who saved the lovely Princess Zelda.

Rinku:              Another Princess Zelda?

Zelda:              Oh, yes.  It is a law that all firstborn females be named Zelda.  But that is a long story in and of itself.  It makes it so that when someone yells out, “Zelda!” in a crowded room, almost every girl looks up.

Rinku:              (Slight laugh.)

Zelda:              (Feeling a little better)  Well, Rinku, this war started a few years ago, after Hyrule’s northern provinces broke away.  As with all major feuds, it is about power control.

Rinku:              I thought it was about some jewel.

Zelda:              Then you think wrong.  That “jewel” is a tremendous power source in this kingdom.  I was fearful that someone was trying to steal it as well as the throne.  My fears were proven when one night, three years ago, the Triforce went missing.

Rinku:              Triforce?

Zelda:              The, um, “jewel” as you put it.  The Triforce is made up of three triangular pieces, each symbolizing the gods that created Hyrule.  Instantly, upon it’s being stolen, fingers began being pointed.  The Knights of Hyrule accused the Crown of taking it out of greed.  The Crown accused the Knights of taking it so that they could have power and overthrow the monarchy.  And the split has divided Hyrule ever since.

Rinku:              So each side accuses the other for having this “Triforce” but no one can prove it?  No one knows who has it?

Zelda:              Exactly.  So, having an outside party who has chosen no sides find out who stole it would be a great help.

Rinku:              But I am not a detective.  All I do is fight.

Zelda:              Exactly.  You see, I know where the Triforce is.  The only problem is that it is heavily guarded.  It is also separated into three pieces so…

Rinku:              If you know where it is, then why don’t you tell your father?

Zelda:              I’m not finished yet!

Rinku:              Sorry.

Zelda:              As I was going to say, was that if a third party finds it and declares that neither side took it, it will help unify the country.  But if a Knight finds it, they will be accused of stealing it.  If a Royal finds it, they will be accused of stealing it.

Rinku:              So who DID steal it?  If you know where it is, would you also know who took it?

Zelda:              (Pause)  Yes.  But it was done because somebody was going to steal it and use it for evil.  So rather than wait for the worst to happen, I stole . . . I , um, had somebody steal the Triforce for me to keep it out of harm’s way.  And now it is time to have somebody bring it back.

Rinku:              So if I do bring it back, people are going to ask who took it.  What do I say?

Zelda:              Good question.  My best answer would be to say that Ganon took it.

 

Narrator:          A shiver went down my spine.  Was someone walking on my grave?  It sure felt like it at that moment.

 

Rinku:              Ganon?  Who is that?

Zelda:              Nobody really.  Like “Link,” he is a character in legends of old.  Whenever something bad happens, we blame Ganon.  But nobody believes in him anymore.

Rinku:              Then why blame it on him?

Zelda:              Do you like interrupting me?

Rinku:              Well excuse me, Princess…

Zelda:              While nobody sane believes in Ganon, there is a fringe group that warships Ganon.  They are a group of monsters, inhuman beasts, that always try to harm innocent people.  That and the fact that somehow they discovered where I had the Triforce hidden and are trying to steal it.

Rinku:              So when you say that the Triforce is guarded, you mean that cult of Ganon is trying to take it and I have to fight them.  And since I have to fight them anyway, they would make a great scapegoat for your mistake of taking the Triforce to begin with.

Zelda:              It was not a mistake.  Someone evil on one of the two sides is trying to get it.  But we mustn’t allow the cult to get it first.  I would do it myself, but there are rules about Princesses leaving the castle.

 

Narrator:          I could tell that she was sincere.  She needed somebody to fight her fight in her stead.  She seemed perfectly willing to go out and fight herself, but she couldn’t.  She needed me.  And I felt somehow connected to her; after all, I had dreamt about her and this meeting for the past few years.  I instantly knew that I would help her.

                        I stood there, however, not saying a word.  I was lost in the moment.  The sun had almost completely vanished from the sky, but the remaining rays of red light turned the Princess’ golden hair a dark amber color.  The fireflies danced around as a few leaves fell from the overhead tree.  I was lost in her beauty.

 

Zelda:              I know that there is a lot to consider.  And I understand if you don’t want to help.

Rinku:              Shhh.  Don’t worry.  I’ll help you.  Just tell me what to do.

 

Narrator:          And those words began the next phase of my life.  As a few raindrops began to fall, the fireflies scattered and disappeared.  I was told by the Princess to follow her into her chambers to further explain my quest.  After hiding my helmet and shield from the rain, she gave her cloak to me to disguise myself from the palace guards.  At this point, my fate was in her hands.  Only bad things could happen if I was found in the presence of Royalty.  Even worse things for her if she was found conspiring with a mercenary.  But for the benefit of Hyrule, we were willing to risk our lives.

 

 

CHAPTER THREE

 

Narrator:          I spent that night in Zelda’s chamber.  Neither of us slept; rather, we discussed what needed to be done.  The Princess seemed confident that things would work out in the long run.  She told me that she had reoccurring dreams where a stranger came to help her save the kingdom from darkness.  She was very much into dreams, unlike myself.  She believed that dreams could somehow tell the future.

                        Our discussions continued and every time the Princess brought up payment for my services, I somehow felt the need to change the topic.  Upon the dawn of morning, she had breakfast delivered to the room so I could eat in private.  Afterwards, she once again hid me within her flowing cloak and ushered me through the labyrinth-like palace, stopping to reclaim my helmet and shield, which was left in the garden.  My heart raced as we passed each guard, and I could tell that Zelda’s did too.  But finally we reached the place where I would be departing on my quest.

                        Before leaving, Zelda and I stood together silently until she simply placed something in my hand, a favor to remember her by while I was out fighting for her.  It was some kind of wind instrument.  With this, I finally left the castle.

                        As I was heading for the drawbridge, I felt something hit me in the back of the head.

 

Jonesi:             Rinku, where the hell do you think you are going?

Weno:             And where were you last night?  We were looking for you.

Piaba:              Look, Rinku is wearing a woman’s cloak!  (teasing)  I think I know what happened last night.

 

Narrator:          So much for beginning the adventure with a solemn advent.

 

Rinku:              I need to do something.  It is very important.

Weno:             Too bad.  We gotta go.  The King doesn’t want us.  (Adopting a kingly voice) “Hyrule does not need the assistance of wandering, vile low-lives.”

Piaba:              What’s even more ironic is that the guard we spoke to yesterday was the captain of the Royal Guards.  He said we “were making a terrible ruckus in the marketplace, disturbing the honorable citizens of Hyrule.”

Jonesi:             What an ass.

Weno:             Yeah.  (Shifting attention) Rinku, it is time to go.  The rest of the group has already begun to return to camp.  We will find out what the other group had to say.  I personally hope that they hire us.  I can’t wait to fight that Captain or the bloated King of theirs.

Rinku:              No, you don’t understand.  I need to do something right now.  I won’t be going with you.

Piaba:              (Joking)  Ooh!  You really must have had some FUN last night!  Now you actually want to stay here. 

Rinku:              It’s not like that.

Jonesi:             Well, at least go back to camp with us.  See if the Knights hired us.

Weno:             You aren’t gonna ditch your family for a woman, are you?

Rinku:              (Pause)  Fine, I’ll return to camp…

 

Narrator:          As much as I didn’t want to, I was curious to know if the opposing army had hired my surrogate family, the band of mercenaries I grew up with.  Could I tell them that I had made arrangements with the Princess?  And one other question crossed my mind: if these guys could recognize me in the Princess’ cloak, could the guards have managed the same?

                        I tried not to think of it as we journeyed back to camp.  Once we arrived, everyone gathered together.  We all sat on the damp grass around a half-dead fire to discuss our next course of action.

 

Mercenary:      So the first groups are simply gone?  We aren’t a group of deserters.  We don’t abandon each other.

 

Narrator:          These words struck me hard.

 

Old Man:          But the second away parties returned.  Weno, who spoke to the Hylian Royalty, and Garee, who spoke to the Knights, will present to us the results of their respective inquiries.

Weno:             (Standing up to face everyone)  Quite simply, the Hylians are dicks.  They don’t want our help.  Garee?  (Sits down)

Garee:             (Standing up to face everyone)  Well, it seems that we won’t be Hyrule very long then.  The Knights didn’t seem to pleased to see us, but admitted that they could use our help.  However, they have no means to pay us now or in the future.  It turns out that they aren’t even paying their own army, if you can call it that.  It’s more like two guys hiding in a burrow.

Old Man:          And you both inquired into the missing parties?

Weno:             (Standing up again)  That is correct.  The Royalty and the Guards had not heard of the group that we sent to the castle yesterday morning.

Garee:             I can not say the same for the Knights.  Our group had met with their leader.  They came to the same conclusion with that group as was made with ours: we would not be assisting them.  The last the Knights saw of them, they were leaving their encampment.

Old Man:          So the Castle group disappeared en route to their destination and the Knights group disappeared on the returning journey.  (Thinking, then continues)  Well, we aren’t wanted here, so we should be leaving as soon as we can, but as was said before, we don’t abandon each other.  I suggest that the rest of us move on, while a search party remains to find the missing groups.  But I am not the leader, only he can decide that.  What say you?

Leader:            Old Man, once again it is proven that though your fighting skills have left you, your wisdom remains.  We shall do what he said.  A search party will remain in Hyrule to find the missing groups.  How many people are missing and how many will remain to find them?

Weno:             There were three people to visit the castle originally.

Garee:             And four left to visit the Knights.  So seven people in all are missing.

 

Narrator:          I knew that if I was to stay in Hyrule and help Zelda, I needed an alibi to leave the group.  There was only one thing to do.

 

Rinku:              (Standing up)  I will search for the missing seven.

 

Narrator:          Jonesi laughed out loud.  He knew that I had an ulterior motive.

 

Jonesi:             (Standing up, with a slight laugh in his voice)  Well, if Rinku is going to be part of this search party, I will have to see to it that he doesn’t hurt himself.  (Crowd laughs).

Piaba:              (Standing up, but seriously)  And I too will go, sir.

Leader:            (Unimpressed)  Three inexperienced young’uns to find seven missing people?  I don’t know which is funnier, what you have just proposed, or that silly woman’s cloak Rinku is wearing.  (Crowd laughs.)

Weno:             (Directed at Rinku)  And I also wonder if their minds will be on the task of searching for our lost comrades, and not on OTHER engagements made while here…

Garee:             If it so concerns you, then I will chaperone the three.  As a senior ranking member of this unit, I will see to it that things go smoothly.

 

Narrator:          A smile went across Weno’s face.  Garee was one who didn’t allow arguments from people once he expected something of them.  With Garee with us, Weno knew that I wouldn’t be able to do whatever it was he thought I wanted to do.  Weno and the leader were satisfied with the outcome of this meeting.  The logistics of rendezvousing with the main group was worked out and the meeting was ended.

                        We then set off to pack our belongings.  The main group would travel west to a land called Calatia while the four of us would begin a search for the missing seven.  As we packed, I approached Piaba and Jonesi to help them deconstruct a tent.

 

(Sounds of moving canvas and posts)

Jonesi:             So, it looks like you get to stay here after all, but not for the reason you wanted to, I’m sure.

Piaba:              Yeah.  And you never did say were you got that purple cape.  That’s not your color, it clashes with your green tunic.

Jonesi:             Isn’t that the color of Royalty?  Purple?

Rinku:              I suppose…

Jonesi:             Piaba, give me a hand here, this post is stuck (a grunt and the post is pulled from out of the earth).  So what is it that you plan to do?

Piaba:              You’ve been pretty silent recently, Rinku, what’s up?

Rinku:              Well, we may not have been hired to fight for anyone, but …  (Pause, wondering if he should tell them.)  I was.

Piaba:              (Sarcastically)  Right.

Jonesi:             And for fighting for her, she gave you her cloak, huh?

Rinku:              Actually, yes.  And this too.  (Pulls out the instrument.)  It is some kind of wind instrument.  It’s important to her.  It will remind me to keep fighting…

Jonesi:             (Seriously)  Woah, isn’t that the kingdom crest on that thing?

Piaba:              Where?

Jonesi:             (Not joking any more.)  Those three triangles.  I saw them everywhere in the castle.  They worship them or something.  Who gave this to you?

Rinku:              . . .

Piaba:              Look, do you want us to help you or not?

Rinku:              What?

Piaba:              If you want to get away from Garee for even a minute, you are going to need our help.  But first tell us what is going on

Rinku:              Well…

 

Narrator:          Piaba gave me this look of dissatisfaction that can only be seen to be understood.

 

Rinku:              (sigh)  Princess Zelda gave it to me.

Jonesi:             (Raises voice in disbelief)  Princess!!

Rinku:              (Annoyed) Shh!  Not so loud.  (Beginning story.)  When I tried to leave the castle I, uh, quite literally ran into her.

Piaba:              You assaulted the Princess?

Jonesi:             And just yesterday you were calling her a dog.

Rinku:              Just listen.  I was told that in order to bring peace to Hyrule, I need to find this jewel that she had stolen.  It’s this thing called the Triforce.  It is in three fragments, each hidden in a different location.  I need to get them before some weird cult does and prove that neither the Knights nor the Royalty took it.

Jonesi:             But the Royalty did take it.  You just said the Princess had it stolen.

Rinku:              Yes, but Zelda said…

Piaba:              (Interrupting, teasing)  Hey, they are on a first-name basis..!

Rinku:              Shut up!  (Regaining train of thought.)  Someone, she doesn’t know who, was going to steal it and use it against the kingdom.  She needed to hide it in a safe place.  Because she can’t trust either side of the war, she needs me to return it now that the time is right to reveal it.

Jonesi:             So where are these pieces hidden?

Rinku:              Each fragment represents a different aspect of the Triforce.  The Courage fragment is in some forest called the Lost Woods.  Lake Hylia hides the Wisdom fragment.  And the final fragment, Power, is hidden inside the northernmost peak, Death Mountain.

                        Once I have collected the three pieces, I will return the completed Triforce to ... the Princess ... and then I will be done.

Jonesi:             That sounds like a little too much for you.  You can’t even beat me in a fight.  It’s a good thing we’re going with you.  I somehow knew that you were in over your head.

Piaba:              Jonesi, why don’t you finally put those poisonous cooking skills of yours to use?  Slip something in Garee’s lunch meal before we leave.  He’ll never know what hit him.

Rinku:              Guys?  (Pause.)  Thanks.

 

Narrator:          I never did like Jonesi’s cooking, and forever after that day I have been afraid to touch it with the business end of my sword.  But whatever it was that he did, Jonesi had fixed some concoction that gave Garee the most explosive case of diarrhea the instant the main group left us behind.

                        Oh...  Garee tried to be a man about it.  He tried to hold it in.  But soon friction became his enemy and the pain from wiping his ass left him stranded.  Never letting his dignity appear wounded, he told us that he could take care of himself as we went on ahead.  I kinda felt sorry for him.  He had done no wrong and simply wanted to find our missing companions; but to save Hyrule, he had to be taken out of the picture.

                        Since it was the closest, Piaba, Jonesi, and myself set off for the Lost Woods.  The hike would have been almost enjoyable had it not been for my company’s incessant inquiries into my time spent with Zelda.

 

Jonesi:             Did you kiss her?  Was she hot?

Piaba:              So, what did you two do while spending the night in her room?

Jonesi:             She told you her dreams?  Uh-oh!  You know what they say when a woman begins telling you that you are involved in her dreams for the future.

Piaba:              She says that she cherishes that flute?  Well, you know what it looks like to me.

 

Narrator:          Strangely, their perverted comments didn’t strike me as funny anymore.  They were just tasteless.  But they kept coming and I walked in silence as they amused themselves at my (or was it Zelda’s?) expense. 

                        But much to my good fortune, we soon found ourselves in the presence of great trees.  They towered over us like titans.  As the wooded area grew more dense, we found that a heavy fog became tangled in the outstretched branches.  The uneven terrain and fallen logs hidden behind the forest mist silently spoke out to us; these were the Lost Woods.  Very intimidating even in daylight.  But somehow I felt drawn to them, like in a past life the threatening plants had nurtured me and given me life.

 

Piaba:              There is NO WAY I am going in there!

Jonesi:             This princess of yours DID give you a map, right?

Rinku:              Yes, but the growth in this forest is so rapid, that a map can’t be made of its paths.  They change when they feel like it.

Jonesi:             The paths change when who feels like it?

Rinku:              The forest.

Jonesi:             I think the perfume on that cloak has burned your brains out.  Either that or you’ve been brainwashed.

Rinku:              Well, if you are to scared to set foot in the woods, I will have to go all by my lonesome.  (Begins walking.)

Piaba:              Jeez!  How much is this broad paying you?

Rinku:              (Voice distant)  I never asked.

Piaba:              (To Jonesi)  He IS brainwashed.

Jonesi:             Well, those favors he was given . . . that instrument looks like an heirloom and the purple cape can fetch a really good price.

Piaba:              We can cast lots to see who gets what, but for now we need to hurry up and catch up with Rinku.  I can barely seem him anymore in that dark fog.  (Running after Rinku)  Yo!  Wait up, man!

 

Narrator:          Together, we three mercenaries aimlessly wandered around the shrouded forest, hopelessly lost.  Well, I suppose that’s what happens when you let Jonesi take lead of your party.

                        The longer we spent in the forest, the more I felt at ease; the complete opposite was true of Piaba who was becoming more agitated by the minute.  It was then that I finally decided to follow my instinct.  My mind was filled with a strange tune and I began to follow it.  Jonesi and Piaba were quick to follow, though they had little faith that my taking lead would render any success.  And had they know I was following a tune in my head, they would have gagged and bound me and dragged me out of the forest, back to the main group.

                        The forest melted away from my sight as my pace quickened, hoping to find the source of the tune in my mind.  Branches began to tear at me, but I didn’t mind, I was getting closer.  I heard shouts from behind me telling me to slow down, but I couldn’t.  I was so in a rush that I wasn’t looking where I was going.  A hand grabbed me from behind and yelled,

 

Piaba:              (Screaming)  Look out, dumb-shit!

 

Narrator:          Piaba had grabbed me just in time.  I was running right into an outstretched spear.  What held it, completely stunned and amazed all three of us.  It looked like a bulldog, but only it stood on its hind legs.  The dog-ogre like creature was in light armor and was brandishing the spear in front of it.  It obviously did not appreciate our presence in the forest.  But it wasn’t alone.  Three others stood behind it, each with a nasty looking spear in hand.

                        A fight instantly broke out.  Fortunately we were in armor at this point.  We dodged attacks from the monsters as we dropped our traveling gear and strapped on our helmets and shields.  Jonesi’s fox tail danced on his belt as he spun circles around one of the creatures, waiting for its defense to be dropped.  Not being quite as lithe as Jonesi, Piaba simply lunged at one of the ogres.  As for myself, I was a bit late in preparing for the battle.  One was already killed by the time I jumped into the fray.

                        The creature I chose to fight saw me coming, so it chucked its spear right at me.  I was caught by surprise, but was able to dodge the makeshift missile and slay the defenseless abomination.  What was even more surprising was what happened once they were defeated, in a sudden swell of green fire, the corpses vanished, leaving no trace of their existence.  But our amazement would have to wait because before us was a hollowed tree that lead below ground, exactly what Zelda told me to look for.  I was about to enter when I was reminded of what just happened.

 

Jonesi:             (Angry)  What the hell did you think you were going to accomplish running into that spear?  You can’t save the world when you’ve been impaled.

Piaba:              (He too is angry)  Did you not hear us shouting for you to slow down?  You were charging through bushes and branches like no tomorrow.  Take a look at our stuff.  Those branches looted us of our crap!

Jonesi:             I lost the tent, it looks like Piaba lost his sleeping bag back there, and some tree even tore off that cape of yours.  Shit, I even lost a spaulder to some bush.  (Sigh, followed by silence.)

Rinku:              (Feeling stupid)  I just, I just felt inspired, like I knew the way and I wanted to hurry before I forgot.  Before I lost my guide.

Piaba:              Forget about losing your guide, we lost some equipment and armor chasing you through the forest!  If I had lost my wolf’s tail, I’d kill you right here.  (Silence.)

Rinku:              But, we are here.

Jonesi:             (Pauses to look around.)  Where?  I don’t see any “here.”

Rinku:              The entrance to the cave where the Courage fragment is hidden.  See that hollow tree?  It is down there someplace.  That’s what I was told.

Piaba:              You’d better be right or I’m gonna kick your ass.

 

Narrator:          Piaba liked to make threats whether he was angry or not.  I took it with a grain of salt.  But I knew that for my safety and theirs, I would need to be more careful in the future.  I felt guilty, though.  I’d be mad at myself too had I been in their shoes.  I finally began to appreciate their willingness to help me in this daunting task, but after what just happened, it just didn’t seem like such a good time to tell them at this time.

 

 

CHAPTER FOUR

 

Narrator:          Crawling down the throat of a dead tree never seemed to be something I ever imagined myself doing.  But with the quickness that I did it, it seemed like I had done it several times before in a dream.

                        I waited for Piaba and Jonesi to descend after me in the cavernous bottom.  As I stood there, my eyes adjusted to the dark.  Before me were ancient statues in a strange order.  As I began to walk into the darkness to test how well I could see, it felt like the statues’ stone eyes were following my every step.  My paranoia was interrupted as Piaba finally finished his climb down.  The three of us were together and ready to explore whatever lay before us.

 

Jonesi:             You know, I would light my lantern right now so we could see... if I still had it.

Rinku:              Jeez, I’m sorry the trees looted us.

 

Narrator:          My guilt still hadn’t left me.  Perhaps that was a good thing: it urged me to use my head for something other than keeping my ears apart.

 

Piaba:              Over here, guys.  It looks like there is a door behind these cobwebs.

Jonesi:             I’m not touching those.  You found it, Piaba, you get to clear the spider webs.

Piaba:              (Sigh)  You’ve got arachnophobia!  Stand back and watch a pro!  Watch as I draw my sword and show those webs what-for!  (He cuts them.)  You may pass now.

Jonesi:             (Sarcastically)  Thank you m’lord.

 

Narrator:          Even though we left the statue chamber, it still felt as if we were being watched.  Perhaps it is because I never liked the dark as a child, or perhaps it was because I was still reflecting on my close-encounter with death, but the paranoia followed me in each room we entered.

 

Jonesi:             I am positive that we climbed into some sort of underground battery or some fort.  Look: brick walls, stone doorways, and a tiled floor.  It is an underground labyrinth!

Piaba:              If only we had a map of this place, or even a compass.

Jonesi:             That would be nice.

(Sound of rats scurrying.)

Jonesi:             This place has rats too?

 

Narrator:          Somehow my paranoia paid off, and I repaid the debt to Piaba for saving my life as I lunged at him, sending both of us to the damp, moldy tile.  A boomerang in flight soared over our heads and returned to its owner, a weasel of some sort.  The weasel wore a gi of sorts and had stockings wrapped around its long feet.  As with the creatures outside the entrance, this little guy didn’t travel alone.  Others just like it in varied sizes came crawling out of the darkness, each armed with multiple boomerangs.  Naturally, we began to fight again, but what bothered me was what one of them hissed as we began the melêé.

 

Weasel:           Goriya destroy all enemies of Ganon.

 

Narrator:          Zelda was right.  The bizarre cult that worshiped this fictional Ganon-character was a band of inhuman monsters.  Our second encounter with members of this group, the first being the bulldog monsters, would prove to be a bit more difficult, since none of us had any experience fighting against boomerangs.

                        It was tough enough keeping track of the weapons being thrown at us, but the fact that we had to keep track of the boomerang when it returned made things much harder.  If one of us were to be concentrating on a boomerang coming at us, one would hit us from behind.  And the opposite was true: if concentrating on a boomerang arriving from behind, we would be hit in our front side.

                        Defense was our main priority against these weasels.  After failing to harm the pack as individuals, we huddled together, back to back to back.  The Goriyas, as they called themselves, were very tricky.  The larger members would be stationary and at a distance as they launched their attacks whilst the smaller, quicker Goriyas would run in and attack.

                        As each of the smaller weasels charged at us, we would pick them off.  Piaba and I were beginning to show signs of fatigue, but Jonesi kept us going.

 

Jonesi:             Come on, these animals can’t hurt us!  Rinku, think of your woman!  You too, Piaba?  Do you want to find Radia and the other missing members of our unit?

 

Narrator:          We kept at our plan as we all huddled together.  Eventually, the Goriyas learned that charging us would do little good after losing most of their quicker members.  Interestingly, much like the bulldogs, these weasels disappeared in green flames once a fatal blow was delivered.

                        Realizing that the battle was lost, the bizarre creatures began to retreat.  Monsters or not, they seemed to value their lives enough to escape when they knew that they would lose.

 

(Everyone is out of breath, when they speak they will be panting.)

Piaba:              Whew!  They’re finally gone.

Rinku:              But they left a souvenir.  Check out this boomerang!  It just might come in handy; I’m going to keep it.

Piaba:              Suit yourself.

Jonesi:             Ugh, I need to take off my helm.  (Removes helmet.)  So, is everyone alright?

Rinku:              I’m out of breath and I’ll have a few welts tomorrow, but nothing broken.

Piaba:              Same here.  Jonesi?

Jonesi:             Just fine.

Rinku:              Look!  When those creatures left, they must have triggered something because I never saw that open door before.

Jonesi:             Me neither.  Let’s check it out!

 

Narrator:          The three of us composed ourselves and went to investigate the new passageway.  Once on the other side of the door, a huge slab of stone fell behind us, closing us inside the room.  That startled us, but our attention was quickly changed to finding out where we were.

                        It was a dungeon of some sort with jail cells lining each wall.  Roots from the trees above us bore through the ceiling and vines crawled on every stationary object in the room.  To our surprise, in one of the jail cells, we saw a bight, crystalline triangle.  Naturally, it was the only cell that was locked!  But, that didn’t matter, we would figure out a way to open it.

                        As we walked towards the cell, we each heard the voice of one of the Goriyas.  This little tip was enough to warn us of the next surprise attack.

                        In a sudden shower of rock, shattered trees, and who knows what else, something very big smashed through the ceiling of the dungeon.  As the dust cleared, we herd the demonic voices of the Goriyas once again.

 

Goriyas:           Goriyas not beaten yet!  Behold, Aquamentus!

 

Narrator:          It was at that point that I wished that I had never got up from bed.  Or was I still in bed dreaming?  I stared in disbelief as the world’s largest lizard crawled slowly at us, flapping its massive wings and ready to impale the nearest mercenary on it’s single, long horn.  On its back was another Goriya, but this one, rather than wearing a gi, was in armor.

                        This was most defiantly the boss of the Goriya tribe.  The remaining Goriyas rushed at us, flinging their boomerangs at their surprised victims, US!  If fighting the weasels wasn’t tough enough, having a dragon in the middle of the fray made things much worse.

                        Fortunately, the fallen debris allowed for something to hide behind as projectiles were launched from every which way.  And every so often, the “Aquamentus,” as it was so called, would attempt to gore us on its spike.  Jonesi’s quick reflexes saved him several times from being run through.  He also managed to get the Aquamentus to impale the Goriyas.  As for Piaba, his fighting style of picking a spot and staying there was well suited for fighting only human opponents.  He kept finding himself being hit by the full force of several flying boomerangs.  I knew that the Aquamentus had to be taken out in order to beat the Goriyas, but I didn’t know how.

                        Without warning, the voice that had appeared in my head as I was climbing over the castle wall yesterday evening appeared again.

 

Voice:              (Distant and echo-y)  The boomerang…

 

Narrator:          It echoed.  I sheathed my sword and pulled forth my stolen boomerang.  As the Aquamentus came down towards me, ready to gore, I jumped out of the way chucking that boomerang as hard as I could.  The mounted Goriya didn’t see it coming and was instantly knocked from the unicorn dragon.  As the creature reared up on its hind legs, I drew my sword and charged it.  Doing some goring of my own, I plunged my sword up to the basket into its soft belly.

 

(Terrible scream of Aquamentus in background)

Piaba:              What da fu—look out!  That thing’s falling over!

 

Narrator:          The giant creature toppled over as the Goriyas scattered from the battle.  The Aquamentus had been slain.  Slowly, the magical flames rose and engulfed the beast as it vanished from our sight.  We all took heart that we were able to defeat such a foe.

                        We were soon alone in the rubble of what used to be an underground fortress.  Above us, the forest opened up as the fog slowly flowed down into where we stood.  One advantage of having the Aquamentus destroy the underworld was that, somehow during the fight, the locked cell that contained the Courage of the Triforce was broken open.

                        The jewel was like crystal and sort of resembled a pyramid, though all sides of it were a equilateral triangle.  It had a slight green tint to it, but, I could admire it later.  I had to find the other two pieces.

 

Jonesi:             Wow, that thing is pretty.  I’m sure we could sell it for a good price.

 

Narrator:          I ignored this comment as we began to exit the dungeon by climbing up the rubble to the torn open ceiling.  We were in the Lost Woods once again, but in a different part.

 

Piaba:              (Sarcastically)  This is just great.  (Frustrated)  We left all of our gear at the entrance of this place.  Now we have to find our way back there to get our stuff and then we have to find our way out of this forest.

Rinku:              Well, I think I could find my way back there.  And I promise not to run this time.

Jonesi:             (Still bitter)  You better not.

 

Narrator:          It took quite some trying, but we finally made our way back to were we had left our belongings when we battled the bulldogs.  That was the good news.  The bad news was that we weren’t going to be seeing daylight any time soon.  Just when we thought that the Lost Woods couldn’t get any darker, night began to fall.  We were forced to set camp in the middle of the intimidating forest.  Since I was the cause of Piaba losing his sleeping bag, I gave him mine.  Jonesi made a fire and prepared a meal for us—but after seeing what his last meal did to Garee, we were reluctant to eat.

                        Tired from our day of traveling and fighting, we finally settled in for the night and fell asleep.  Well, actually, I think I was the only one who slept that night since Piaba and Jonesi were still uneasy about being in the spooky woods.

                        Rather than having my typical dream of the festival, the courtyard, followed by the destruction, I had a different dream that night.  I found myself in the courtyard of Hyrule Castle again.  Before me was Zelda.  I didn’t care if it was a dream, I once again was able to see her!  I couldn’t wait to tell her what I just did.

 

Rinku:              You won’t believe this!  Just like you told me, there was this tree, and inside was the courage fragment.  But these weasels and a dragon attacked us.  Some voice told me to throw a boomerang, so I did, and I was able to defeat them and get the Triforce.

Zelda:              Of course I believe it.  I have the utmost faith in you.  (Reflective pause)  Where are you going now?

Rinku:              Well, since it is close, I was going to head off for Death Mountain.

Zelda:              (Concerned)  Actually, Death Mountain has been sealed off.  No one can get up there.  You will need to go to Lake Hylia first.

Rinku:              Sealed off?  Lake Hylia?  Why?

Zelda:              Recently there have been avalanches in Death Mountain and a boulder has blocked the only path.  Until it is cleared and deemed safe to go up there, you will need to do something else.

Rinku:              (Not knowing what else to say)  I see.

Zelda:              Rinku, please hurry.  I fear that this war can’t go on much longer and those that do believe in Ganon are getting closer to stealing the Triforce pieces.

Rinku:              For you Zelda, anything.

Zelda:              Thank you.  (Rather than saying goodbye, she adds this reluctantly.)  May the way of the Hero lead you to the Triforce.

 

Narrator:          It was still dark when I woke up.  Confusion overpowered me.  Should I put my faith in a dream?  I was damp from the morning dew and stiff from sleeping on the uneven ground.  I need to stretch my legs, clear my mind,  and relieve myself.

                        I wandered a bit away from camp and began to do my business when that voice that appeared in my head returned.

 

Voice:              (Giggling.)

Rinku:              (Quickly closing pants.)  What?  Who is there?

Voice:              (Playfully)  You don’t see me?

Rinku:              (Paranoid)  No.

Voice:              I’ve been following you.  You’re cute!

Rinku:              I still don’t see you.

Voice:              (Sad)  Nobody does these days.  They have stopped believing.  Even you!  When I was with you at Hyrule Castle, I helped you get over that wall.  And no thanks!  I saved your life in the underworld, and no thanks!

Rinku:              (To himself)  I’ve gone loony.

Voice:              No you haven’t, Rinku.

Rinku:              It knows my name…  I must still be asleep.

Voice:              No, no, silly!  Just open your eyes.  You giants can be so hardheaded.

Rinku:              Giants, hu?  (Pause)  Wait, you are...you are a fairy?

Voice:              (Laughing)  Finally!  You can see me now, right?

Rinku:              No.

Voice:              How disappointing.  But at least you can hear me.  I am Tingle, a forest fairy.  I’ve decided to follow you.

Rinku:              Well, please don’t follow me when I need to relieve myself or take a bath.

Tingle:             (Sigh)  Well, all right.  (Chipper)  So, were are we off to now?

Rinku:              (Unsure if he should continue the conversation.)  How do I know you are real?

Tingle:             (Joking)You’re not very smart are you?  Of course I am real, you just doubt that I exist, so you can’t see me.  So, where are we going?

Rinku:              Lake Hylia.

Tingle:             Very fun!  But first you will need to find your way out of the forest.  A forest fairy led you to the dungeon, so a forest fairy will have to lead you out.

Rinku:              That tune, it was you?

Tingle:             Yup.  That was the song of the forest.  But, it is still dark.  Go back to sleep and in the morning, I will help you and your friends find your way to Kakariko.

Rinku:              Crack-a-what?

Tingle:             (Giggling)  How cute.  That’s Kakariko.  It is the nearest village.  You can get some supplies there that you lost while charging through the forest.  Honestly, how do you expect to survive this quest if you go running headfirst into unknown terrain.  (Bubbly laughter.)  You do need my help!  Although you did teach those moblins what for!

Rinku:              Those bulldog creatures?

Tingle:             Yup.  But go to bed now.  I’ll see you in the morning.

Rinku:              That makes only one of us.

 

Narrator:          Still unsure if I was a good candidate for Arkham Asylum or if I really did have a guardian sprite, I was able to lay myself to rest knowing that the forest wasn’t evil and that I had my next task ready to be performed.  As I drifted into slumber, Zelda’s words from my dream echoed in my ears, “may the way of the Hero lead you to the Triforce.”

 

 

CHAPTER FIVE

 

Narrator:          The sun had finally risen; however, the fog had not yet lifted from the woods.  I began to doubt if it ever would.  Jonesi lay in his bedding with it all hanging over his head, in an attempt to gain a few more hours of sleep.  Piaba simply stared up at the forest canopy in a trance, not quite awake but not quite asleep.

                        But we all knew that we had to get a move on.  Jonesi finally found the initiative to get up.  An empty stomach is enough to motivate somebody.  He slowly wandered off into the forest, being careful not veer too far away.  He returned with mushrooms.

 

Piaba:              (Half angry, half disgusted.)  Dude!  I am not eating that.

Jonesi:             Then go hungry for all I care.  This was the only thing I could find.  All the other plants here are so odd and I couldn’t find an animal anywhere to serve for breakfast.

Piaba:              That’s because you’re not a hunter.  (Changing topic)  I’m going hungry for today.  You can keep those mushrooms, Jonesi.  They smell awful.

Jonesi:             True that!  (Pause)  Rinku, you lucky guy, you.  Since you are responsible for losing our stuff, you get to carry these.

Rinku:              No way!  Just leave them here.

Jonesi:             We need food, this is all we can find.

Piaba:              All YOU can find…

Jonesi:             (Glares at Piaba, then continues)  So, just take the damn mushrooms and be glad that we aren’t doing more to punish you.

Rinku:              (Indignant)  Fine.  Whatever.  Give them here.

Piaba:              So, does anyone actually know how to find our way out of here

Rinku:              I might get us out.  I mean I lead us to the Triforce and all.

Jonesi:             (Still holds a grudge.)  Go for it, but don’t run this time.

 

Narrator:          The three of us armed ourselves, just in case we came across any more moblins, we gathered our belongings, and set off into the swirling mists of the forest maze.  We hiked up and slid down steep hills, we crossed crevices via fallen logs, and before anyone could tell me that we were lost, we found ourselves outside at last.  Be it by luck, my skill as a navigator, or if that fairy really did exist, we were outside at last.

                        In the distance we beheld a small village.  It was a quick trek and soon we were surrounded by the inhabitants of Hyrule living their busy lives.  This was Kakariko Village.  It was here that the three of us agreed to temporarily split up to replenish our lost supplies.  I found mine rather quickly, so I had some time to kill, so I figured I’d mingle.

 

(Noise in background)

Gruff Man:       I’m too busy to talk to a stranger.

Rinku:              Jeez.  Does nobody want to talk?

Girl:                  You’ll have to excuse us.  We’re in some hard times right now.  Plus, we aren’t used to seeing outsiders.

Rinku:              It was the armor, wasn’t it?

Girl:                  Yeah, that kinda does make you stand out, plus you smell, but I would say that it’s your ears.  They’re not pointy.

Rinku:              (Laughs)  I was always told my ears stuck out as a child, but that’s nothing compared to here!

Girl:                  (Laughs)  Yeah.  (Brief pause)  My name is Lalana.

Rinku:              I am Rinku, a pleasure to meet you.  Someone who talks!  So, why exactly do Hylian ears, well, you know...protrude so?

Lalana:            I don’t know.  I think there was a legend saying that it was so we could hear the gods speak to us through the Triforce.

Rinku:              Triforce, eh?  I’ve heard of it.  I’ve also heard that if it was found, it might end this civil war.

Lalana:            I suppose it might.  But the two sides would still fight over who stole it regardless of who took it.

Rinku:              (Unsure if he should bring it up.)  But, um, what if neither side took it.  Maybe it was Ganon.

Lalana:            (Laughs)  You seem to know more about Hyrule than the average traveler!  Ganon, what a good joke.  That is a story children are told when they are being bad.  (Mocking.)  If you don’t do your chores, young lady, Ganon will steal you away in the night and imprison you in Death Mountain.  (Done joking.)  It is just as goofy as those old men talking about some blade in the Lost Woods.  My uncle used to tell me stories of the Triforce, Ganon, the Hero Link, and his Master Sword.  He even says that the Captain of the Guards is a descendant of the Legendary Hero. 

Rinku:              (Cringes.)  Eagh.

Lalana:            I take it that you’ve met the Captain?

Rinku:              Unfortunately.

Lalana:            He isn’t too kind to visitors, but he is kind and well-liked by everyone.  I suppose that there might be some truth to my uncle’s tails about him.  All I know is that the Captain was born with the kingdom crest on his left hand.

Rinku:              (Curious)  How so?

Lalana:            (Smiles.)  Perhaps you should be talking to my uncle instead of me.

Rinku:              (Embarrassed.)  Well, I didn’t mean, you see . . .

Lalana:            It’s okay.  He spends all his time in the basement, he could use a new pair of ears to listen to his old stories.

Rinku:              Even if they aren’t pointy?

Lalana:            Even if you’re ears aren’t pointy.  Follow me.  (Opens door.)  Just follow the stairs down into the basement.

(No more market sounds.)

Rinku:              Um, okay.  (Walks down stairs.)  Hello?

Elder:               Who is there?

Rinku:              My name is Rinku, your niece said you like to tell stories.

Elder:               You are not a Hylian.  Why should you care?  You are also a warrior, a mercenary, I suppose. 

Rinku:              Do I really stick out that much?  Well...I am just interested, that’s all.

Elder:               I sense something more.  You have courage.

Rinku:              (Alarmed.)  What?  How did you..?

Elder:               Ah, I see.  I simply implied that you were brave, but it seems by your outburst just now, you have something more.  You HAVE courage, the Courage of the Triforce!

Rinku:              But!!

Elder:               I have long studied Hylian legends and people.  Be not afraid, foreigner.  You seek to assemble the Triforce and bring peace to our land, do you not?  This alone will not heal our split nation.  The seed of evil that exists in this land must be removed.  But that too, is not enough.  He who sews the seeds of evil, he who does not exist in this world, must be slain.

Rinku:              From what little I know, sir, I think you are talking about Ganon.  How can I kill someone who doesn’t exist, from what I’ve been told?

Elder:               You?  And Ganon?  You bring laughter to this old man’s chest.  Thank you.  But you can’t fight Ganon!  Only the Legendary Hero can do that—the Hero, wielding the Blade of Evil’s Bane retrieved from the lost woods, can conquer this evil.  The Hero bears the crest of the kingdom, young lad.

Rinku:              The Captain?

Elder:               Ah, you mean Leon.  Indeed, he was born with the kingdom crest.  He will inherit the Triforce in part one day.

Rinku:              Inherit in part?

Elder                The lovely Princess shall also inherit it in part.  She too bears the crest of the kingdom on her hand.  That is why it is so important that these two combine their powers: the courage of the Knights from Leon, the wisdom of the Sages from Zelda.  Their children will make great rulers.

Rinku:              (Shocked)  What?  Their children?  They’re not . . . married?

Elder:               You are a peculiar lad.  (Getting to the point.)  No, they are not.  However, since their births, it has been arranged that one day they shall rule Hyrule together.  But this is only after peace is restored.  You will be well-remembered, foreigner, for all of your help should you recover the remaining two Triforce fragments.

Rinku:              I don’t like where this conversation is going.  Thank you for your time, sir.

Elder:               Before you go, take this.  You may not be Hylian, leaving you unable to perform any type of magic, but it might help.  Hero or not, you are the one who will retrieve the Triforce.  This coin symbolizes the Thunder Spell.

Rinku:              Thank you, (under his breath) I suppose.  (Walks up stairs.)

Lalana:            So did you learn what you wanted about Ganon?

Rinku:              (Frustrated)  He seemed more interested in Leon.

 

Narrator:          I was glad to finally break off that conversation with the old man and leave.  As I left the house, a few things stuck out in my mind.  If the Captain, this Leon, was the Legendary Hero of Hyrule, why didn’t Zelda send him out on this adventure?  I also felt disgruntled that Zelda and Leon were intended to be together.  Why didn’t she tell me?  Just the thought of Leon siring children with her gave me the willies.  And then there was the entire kingdom crest on the back of hand deal.  I pulled off my demi-gauntlets and stared at my simple hands.  Plain, boring, and callused, there were no crests, no birthmarks.  These were hands of a mercenary, hands for hire.

                        What a silly legend, I thought to myself.  As I slipped my gauntlets back on, I heard a loud shout behind me.

 

Jonesi:             Rinku, run for it!

Rinku:              (Confused)  What the h--?

 

Narrator:          I couldn’t believe it, two soldiers were chasing Jonesi.  Since they were coming at me too, I had no choice but to run too.

 

(This is my little tribute to Run, Lola, Run, complete with running people and techno.)

Rinku:              What the hell did you do, Jonesi?

Jonesi:             Let’s just say this: Hylians don’t like strangers entering their houses and snooping around...

Rinku:              You what!? 

Guard 1:          (Shouting from behind)  For the last time, halt you two!

Rinku:              Agh!  Look out: livestock!!

(Chicken sound.)

Jonesi:             Yikes!  You kicked that chicken pretty good.

Rinku:              It looks pissed too, here comes the entire flock!

(Chickens begin chasing Jonesi and Rinku, in addition to the guards.)

Jonesi:             Quick, through that house.

Rinku:              Again with the entering of strangers’ houses...

Jonesi:             Just do it!

(Door opens.)

Jonesi:             Hello, ma’am, (Woman screams while he is talking) looking good.

Rinku:              I am so sorry!

Guard 2:          Pardon us, ma’am, just doing our duty.

Woman:          (Scream.)

(Pots and pans fall, baby cries, more chicken sounds.)

Rinku:              Sorry again!

Guard 1:          Halt!  (Gasp)  No, don’t touch THAT!!

(Chicken sound, more crashes and people fall to the ground.)

Jonesi:             Here’s our chance, RUN!

(Angry chicken.)

Rinku:              Ack! 

Jonesi:             Hello again.

Woman:          (Scream.)

Rinku:              I am so sorry, here’s something to cover the damages...

Guard 3:          After them!!

Rinku:              Yikes!

(Chicken sound.)

Jonesi:             I’m not sure what just happened but I told you going through that house would help.

Rinku:              Is that Piaba?  Being chased too?

(Piaba runs up alongside Rinku and Jonesi.)

Rinku:              So, what did you do to piss off the locals?

Piaba:              Being me.

Jonesi:             Yeah, that’ll do it.

Piaba:              Why are there chickens chasing us?

Rinku:              They don’t like being touched.

(Pause, still running.)

Guard 2:          Stop right there!

Jonesi:             Eh!  Quick, over there!

(Brief pause)

Guard 1:          Where did they go?

Guard 2:          They went that-a-way!

Guard 3:          Let’s go!

Piaba:              Think we can lose them in the crowd?

Guard 1:          (Shouting)  This is the Hylian Royal Guard; evacuate the streets!

Piaba:              Shoot!

Rinku:              Jump!!

(The three make jumping grunts.)

Kid 1:               Woah!  I wish I could do that.

Kid 2:               I can!

Kid 1:               Nu-uh!

Kid 2:               Uh-hu!

Guard 2:          Look out!!

Kid 1 and 2:     (Scream.)

(Collision.)

Kid 1 and 2:     (Crying.)

Guard 3:          Damnit, Carl, look what you did!

Guard 1:          Where’d they go?  Why are these children crying?

Guard 2:          Aw, dang!

(Chase scene ends as music fades and our three heroes stop running far from the village.  They are all short of breath and are rendered with labored, panting voices, even when they are not talking.)

Piaba:              Did we lose them?

Rinku:              At the expense of those kids, yeah.

Piaba:              Ugh, I am too old for this.

Jonesi:             So did we have fun?

Chicken:          (Angry still) Cluck, cluck!

Jonesi:             Look what followed us out of the village . . . breakfast!

Chicken:          (Scared) Cluck!?

(Sound of sword cutting.)

 

Narrator:          And thus, we made our rapid exodus from Kakariko village.  I didn’t think that I would tell Zelda about this episode of my adventure.  And I hope that you, yeah YOU, don’t either.

 

 

CHAPTER SIX

 

Narrator:          After our ‘memorable’ visit to Kakariko village, the three of us set off to continue our quest.  Heading to the southeastern region of Hyrule would eventually lead us to Lake Hylia.  Here we hoped to recover another Triforce fragment.

 

(Talking while walking a dirt path.)

Piaba:              You don’t suppose that we will come across any more strange creatures.

Rinku:              You mean to say that the moblins, goriyas, and aquamentus are limited to only the forest?

Piaba:              Yeah.

Jonesi:             If that is the case, it will probably be just our luck that we come across new creatures twice as hard to beat.  (New subject.)  You know, before we ‘decided’ to leave Kakariko Village, I bought a book which is a bestiary of all of this place’s creatures.  (Flips open book.)  Let’s see . . . the lake is by an ocean.  That means we might be passing the ocean, going through the estuaries, or bypassing all of that and going straight for the lake.

Piaba:              So?

Rinku:              So it might be wise to know what we are up against.

Piaba:              Okay.  So, tell us about these water and marsh creatures.

Jonesi:             (Flipping through pages.)  Well, it is kinda hard to read a book while walking.  (Pause.)  Here we go.  It says that the lakes and oceans are home to the Zora, fish-man creatures.  They rarely leave the water.  Next we have the tektite.  The aquatic variety can walk on water and jumps around a lot.  In the marshlands we should be wary of octorocks, octopus type creatures.  And we should also keep an eye out for a plant called the peahat. 

Rinku:              A plant?

Jonesi:             A plant.  (Closes book.)

Rinku:              Sounds silly to me.

Jonesi:             Sounds silly?  I’ll tell you what sounds silly to me.  Some girl you don’t know asking you to go off and find some gem she hid only because she had a dream that you should do so. 

Rinku:              Uh . . .

Jonesi:             And you know what else is silly?  Running into the forest headfirst into pole-arms held by giant bulldogs.

Rinku:              Jeez, I’m sorry about that.

Piaba:              (Trying to change the subject.)  Um, say, Rinku, tell us again where we are going.  A lake?

Rinku:              Yeah.  I’m not sure what to look for, but the second fragment of this Triforce thing is supposed to be hidden there.

Jonesi:             You’re not sure . . . it’s supposed to be . . . you don’t know very much, do you?  (Stops walking, he is frustrated.)  How do we know that this isn’t some snipe hunt?  We stayed behind to find our missing party members not to go on some scavenger hunt.

(Rinku and Piaba stop walking too.)

Rinku:              (He is frustrated too.)  No, I stayed behind to help out the Princess.  You stayed behind because you thought I couldn’t do it.  Or, knowing you, Jonesi, you thought that you could get some kind of payment for helping out the royalty here.  You’ve been thinking of selling the cloak she gave me.  You’ve been wondering about the value of this flute or whistle or whatever the hell it is.  And when we finally did find the first fragment, you were instantly thinking of pawning it.

Jonesi:             (Really frustrated)  Well, you can’t live on good deeds alone.  If these plans fall through, that “Triforce” would pay for food and shelter.  You need to think, Rinku.  This country is in civil war.  What would really happen if some mercenaries who had already offered their services to both sides all of a sudden appeared with this valued object.  They’d think WE were the ones that stole it.  You don’t have a shred of wisdom in your body.

Rinku:              (Angry)  Well, as a mercenary, I wasn’t asked to think about the tactics or politics of my actions.  That is the Princess’ job.  She is smart and explained it all to me.

Piaba:              (Against his better judgement to chose sides.)  Well, I kinda have to side with Jonesi on this one, pal.  True, we aren’t paid to think, but if an employer isn’t thinking straight, it is with our better judgement that we find a new one.

Rinku:              Well if you don’t want to help, fine.  It is with my better judgement that I will continue, with or without you.

Jonesi:             Again, without a shred of wisdom.  You need our help.  You just go running into things and rely on us to bail you out.

Rinku:              Well, I may not be as wise as Piaba or as powerful as you, but I can hold my own! 

Piaba:              Well, you say you can do fine by yourself and Jonesi says you can’t.  Go ahead without us, Rinku.  Prove to us that you are wise enough to be independent.  But, Jonesi and I will be not far behind you just in case he is right about you needing us.  If we don’t come to your aid, you will have proven yourself.  If we do need to come to your aid, you will have proven Jonesi.  Fair?

Rinku:              (A pause to think.)  How far back?

Piaba:              You won’t even see us.

Rinku:              (Under his breath.)  Fine. 

Piaba:              Shake on it?

Rinku:              (Indignant.)  Whatever.

 

(Rinku walks away as Piaba and Jonesi watch.  His footsteps fade away.)

 

Jonesi:             He’s gonna need us.  I don’t expect him to last long.

Piaba:              (Dissatisfied mumble) Erm.

 

(Rinku is walking by himself.)

 

Tingle:             Gee, that was tough.  Are you okay?

Rinku:              You again?

Tingle:             (Disappointed.)You don’t want my company.  (Happily.)  But I can help you.

Rinku:              I can do this on my own.  My map says that I should be by the lake at any moment now.  I have all I need.

Tingle:             You boys woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning.  Such fighting.

Rinku:              Nah, we always fight.

Tingle:             Not like that!  It seemed personal.

Rinku:              (Annoyed.)  Forget about it.

 

Narrator:          I walked in silence for quite a while, looking over my shoulder to see how close Piaba and Jonesi were following me.  I never saw them, but the knowledge that they were behind me was like an unscratchable itch.  It was as if they didn’t trust me.  It also doubled as an insult.  I wasn’t smart enough to get by on my own.  Tingle just seemed to rub it in, all she ever did was persist on telling me how to do things that I could figure out on my own.  It was (mocking high-pitched voice) “hey,”  “look,” “listen.”  (Normal voice.)  That damn fairy was annoying.

                        What I didn’t realize at the time was that they wanted to help me because they cared.  Plus, Tingle was right, I must’ve been angry from the very beginning of that day.  When I found out from the elder that Leon and Zelda were keepers of the Triforce and were intended to have “children of the Triforce,” or whatever, I was put off by the entire situation.  If I could recover the Triforce by myself, without the help of any other person, I could somehow prove that Leon wasn’t all that he was cracked up to be.  I could prove that I was worthy of being with Zelda.

                        So, with a renewed vigor to prove myself and to reassemble the Triforce, I marched forward to Lake Hylia.  A pleasant lake breeze fell across my face and tossed by hair and bandana around like banners aloft on a castle tower.  The vast lake lay before me.  A wall of mountains surrounded these blue waters.  I knew not where to begin my search.  I aimlessly wandered around the shore looking for any clues as to where to find the second fragment of Zelda’s artifact.  All the while, I knew that Piaba and Jonesi were still behind me so I tried to make it look like I knew what I was doing.

                        Eventually, I decided to enter a house on the waterfront.  Perhaps a local would know something about the area.  The sign on the door said that I was entering a raft shop.

 

(Door opens and then closes.)

Clerk:               (Nasal sounding.)  Welcome to my raft shop.  Sorry, but business has been put on hiatus.

Rinku:              What?

Clerk:               I am too sick to work.  If I had some medicine, then I could help you reach the other side of the lake with one of my incredible rafts.

Rinku:              What IS on the other side of the lake?

Clerk:               A few ruins.  It is a great tourist attraction, but I haven’t been over there in months.  Since the war began, I’ve been terribly ill.

Rinku:              Where can one procure a medicine that would help?

Clerk:               There is an old woman who lives in the swamp east of here.  I’m not lazy, I could go there myself, but with the war and all, it’s hard for anyone to get supplies.

Rinku:              What do you mean?

Clerk:               Well, all I have is just enough rope to build one raft.  Having that little amount of rope is bad for business if somebody wants three rafts.  And I can’t get more rope due to the Royal family making us donate our goods to them so they can fight this stupid war.  The same is true for the potion hag.  She made my medicine once before, but the Royal family made her donate it to the war effort.  Business everywhere is being ruined!  (Begins coughing.)  Would you mind checking if she has made some more medicine?

Rinku:              I’ll see what I can do.

Clerk:               Thank you.  (Cough, cough.)

(Door opens and then closes.)

Rinku:              Potion hag to the east in the swamp.  She might know something too.

 

Narrator:          And so I began my trek to the eastern swamp.  I couldn’t directly ask anyone for information on the Triforce without sounding suspicious.  But I could guess from my excursion in the woods that the ruins on the other side of Lake Hylia might house the second fragment.

                        As I walked to the east, I got a better knowledge of the Hylian geography.  The lake turned into a river that turned into a swamp that emptied into the ocean.  But, even at the shallowest points, I was still unable to cross to the other side.  It seemed that a raft was my only chance. 

                        As I entered the swamp, a terrible smell wafted into my nose, burning my sinuses.

 

Tingle:             Peyoo!  That smells bad.  You don’t really want to go in there, do you Rinku?

Rinku:              I need to find that medicine shop.

Tingle:             (Triumphant)  Well, alright.  I’d stay out here, but if you are going in, so am I!

Rinku:              (Hoping to escape from Tingle.)  You can stay out here, honest.  I don’t mind.

Tingle:             (Cheery.)  Oh, you are such a tease!

 

Narrator:          And so I entered the muddy waters of the swamp.  There was a strange green film that floated atop the murky brown water, if it really was water that I was wading through.  Strange, misshapen trees clawed out from the rancid bayou.  I then began to think that my aimless exploration of this terrain may have not been the best idea as I found myself slowly sinking into the depths of the goop.  If quicksand wasn’t bad enough, I had another problem.  A few feet in front of me, a strange creature floated to the top of the bog, altered to my presence.

                        As the swamp muck slowly oozed off its slimy body, I saw that it was a pulsating purple octopus of some sort.  It’s yellow eyes glared at me, deciding if it could swallow me.  Me, being unable to move from where I sank deeper into the quagmire, sat helpless as the creature leaped into the air and regurgitated a rock which flew in my direction.  I dodged the projectile as I stared at what I figured to be an octorock.

                        The octorock was unsatisfied that it had missed me, so it decided to take another shot, since I wasn’t going to be moving any time soon.  It leaped into the air and again regurgitated a rock that sped towards me.  But rather than dodging it, this time I drew my shield and bounced the rock off of it.  The rock flew back and smacked the creature on its gigantic head.  Its legs flailed and decided to simply let me sink.  But I knew that this creature was my ticket out.  I grabbed one of its tentacles, which scared it.  In a blind fury, the creature darted off with me still holding on.

                        This was enough to yank me free of the sand; however, the suction-cups on the tentacle’s underside stuck to my hands.  I couldn’t let go and I found myself sliding across the terrible marsh at high speeds, crashing into whatever jetted out of the mud.  I reached to my side where I hoped that my sword still hung.  It still was there, so I withdrew my weapon from its sheath and severed the tentacle from the octorock.  I flew off with great momentum, but a tree was more than happy to slow me down.  (Whack!)

                        I wasn’t knocked unconscious, but I laid there in the mud as if I was, unable to get up.  Time passed and soon I was able to stand up again.  I was completely covered in the vile ooze of the swamp’s water.  I gathered anything that I had dropped upon impact with the tree.

                        With this done, I set off again to find the medicine lady, now not just for the raft maker’s medicine, but to have someone remove the tentacle that was affixed to my hands.  I was aching all over and gaining empathy for a urinal cake.  I was glad when I finally saw a hut hidden by some brush sticking out of the water.

 

(Door opens then closes.)

Rinku:              (Injured, tired, and sick.)  Hello?

Old Lady:         (Angry)  Who said that you could come in my house?

Rinku:              Um, the door was unlocked...

Old Lady:         So? 

Rinku:              (Awkward.)  Arerm.  Well, I could use your help.  I came here to find some medicine for a raft maker but now I think that I could use some too.

Old Lady          Yes, the raft maker does need medicine, but I do not have the supplies to make it.  (Pause.)  What’s that smell?

Rinku:              I think it’s me.  I was dragged through the swamp by an octorock.

Old Lady:         Yes, it is you.  I smell the sleepy toadstool, indigenous to the Lost Woods!  I could use that to make the potion for the raft maker.  Let me have it and I will heal your wounds.

Rinku:              (Happy, but still hurting)  It’s a deal.  (Digs through stuff.)  Good thing too, I don’t seem to have any money.  Ah-ha, there it is.  (Takes out mushroom.)  Here is the mushroom.  My friends and I found it while looking for breakfast this morning.

Old Lady:         This is a very powerful toadstool, it is.  Dangerous to eat.  One man once ate it and lived the rest of his life thinking he was a raccoon. 

Rinku:              Poor guy.

Old Lady:         I will be back with your medicines in a moment.  (She moves a curtain and disappears behind it.)

(Silence.)

Tingle:             Hello.

Rinku:              (Startled.)  Yikes!  Don’t sneak up on me like that!

Old Lady:         (Far away, thinks Rinku is talking to her.)  What did you say?

Tingle:             (Giggles as Rinku speaks.)

Rinku:              (Babbling.)  Um, nothing, just, uh, thinking out loud.  (Whispering to Tingle so that the lady won’t hear him.)  What do you want?

Tingle:             (Laughing)  You smell.

Rinku:              (Tired)  What do you want?

Tingle:             Just want to keep you company.  Waiting rooms can be so drab.

Rinku:              Thank you but I . . .

Old Lady:         (Moving curtain, walking into the room.)  I may be old, but I’m not deaf.  Who are you talking to?

Rinku:              Oh, nothing.

Tingle:             (Feigning offence.)  I don’t know why I put up with you.

Old Lady:         Well, here is the medicine for you in the red jar and here is the medicine for that poor raft maker in the blue one.  Simply drink it and pull that tentacle off, but watch out, it’ll smart.

Rinku:              (Pops off cork from glass vial, and drinks the contents.)  Just pull the tentacle off, hu?  (Tugs really hard.)  YEOUCH!

Tingle/OL:       (Both laugh.)

Rinku:              (Frustrated.)  Yeah, ha, ha.  (Rubs hands.)  Well . . . thanks for the medicine.

Old Lady:         For your information, to get back to the lake, just follow the path to the left of my house.

Rinku:              There was a path?

 

Narrator:          Well, the return trip was certainly much easier than going to the swamp.

 

(Door opens and then closes.)

Clerk:               (Still sick.)  Welcome to my raft shop.  Sorry, but business has been . . . oh, it’s you again.  What happened?  You look—and smell—terrible.

Rinku:              I got you this blue medicine.  It should make you feel better.  (The bottle is put on the counter.)

Clerk:               (Picks it up.)  Wow, that was pretty quick.  Thanks.  (Opens bottle, drinks it.  Still sounds sick.)  I feel better already.

Rinku:              You don’t sound like it.

Clerk:               That’ll come in time.  So, let us discuss this raft for you.  Since you managed to get me my medicine, I will let you use a raft free of charge provided that you return it in tip-top condition tomorrow.

Rinku:              Sounds good.  Do you need help making it?

Clerk:               No, just sit back and watch the master.

 

Narrator:          Mere minutes pass...

 

Clerk:               Wola!  One sea-worthy raft.

Rinku:              That was fast . . . and are you sure that I don’t owe you anything?

Clerk:               No problem.  Use it free of charge.

Rinku:              (Emphasizing point.)  I really appreciate this.

Clerk:               No problem.  You can launch from behind the shop.  And tell me what it is like over there, I am beginning to forget what the other shore looks like because it’s been so long since I’ve been there.

Rinku:              Will do.  And thank you.

Clerk:               You can stop thanking me now, please.

Rinku:              Um, right.  Okay.  Good bye.

(Door opens; door closes.)

 

Narrator:          I left the raft shop ready to cross the lake.  It made me wonder, if Piaba and Jonesi were still following me, how would they cross the lake to the other side?  Laughing to my self, I told myself that only I had the people skills to get a free raft and that they would be stuck here while I valiantly recovered the second Triforce fragment.

                        Still covered in the stench of quicksand and swamp mud but with a smile on my face, I waded out into the lake up to my waist with the raft under arm.  I set it on the water, climbed on, and with a paddle, began my voyage across the lake.  I never was a seafaring man, I preferred to keep my feet on solid ground, but the gentle waters of Lake Hylia was quite relaxing.  I would have to voyage by water more often . . . or not!

                        Without any warning, a large burst of water flew into the air from before me.  It was caused by what now sat in the water before me: a human fish.  Remembering the book of Hylian creatures Jonesi was reading before we split up, I knew that this was what was called a Zora.  It had black eyes, scale-y blue skin, and fins emerging from its head and arms.

                        After a brief moment of examining my raft and myself, it opened its mouth and spit a fireball at me!  Be it by luck or skill, I dodged the projectile which came at me from such close proximity.  I was reluctant to draw my shield or sword because should I drop them, they would surely sink to the lakebed.  I then tried my luck in maneuvering the boxy raft.  I paddled as fast as I could as the zora submerged and reappeared in front of me.  This time I could not dodge a fireball, so I took a swing at the creature with my paddle.  The good news was that I gashed the creature with the sharp paddle; the bad news was that I broke my paddle; the worse news was that three more zora took its place.  Before I could act, three fireballs were en route to my raft.  They struck and sent me and splinters of wood flying everywhere.  The next thing I knew, my armor was pulling me to the bottom of the lake as I frantically clawed to resurface.  The more I sank, the colder and darker my world got and soon everything was black and silent.

 

 

CHAPTER SEVEN

 

(Not much is known of what is going on.  When the scene begins, there is silence but the sounds fade in.  Voices can be heard, but no one should be able to understand what they are saying.  The voices are muffled and sound worried.  Occasionally, a gavel is heard.  It is an argument.)

 

Narrator:          I had the worst headache I had ever been privy to having in my entire life.  Even the octorock couldn’t top this.  It was the only thing that told me I still had life in my body since the rest of me was numb.  I began to struggle to return to the surface of the lake when I realized that I was breathing regularly, I wasn’t in water anymore.  I slowly came to realize that I was tied up and my bandana was pulled over my eyes so that I couldn’t see.

                        Struggling, I managed to use my knees to push the bandana partially up to my forehead.  My vision, though still obstructed by the bandana, slowly returned as I strained to see what situation I was in.

                        For starters, I had been disarmed and had my armor removed.  I sat in a puddle of water, soaked, in only my undergarments.  I couldn’t tell where my belongings were located, but I soon came to realize who did this.  In front of me was a large hall, though I couldn’t see, since I was off in a corner.  I guessed that it was full of those Zora things since I could make out one or two sitting down on benches.  They were talking about me.  I figured that if they were discussing me, they should consult an expert on the ins and outs of myself—me!

 

Rinku:              (Strained voice.)  Hello?  If anyone can hear me, I would like to speak on my own behalf!

Zora Elder:      (Distant)  . . . and it now appears as if the intruder is awake.  Let us hear what he has to say about these issues I have brought before you.  Bring him in.

 

Narrator:          I was harshly dragged into the center of an auditorium shaped like a giant conch shell.  The rows of Zora spiraled upward while I was in the middle, the center of attention.  The Zora elder stood with even older looking Zora sitting by her sides and another Zora with a bloody face.  This was no doubt the one I hit with the paddle.  The crowd gasped when they saw me and began to make a hideous sound that was probably the human equivalent to booing.

                        I needed to say something quick and simple now before I could be censured.  It was my only hope.

 

Rinku:              I was acting in self-defense!!

(The crowd roars in anger.)

 

Narrator:          I got their attention.  Evidently I was the attacker in the story they were told...

 

Zora Elder:      How dare you lie to us like that, mercenary?  What cause would we have to attack?

Rinku:              I dunno!  All I know is that I acted in self-defense.  I was on my raft when one of you guys jumped out of the water and spit a fireball at me.  I tried to escape but he jumped out again.  Afraid that he would spit another fireball at me, I hit him with my paddle.

(The Zora hissing/booing sound roars upward again.)

Zora Elder:      Silence!  (Crowd dies down.)  You are given the right to sit in on trials, but that can be revoked!  Behave or be locked out.  (To Rinku.)  So, mercenary, do you have any proof that we attacked you first?

Rinku:              No.  I was by myself.  And . . . I never drew my weapons to attack.  If I meant to maim and destroy, I surely wouldn’t have used a flimsy wooden paddle!

Zora Elder:      Hmm.  And what say you of this?  This was found on your person, do you know what it is?

Rinku:              Hey!  That isn’t yours, is it?  Princess Zelda asked me to get it for her.  It is one of her jewels.  She calls it the Triforce.

Zora Elder:      Very interesting.  This complicates things.  (Long silence.)

Rinku:              (Nervous.)  What?

Zora Elder:      We Zora also call it the Triforce.  But it is more than just one of the Princess’ jewels.  In fact, it doesn’t belong to her, it belongs to all of us.

Rinku:              It belongs to the Zora?

Zora Elder:      No, it belongs to every citizen of Hyrule.  The Princess is simply one of three guardians of it.  If you see it only as a jewel, you are selling it short and you aren’t worthy of even being in its presence.

Rinku:              I feel very uniformed right now.  All the Princess told me was that I needed to reassemble it to end a civil war.

Zora Elder:      Who else knows of these instructions?

Rinku:              Me, all of you now, I guess, and my two friends.  But, I don’t know where they are right now.  We kinda split up for the time being.

Zora Elder:      If any member of the Knights of Hyrule or the Royal Guard found out, you do realize that Zelda would be executed for issuing such orders.

Rinku:              What?  Oh man, Jonesi was right, I just ran into something way over my head.

Zora Elder:      The Hylian civil war of the Knights of Hyrule versus the Royal Family is due to who holds possession of the Triforce.

Rinku:              Yeah, that is what I was told, sort of.  I was told that both the Knights of Hyrule and the Royal Family are corrupt and they're grappling over the Triforce to see who will hold the throne.  And if a Knight recovered the missing Triforce, then they will be accused of stealing it while the same is true for the Royalty.  If a Royal finds it, they will be accused of being the thieves, so a third party should return it and claim that neither party took it and then the corruption will be exposed.

Zora Elder:      You are not as uninformed as you may think.  What you say is true.  After a bizarre religious cult failed to ransom the King of Hyrule in exchange for the Triforce, the King hid the relic from the public.  Many years passed of demands to return the Triforce to the people.  The King consented and right before he was scheduled to return it after years of absence, it was leaked to the public that the Triforce was stolen.  The Royalty instantly blamed the Knights who said that no matter what, they would return the Triforce to the people.  The Knights accused the Royalty of greed and hoarding its power to ensure their right to the throne.

                        Shortly after, the Knights left the Royalty and disappeared; that is until the raids began.

Rinku:              Yeah, I heard of that.  I was told they were looking for something valuable.  The Triforce I assume?  But what would villagers have to do with it?

Zora Elder:      No body knows, but this story has another layer that involves an ancient legend of the guardians.  One guardian protects each Triforce when they embody one of the three traits.  Zelda is the guardian of the Wisdom fragment, the Captain of the Guards, Leon, is the guardian of the Courage fragment, which we found you in possession of.  The Power fragment has been said to be cursed by the last person who held it and no person has been able to use it. 

Rinku:              Who was the last one to hold it?

Zora Elder:      A Gerudo thief who became an evil wizard and the prince of Darkness.  He goes by many names, but the two most dominant ones are Gannondorf Dragmire or Mandrag Ganon. 

Rinku:              (Shuddering.)  Ganon?  But many people told me that he is a myth.

Zora Elder:      Not a myth to us Zora.  He once held control over our people with the Triforce’s Power.

Rinku:              So, it seems that you are in favor of reassembling the Triforce to return it to the people of Hyrule.  And that is my job.

Zora Elder:      Are you suggesting that we set you free?

Rinku:              Well, truth be told . . . yes.

(Crowd roars in anger.)

Zora Elder:      Silence!!

(Crowd still screams.)

Elder 1:            We other Zora elders and the Zora people have been very patient.  You have humored his questions long enough.  If you consider letting this spy of the Hylians, this mercenary of low repute go, then you will make a mockery of the Zora legal system!

Elder 2:            You will lose your position, I swear to it!

Elder 3:            It will be the downfall of the Zora race, you want to murder us all?

Zora Elder:      SILENCE!!

(No silence comes.)

Injured Zora:    But he attacked me!  You will let this crime go unpunished? 

Elder 1:            You cannot trust him!

Elder 2:            Impeachment, that is the punishment of rulers who break our laws.

Injured Zora:    Behold my wounds, he is guilty.  Do not make a mockery of justice!

Elder 3:            You can set him free, but he will be slain before he can enjoy his liberation.

(Loud, sudden angelic whistle fills the hall, everyone writhes in pain and falls silent.)

 

Narrator:          I could not believe it.  What was just the heaviest jewel I had ever carried suddenly was glowing with green light and floating in mid air.  When the crowd became silent, the Triforce, as if knowing it completed its task, lost its glow and fell to the floor, again the world’s heaviest paperweight.

 

(Long silence.)

Zora Elder:      We have beheld the working of the goddess Faroe.  The Triforce has vouched for this boy’s courage, we have all beheld his knowledge of the situation and he is quite wise.  This court is based on the goddess Nayru and all of her wisdom.  We would be forsaking two goddesses if he is not freed, if not by my power, but by that of the Triforce.

 

Narrator:          Two Zora guards approached me and slit my bindings.  I moved my arms and legs for the first time in hours.  As my blood flow returned, I got that tingly feeling all over my body.  Once I recovered from that, I scooped the Triforce from the floor.  Damn, it was heavy.  I wondered if I was hallucinating when I saw it levitate.

                        I was then instructed to prepare for the rest of my journey.  I was cleaned up, my arms and armor was returned.  Where the water had badly damaged my leather armor, the Zora had repaired it to better condition that it was before our encounter.  My helmet, sword, and metal armor was polished.  I was then lead outside the dark courtroom and the setting sun which danced across the lake’s water greeted me.  Apparently, I was on a small island someplace in the middle of the lake.

                        Beside me stood the Zora Elder.  Silently we watched the sun set.  Then she spoke.

 

Zora Elder:      You seek to save Hyrule, do you?  You will need the Triforce of Wisdom.  It is hidden deep below the blue waters of this lake in an ancient dungeon.  Dungeons are scattered throughout this land.  Nobody remembers why they were built, but they remain buried beneath us, hidden, withholding secrets from a time long ago.

                        Go now, and continue your quest.  You will find that your armor has been waterproofed and that you have a pair of swimming fins.  Please return peace to Hyrule.

Rinku:              I will.  And thank you.

 

Narrator:          I was told where to find the entrance to the dungeon, so I bid my new friend farewell and slowly walked into the cold waters of the lake.  I pulled on the fins and dove into the black aquatic darkness.

                        Much to my surprise, my armor no longer weighed me down, nor did my backpack.  I was free to glide through the water faster than I would have been able to in the cumbersome raft.  As I swam, a mist slowly hovered above the black water which mirrored the starry sky.

                        Soon I came to my destination, a solitary island, completely obscured by two jetting chunks of land.  I climbed from Lake Hylia shivering as the cold night air blew against my wet body.  All my lairs of clothes did little to keep me warm while dripping with water.

 

Rinku:              (Talking to himself, shivering.)  This is it, hu?  I don’t see anything.  A couple trees, probably dead by the way they’re hung, tall grass, and a circle of stones.

Tingle:             Hey Rinku, why don’t you see what is going on with those stones?

Rinku:              (Sighing, and still shivering.) You really think so?  That was exactly what I was going to do. 

Tingle:             Sorry, I was just trying to help.

Rinku:              (Walking, shivering.)  Yeah, I know.  It is just that sometimes you appear out of nowhere telling me things I already know.  It isn’t that I hate you or anything, it is just that if I need help, I’ll ask.

Tingle:             Okay.  Less help for the big boy.

Rinku:              (Stops walking, shivering.)  This is the stone ring I saw.  Looks old.  Do you see any special writing, Tingle?

Tingle:             No, but you look really cold.  I wish I could do something for you.

(A few rocks are moved, Rinku walks around looking for clues.)

Rinku:              In the middle here, there is some type of figure-stone.  Does that symbol on it look like a lightning bolt to you?

Tingle:             Hmmm.  Yes, I would say that it does.  What do you suppose it means.

Rinku:              I don’t know what it means, but I will tell you what it makes me think of: that medal that the old man in Kakariko village gave me.  A Thunder Spell.  He said that Hylians could perform magic and that being human I would be incapable of doing so.  Perhaps this coin will do something if I can’t.  (Shuffles through pocket and removes coin.)  It looks like the Thunder Spell medallion bears the same mark as this stone.  Let me just put the medallion in the gap in the stone.

Tingle:             Could you hurry.  It looks like clouds are brewing, I don’t want it to rain and get me all wet.

Rinku:              Sure, but it isn’t going in all the way, I think.  (Slaps the stone with his hand to force the coin in.)  Perhaps if I hit it with something harder, like a hammer...

Tingle:             Which you don’t have.

Rinku:              But I can hit it with the butt of my sword.  (Unclasps sword and draws it.)

 

Narrator:          I drew my sword from my sheath and raised it over my head, ready to strike when without warning a bolt of lighting shot from the sky and a loud crash of thunder echoed throughout the land.  I was blinded by the sudden discharge, but when I looked around, the center stone had sunk into the ground and bubbles could be heard coming up from the lake.  I ran over to investigate.

 

Tingle:             Wow!  Those bubbles must mean that a gate opened underwater or something.

Rinku:              Then the dungeon is underwater.  (Runs into the lake again.)

 

Narrator:          Once again, I was under the black waters, barely able to see anything.  Feeling around for an opening, and occasionally surfacing to breathe, I found the entrance to the dungeon.  I swam through a dark corridor hoping to find a pocket of air before I met a watery grave

 

Rinku:              (Gasping for air.)  I made it!  Air!  (Breathing heavily.)  Where am I?

Tingle:             I don’t know, but having a candle would be nice.

Rinku:              I don’t think so, with all the water dripping from the ceiling, it would go out quick.  What we need is a lantern, or the Triforce to start glowing again.

Tingle:             You know Rinku, some forest fairies can glow.

Rinku:              Can you?

Tingle:             (Sarcastic.)  Do you see me glowing?

Rinku:              I didn’t think so . . . and for a place that is so wet, in a lake that is so cold, why is it so warm and muggy in here?  It is hard to breathe.

Tingle:             I notice that too now.  (Teasing)  I guess since you can’t see me you wouldn’t mind if due to the heat I removed some of my...

Rinku:              Wait!  I just noticed something.  As my eyes get used to the darkness, I can see a faint glow coming off of the walls, like some kind of glowing algae.

Tingle:             Then I guess I won’t remove anything.

Rinku:              What are you talking about, Tingle?  I can’t see you anyway.

Tingle:             How do I know that?  It could be some trick..

Rinku:              (Laughing.)  Come on, you’re a fairy.  And aren’t fairies short?

Tingle:             (False anger.)  What you don’t like short girls?

Rinku:              You’re funny.  Now come along, I can see where we are going now.

 

Narrator:          The dungeon was hideous to behold once my eyes adjusted to the darkness.  Shackles and restraints, still holding their barnacle coated prisoners, hung from the high ceilings, projected from the walls, and jetted from the floor.  It was obvious that at one point this chamber was submerged in water.

                        More proof was that the only exit, save for the one I used to enter the dungeon, was located a great distance up a wall with a small swimming-pool type ladder at its door.  If I was to get up there, I would have to flood this room.  But how?

 

Rinku:              Take a look at this room, it looks as if one wall isn’t really a wall, but it is a giant dam.  Do you see anything that can release it, Tingle?

Tingle:             I see three levers over here by this barnacle-encrusted skeleton.  I also see three notches on the dam-wall.  Each lever must move one of the notches so that when all of them are turned, the dam will open.

Rinku:              My sentiments exactly.  (Walks over to levers and strains.)  Ugh!  These things are rusted shut!  (Kicks one of them a few times and the metallic sound echoes throughout the tall chamber.)  Ugh!!!  (The lever finally shifts and a clicking sound is heard.)  Well shoot.

Tingle:             It looks like two notches moved on the dam.  Moving the other ones might return them to their original position.

Rinku:              Let’s find out.  (Kicks anther lever.)  I’ll knock off the rust, and pull this lever . . . (Pulls lever, clicking sound is heard.) . . . and watch as the two open notches close and the closed notch opens.  This looks like some sort of puzzle.  I hate puzzles.

Tingle:             (Not sounding happy, which she always is, but rather scared.)  Um, Rinku, would you rather fight?

Rinku:              Yeah, I’d rather fight that play mind games, why?

Tingle:             Because, well, you know those skeletons hanging from the wall, I don’t think they are really skeletons.  I think they are stalfos, skeletal warriors.  Eep!  Look out!

Rinku:              Uh-oh!  (Sword sound as stalfos swing at Rinku and miss.)

 

Narrator:          Tingle was right.  The skeletons in the room had come to life!  They picked up a few scattered weapons that lay rusted on the floor and began to swing at me.  I had no idea what to do.  Should I work on the levers or fight the stalfos?

                        I fumbled to put on my helmet and drew my sword and shield.  A large number outnumbered me.  Before being attacked again, I kicked a lever, hoping it would open the dam’s lock.  No such luck.

                        I brought my sword down upon the unprotected head of my enemy as I shuffled over to another lever.  It crumbled to a pile of bones at my feet, but didn’t stay that way.  The same force that allowed these skeletons to stand brought that one back up again.  This was so unfair!

                        As my attention wandered between the levers and my enemies, a loud splitting sound was heard as one of the stalfos broad-sided my shield with it’s weapon.  I took a moment to compose my self and spun two full circles with my outstretched sword, knocking the surrounding enemies down long enough for me to run back to the levers.

 

Rinku:              (Short on breath.)  Come on, be it.  (Pulls lever, clicking sound follows.)  Damnit!  (Pulls two more levers, clicking sounds follow.  He is disappointed.)  What the?  Shoot!  (Grunts.)  Aw, those stalfos are back again.

 

Narrator:          Once again, the fallen skeletons had risen to their feet for the sole task of cutting me to ribbons.  I wouldn’t allow it.  Once again, I spent a great amount of effort to reduce the stalfos ranks.  But the barnacle-coated creatures with their rusty blades kept coming back to life.  But while they were down, I took the time to run back to the levers.

 

Tingle:             Hurry!  They are getting back up!!

Rinku:              (Pulls lever, clicking sound.)  I am trying.  I am the one who has to fight them after all!  (Pulls lever, clicking sound.)  Why won’t it open?  Why won’t . . . dargh! 

Tingle:             RINKU!!

 

Narrator:          A Stalfos had slashed me pretty good on my back while I was pulling the levers and had then grabbed onto my body, ready to finish me off.

 

Rinku:              Get off-a me!  (Pulls lever, loud clang sound.)  What was that?

(A low rumbling sound fills the air.)

Tingle:             You did it!

Rinku:              Oh shi—

(Water crashes down on everything.)

 

Narrator:          Several tons of water smashed down on the stalfos and myself as the gate finally opened, flooding the room, just as I had wanted.  However, I had neglected to think that the water would be falling right on top of me.

                        Now very deep under water, I struggled to sheath my sword and shield while still fighting the stalfos.  I needed both hands to swim to the surface.  That in itself was a problem because with the amount of force the rushing water had, I was disoriented and the steam kept pushing me back down to the bottom where the stalfos were.

                        For the second time that day, my world began to fade to black as I slowly lost consciousness beneath the cold waters of Lake Hylia.  But this time, I saw a figure hovering above me.  With the last of my effort, as my back throbbed from my wound, I swam as fast as I could, following it.  It moved faster, so I swam faster and then,

 

Rinku:              (Sucking in air.)  Gaaaaaah!  (Gasping, dripping wet.)  I, I made it . . . (Swims over to ladder, climbs out and stands on hands and knees.)  Ugh, I need to take this off.  (Removes helmet and tosses it to the soaked ground.  Continues breathing heavily for a while.)

Tingle:             You almost didn’t make it.

Rinku:              (Still gasping for air.)  It’s been that kind of day.  I wouldn’t be surprised if I had another near drowning before sun-up.

Tingle:             Don’t joke like that, I almost lost you!

Rinku:              Who said I was joking?  (Silence.)  Was, was that you I saw above me?  As I was under there?

Tingle:             (Giddy.)  You finally saw me?  I was trying to lead you back up to the surface.

Rinku:              Thank you.  (Begins to stand up, groans in pain.)

Tingle:             Your back doesn’t look too good.  Your surcoat and armor is shredded back there!

Rinku:              I’m not bleeding profusely or anything, am I?

Tingle:             Well, no.

Rinku:              Then the armor did just what it was supposed to.  I’ll have to get that fixed, though.

 

Narrator:          Even though my spine burned, I knew that proper armoring had spared me my life.  I even felt proud that I took on so many undying creatures and succeeded without the help of Jonesi or Piaba.  But I also took the moment to rest.  After sitting in silence surrounded by the dank dungeon and the soft glow of the algae, I got to my feet, strapped on my wet helm, and followed the corridor that lay beyond me.

                        The farther I went, the more muggy and wet the air became and the more skeletons that lined the hall.  I kept my defenses up incase one or all made an attempt on my life.

                        Soon, it opened up into a large open area that was partially flooded.  I could see the air waft as I walked through it.  The stone walls now looked organic as they pulsed with a steady beat.  Even more skeletons were in this chamber, but they were different, it looked as if they fell in battle and were eaten.

 

Rinku:              (Creeped out.)  Needless to say, Tingle, I don’t like this.

Tingle:             (Even more scared.)  Then don’t look above you.

Rinku:              (As if he was told there was no Santa Claus)  This can’t be.

Tingle:             I warned you.

 

Narrator:          This was one of the most vile abominations I had ever before witnessed in my entire existence.  A large crab-like monster crawled across the ceiling dripping body fluids as it went.  The pulsating walls was the result of it laying millions of eggs.  Upon seeing me with its single giant eye, the crab leaped down to the ground, shaking the entire dungeon and dropping several eggs from the walls which split open to reveal a living replica of the beast.

                        As if fighting larvae wasn’t bad enough, the thing had the audacity to begin spitting globs of fluid at me as I stood shocked by the entire scene.

                        Having no choice, I had to slay the creature which I would later know it to be as Ghoma.  Ghoma kept a steady stream of those globs flying at me.  Jumping over the larvae, I made my way to their queen and landed a blow right on the creature’s center . . . which did absolutely nothing.  Ghoma’s shell was too thick for my sword to penetrate.  With one swift movement of its terrible claw, I was flung back against the wall.  As I hit the egg-coated wall, more larvae hatched onto me.

                        Their oozing juices burned my flesh as I tore them from me.  In agony and rage, I charged Ghoma again and began hacking at its shell.  I was once again flung back, but this time into the skeletal remains of the last would-be hero.

 

Rinku:              (In complete pain.)  Aaaaaaaagh!

 

Narrator:          I felt the boned crunch as I struggled to get up again.  The large eye glowed in the darkness, taking a feral pleasure in my torture.  One part of the skeleton didn’t splinter when I landed on it.  It was a quiver of arrows.  They were moldy, but still looked good enough.  I frantically searched the corpse’s remnants hoping to find the weapon that the arrows belonged to.  Sure enough, there was a crossbow.

 

Rinku:              (Very hurt.)  No!  Nooo!

 

Narrator:          There was a crossbow without a cord.  I would have shot an arrow into Ghoma’s eye had the crossbow only had a cord!  By now the monster and spawn had surrounded me.  I darted to the left hoping to avoid being given another concussion by the huge claw.  I made my way around the room hoping to find another crossbow, a long bow, or a spear.  I had no such luck.

                        But I wasn’t beaten yet.  A fresh corpse lay before me, one that had not been completely eaten by the larvae.  Saying the quickest prayer ever for the poor soul, I plunged my hands into his body and pulled out what would be a make-shift string for my bow.  Having once before stringing an instrument with sinew, I fudged my way through the preparation of the crossbow.  My hands were on fire from the terrible slime that covered them as they quickly moved to tie the necessary knots.

                        I spun around with my weapon and shot an arrow into the eye of Ghoma.  A quick burst of liquid squirted from it as the arrow sunk into the only soft spot.  It was blinded and bleeding to death.  But that made it no easier to deal with.  It began carelessly throwing its body around hoping to smash me.  It came close too many times, but ended up killing most of its larvae.  It also broke off enough eggs from the wall to reveal something else.

 

Tingle:             Look Rinku, the Triforce of Wisdom!

 

Narrator:          I dashed over to the wall and climbed up the eggs.  With all of my effort, I pulled the Triforce from the wall.  Still covered in the poisonous slime, I ran off with the valuable hoping to find an exit before Ghoma caved the room in.  But I was too late.  Ghoma had knocked down too many pillars in the room and the corroding ceiling began spilling water into the room.

                        It was de-ja-vu.  Tons of water smashed down on top of me as Ghoma and its spawn spun around me in the current.  With its wound, I knew that it would surely perish.  But with all of my wounds, I hoped to not share its fate.  The dark cold waters of Lake Hylia again engulfed me as I went limp and drifted in the depths of the flooded dungeon.

 

(Fade out.  Pause.  Fade in.  Crickets can be heard, an owl, and a breeze through tree tops.)

 

Rinku:              (In excruciating suffering) What?  Where--

Voice:              (Soothing.)  Shh!  Relax.  You’re going to be okay. 

Rinku:              Zelda?

Zelda:              Yes, it’s me.  You need to rest while I tend to these wounds.

Rinku:              I hurt . . . but I got it . . . the Triforce of Wisdom.  All I need is one more.

Zelda:              Yes, Power.  But please Rinku, please be silent.  Save your strength.  I’m here for you.  Just relax.  (She begins to sing.  Slowly fade out as the soft, ambient sounds take over.) 

 

 

CHAPTER EIGHT

 

(Waves splash against the shores of Lake Hylia.)

Rinku:              (Surprised.)  Ugh!

(Sound of pushing and something jumping away onto the water.)

Rinku:              What was that?  (Shocked.)  Lake Hylia?  I’m on the shore.  I’m alive!!  (Pause.)  My wounds, they’ve been dressed and wrapped.  Was she here?  Zelda..?

Piaba:              (In the distance.)  Hey, Jonesi, over here.  I found him!  (Runs over to Rinku in the sand.)  Thank god, are you alright?  I saw something on top of you just now.  A tektite I think.

Rinku:              (Dazed.)  She was here.  Look!

Piaba:              Who was here?  Where did these bandages come from?

Jonesi:             (In the distance.)  There you are.  (Runs over to Rinku and Piaba in the sand.)  What happened?

Rinku:              I got it.  I got the Triforce of Wisdom.  (Opens bag and takes out the Triforces.)  See?  Courage here and Wisdom right here. 

Piaba:              You were gone all day and all night.  When you crossed the lake, we lost track of you. 

Jonesi:             Well, you did it after all.  Congratulations.

Rinku:              No, I almost didn’t make it at all several times!  Three near-drownings, damaged armor, and burns all over my body from some monster’s jelly-like excretements...I need you guys!

Piaba:              I’m glad to hear it.  And I am glad that you have proven yourself.

Jonesi:             (Helps Rinku up off the sand.)  Come on, pal.  We have one more piece to get before the Princess is done with us and we go.

 

Narrator:          (Repeating what Jonesi just said.)  “We have one more piece to get before the Princess is done with us and we can go.”  This isn’t what I wanted to hear, but I realized it was true.  If I got all three Triforce pieces together again, Zelda wouldn’t need me anymore.  I felt sick to my stomach.

 

(The trio are walking.)

Rinku:              (Shuffles through pockets and pulls out the instrument he was given.)

Jonesi:             That flute-thingy again?  Know how to play it?

Rinku:              (Toots on it a few times incoherently.)

Piaba:              I guess not.

Rinku:              (A bit depressed.)  Hold on, let me try.  I think I’m getting the hang of it.  (A few more tries.)  I think I have the scale down now.  (Begins to repeat the tune Zelda sang as she treated his wounds in the dream he had after defeating Ghoma.)

Jonesi:             Sounds kinda nice.

Piaba:              I like it.

(Tune becomes more dominant as ambient sounds die.  Rinku’s mind spins as they walk.)

 

Rinku:              (Thinking.)  I can’t complete this quest.  I’m unwanted in this land and the only thing that keeps me here is her and this task.  Once I complete it, I will be expected to leave.  That’s what happens when mercenaries complete their task.  They get paid and leave.  But I’m not even being paid.  I never really told that to Jonesi or Piaba.

                        But on the other hand, I made a promise to Zelda.  I said that I’d restore peace to this kingdom.  Argh!  What is worse?  Losing her or letting her down?

 

Piaba:              Hey Rinku.  (Breaking Rinku’s thought process, ambient sound returns, Rinku stops playing.)  A rupee for your thoughts.

Rinku:              Um . . . (changing topic) why don’t we rest.  Death Mountain is a little farther ahead and we should conserve our energy for any more fighting that may come today.

Jonesi:             Sounds good.  I see a spot ahead where it looks like a large camp was once located.  (They walk a bit and then stop.)  Doesn’t look like they stayed very long.  Like they were here for only a few minutes before leaving again.

Piaba:              Yup.  And that rock over there looks awfully suspicious.  If anything is under there, it is almost as if they are ASKING to be found.  Help me move it, will you?

(The three push the rock over.  A secret passage!)

Rinku:              A stairway.  See, it is a good thing we stopped.  (They walk down the narrow stairs into a dark cave lit by two torches.)

Man:                (Snappy, bitter.)  Who are ya?

Jonesi:             We’re mercenaries.  Who are you?

Man:                Ah!  How pleasant.  My type of men.  I’m a merchant . . . Buy something will ya?

Rinku:              Got anything to mend my armor and surcoat?

Merchant:        Suuuure.

Piaba:              Got any food?  Um, edible food?

Merchant:        Suuuure.

Jonesi:             Got any women?

Merchant:        No, but I got something that’ll give you a bigger bang for your buck.

Jonesi:             (Half amused.)  Oooooh!

Merchant:        This is my wonderful bomb satchel.  It holds some of the most powerful knockers you’ll ever clutch in yer hands.

Jonesi:             (Completely amused.)  Oooooh!

Merchant:        Will that be it?  That’ll be 500 rupees.

Jonesi:             (To the others, feeling quite spry.)  While in Kakariko I managed to procure the local currency.

Rinku:              (Disappointed.)  Aw man.  As if we didn’t have a worse enough reputation.

Merchant:        Thank you, please come again.

(The trio leave the cave.)

Jonesi:             I got a bigger bang for my buck.

Piaba:              You aren’t planning to do to those bombs what you are alluding to, are you?

Rinku:              (Laughs.)

Jonesi:             Aw, shaddup.  Death Mountain, here we come.

 

Narrator:          Uneventful hours pass as we three walk the dirt path back north to Death Mountain.  But the monotony abruptly ended upon reading a sign just outside of Kakariko village, at the base of the mighty mountain range.

 

Piaba:              “Wanted: Three mercenaries wanted to discuss theft of Triforce.  Issued by Leon, Captain of the Guards.”  Aw man.  None of us told anyone about this, right?

Rinku:              Told?  No.  But this old man just, well, he guessed about it.  And there were these fish back at the lake...well, Zora actually.

Piaba:              Now what are we going to do?  This makes both missions harder.  We won’t be able to find our missing party members or find that last jewel if the entire Royal Guard is looking for us.

Jonesi:             Nice going, Rinku.  Tell the world.

Rinku:              The old man wanted to help me, and he did!  Without this coin he gave me . . .

Piaba:              (Snaps)  Shh!  I’m thinking.

Jonesi:             Think as we hike up Death Mountain, okay?  (Begins to walk.)

Rinku:              (Follows.)

Piaba:              (A little reluctant, but also follows.)  You know, perhaps none of us have anything to do with telling.  The guard may just want to know if during our travels we may have come across anyone who would stand to gain from this war.  Or perhaps this Princess Zelda told and since the King didn’t want us, he wants to inquire into our mission thus far.

Rinku:              I am getting a bad vibe.  Perhaps . . . perhaps I shouldn’t return the Triforce.  If we are suspected of stealing it, it changes everything should we be the ones discovered actually having it!

(They walk in silence.)

Jonesi:             I see the beginning of the mountain range ahead.  Boulders block the mountain pass.

Rinku:              I was told there are avalanches going on up there and that we should expect this.  Jonesi, I think you know what you need to do.

Jonesi:             Yeah.  Bigger bang for my buck.  One bomb coming right up, little guy.  (Opens bag, removes bomb, sets it on ground.)  Hey, these bombs came with a free flint stone.  That was some value.  (Strikes stone, spark ignites fuse.)

Piaba:              Let’s take cover.

(They run behind a rock as the fuse burns.)

Rinku:              Then again, on second thought, is setting off an explosion in a landslide prone mountain pass truly the wisest thing to be doing?

Piaba:              You know, I never thought of that.

(Bomb explodes and the sound echoes throughout all of Hyrule.  The entire mountain moans as rocks fall from the spot where the block once was.)

Jonesi:             See?  No problem.

Rinku:              Then what is that rumbling sound?

Piaba:              Rinku, you were right, explosions are bad.  Run!!

(Earth begins sliding down Death Mountain.)

Piaba:              (Urgent)  Hurry, through the pass before it is filled again.

(As the mountain slides down upon the three, they run like crazy, oft hit by falling boulders, but never being knocked down.)

Jonesi:             Are we having fun yet?

Piaba:              A riot.

(The stones continues to fall and slowly comes to a halt.  There is silence until stones are heard rustling as something fights to be freed.)

Piaba:              (cough)  Being buried alive (cough) is not my idea of fun.

(More stones move.)

Rinku:              (cough, cough)  First the lake, (cough) now the mountain is trying to drown me in (cough) dirt.  (Pause.)  Where’s Jonesi?

(Rocks are moved aside.)

Jonesi:             Eating dust like the rest of you.  (Cough.)  Help me up, eh?

Piaba:              Hold on.  (Climbs out from under the rocks on top of him, walks over to Jonesi, and moves the rocks on top of him.)  Give me your hand.  (They join hands and Jonesi is pulled up.)

Rinku:              Well, we succeeded in filling the mountain pass with more crap than there was when we first came.

Jonesi:             Then I guess the soldiers won’t be able to get to us up here anymore.

Piaba:              True dat.

Jonesi:             Shall we continue now?  Where are we going, Rinku?

Rinku:              According to what the Princess told me, we are looking for an old temple around here that will be surrounded by clay guardians.

 

Narrator:          Following the map that Zelda gave me, we had little problem finding this temple; although we did have a little problem in a region on the map called the lost hills.

                        The temple rose from the terracotta ground like a giant monster with the door inside being its mouth.  The spires of the temple were the fingers of the creature.  And in front, rows of clay statues stood ready to attack invaders.

 

Jonesi:             These are the clay guardians?

Rinku:              They are called armos, I think.  Legend says they keep out the bad spirits.

Jonesi:             Spirits, sure, but 'ain’t no statue going to keep me out of anything.  Especially one so old and about to crumble to pieces.

Piaba:              I wouldn’t touch that statue if I were you.

Jonesi:             And why not?  (Places hand on statue and a growling sound is heard.)

Piaba:              (Disturbed.)  I was going to say you might break it, but now I’m not so sure.

 

Narrator:          Upon Jonesi placing his hand on the statue, the clay turned into flesh and the terrible creature came into life.  The armos statue charged Jonesi.

 

Jonesi:             How the!?  (Dodges armos.)  This isn’t right!

(Piaba and Rinku draw their weapons and strap on their armor as Jonesi is being chased around.)

Rinku:              We’re coming!  (Charges armos, sword hits it.)  Gotcha!  (Armos growls in pain and whaps Rinku.)  Waaah!

Piaba:              That had to hurt.  Take this, you terracotta menace.  (Swings and misses, gets smacked.)  D’oh!

 

Narrator:          Much to our chagrin, Piaba was flung back against another statue, bringing it to life as well.  We now had two statues to battle.

 

Jonesi:             (Still running around.)  Okay, nobody touch any more statues or they will get it from me too!

Rinku:              My sword was knocked from my hand, but I found this crossbow at the lake.

 

Narrator:          As I lay on the ground stunned from my previous attack, I somehow removed the Ghoma-slaying crossbow from by backpack and fired a few bolts in the direction of the armos.  With great chance, I pinned the armos to the cliff side.

 

Jonesi:             Woah, nice shooting, Tex, but you almost hit me with those!  (Stops running.)  You have your new toy and I have mine.  (Whips out a bomb and lights it.)  Fire in the hole!!  (Chucks the bomb at the other armos while Piaba and Rinku roll to safety.  A gigantic explosion follows.)  Bwahahaha!  (Debris falls from the explosion and bounces off everyone’s armor.)  I took out even the statues that weren’t attacking us.

Rinku:              (Puts away crossbow and sheaths recovered sword.)  And with any luck we won’t have another landslide.  (Stands up and brushes off debris.)

Piaba:              (A bit far away.)  Hmm.  Take a look at this.  (Jonesi and Rinku walk over to their friend who tells us what he sees.)  The door into this temple is sealed with a giant stone.  And a landslide didn't cause it, this was put here to keep people out.  Sorry Jonesi, but I don’t think your new bombs will help us here.  (Knocks on it with hilt of blade.)  Solid.  We need another way to get in.

Rinku:              But I think it can wait.  After hiking all day, being buried by an avalanche, and attacked by statues, I think it is time to eat that lunch you bought from the merchant.

Piaba:              I agree.

Jonesi:             (Falling to the ground to sit.)  Then let’s rest.

(Piaba begins opening his bag to remove their meal.)

 

Narrator:          The merchant, for an evil-looking, grumpy miser, was quite a skillful meal maker.  Having eaten mostly Jonesi’s food for the past few days, I suppose anything tasted better, but still, it was delicious.  Afterwards, we sat in the shade of the towering cliffs as the sun beat down on the exposed, dusty mountain range. 

 

Piaba:              Yo, Rinku.  Whip out that wind instrument of yours.  We could use some music. 

Rinku:              Why don’t you play?  You’re the musician of us three.

Piaba:              I don’t know where that thing has been.  Besides, I kinda liked that song you were playing earlier today.

Jonesi:             Seemed like a local flavor.  Hear it while in the village or something.

Rinku:              (Half smiling.)  Or something.  Hold on.  (Opens pouch and removes the flute/whistle/recorder/ocarina/whatever, and begins to toot on it.  A moment is reserved to listen to the song.)  Happy?

(A click is heard and something stone-like falls.)

Jonesi:             What was that?

Piaba:              Look at the stone blocking the entrance of the temple.  It, why I think that it has moved.  (He gets up and walks over.)  It has.  I think the three of us can push the stone gate open.

Jonesi:             Let me gather our stuff.  (He does so and he and Rinku walk over to help.)

Piaba:              More rock pushing.  I hope it isn’t becoming a habit.

Rinku:              Ready?

Jonesi:             One . . . two . . . three!  (The three men strain and the rock gate slowly swings open.)  Ready to get the last piece so we can finally go?

Piaba:              Yup.  I sure hope that nothing has happened to the others while we are out here running around for your Princess, Rinku.

Rinku:              We’re tough people.

Jonesi:             Then let’s go.  (Walks into temple, the rest follow.)

 

Narrator:          So this was it, the final Triforce was in here.  And if I got it, my time here in Hyrule, my time with Zelda, would end.  Words could not describe how much I did not want to get the final piece, but I still followed my companions into the dark mouth of the creature in Death Mountain.

 

 

CHAPTER NINE

 

Narrator:          We followed the stairs down quite a ways and the deeper we got, the darker it got, the smellier it got,  and the more heat that seemed to emanate from the walls.  And it wasn’t until I tripped over something in the darkness did we realize that the deeper we got, the more damaged this location was.

 

(Walking with everyone else down the stairs.)

Piaba:              Why didn’t we buy a candle or something from that merchant?  We got flint, but nothing to light with it.

Jonesi:             We may not need it.  Look ahead, I see some glowing light.

Rinku:              Gee, it looks like there is a hole in the floor there.

Piaba:              And no place else to go.  These stairs lead to this hole.  And by the looks of it, I think that there used to be a spiral staircase here leading down there.

Jonesi:             Is that lava down there?

Piaba:              Well, I’ll be . . . you’re right.  And that is where the light is coming from.  Tie this rope to one of those pillars, we’re going down.

Rinku:              (Ties rope.)  I’ll go first.

Jonesi:             Nope, me.  You’re afraid of heights.  (Grabs rope and slides down.)  Yehaw!

Rinku:              I guess I’ll go second.  (Slides down.)

Piaba:              (Grabs rope and slides down.)  Yeouch!  Rope burns...

(Voices are echoed.)

Jonesi:             (Giggling.)  Hey Piaba, take a look at Rinku.  Those white bandages seem to be all I can see down here with the light from the lava.

Piaba:              Actually, I can see a bit more.  Notice how our voices echo?  We are in some sort of large chamber with tall pillars supporting the ceiling above us.  The ground is laid tile, and the lava seems to flow in canals, or it did at one point before this place fell into disrepair.  I don’t think anyone has been down here in a very, very long time.

Rinku:              I sure don’t see that.

Piaba:              (Half commanding, half disregarding.)  Just let your eyes adjust.

(End echoed voices.)

 

Narrator:          Sure enough, just as Piaba had said, I soon beheld a large chamber that at one point would have been the most beautiful place to behold.  The ceiling reached up so high that the luminescent lava failed to provide enough light for me to see it; however, the lower sections of the ceiling that I was able to see had wondrous paintings on them, as did the walls.  Tragically, the centuries of the lack of maintenance rendered them covered in soot and peeling.  As for the pillars, they were mighty and carved into faces at the top.  The channels carved into the floor directed flowing magma between chambers.  Over the years, the magma had managed to break free and was burning away sections of the floor and wall.  This has caused many sections of the floor and wall to collapse.  Even the pillars met their bane by the stray rivers of liquid fire.  Without the pillars, the glorious painted ceiling fell onto the decorative mosaics that made up the floor.

                        As Piaba, Jonesi, and myself began exploring the different chambers in the ancient temple, the motif was the same.  Age had twisted the former beauty of these rooms into the ruined equivalent of gnarled corpses

                        My mind wandered as I beheld these sights.  If only time could stand still, I would have been able to witness this wonderful marvel in its prime.  If time could stand still, I would never have to leave this land or the Princess.  But I had to face reality, or at least the reality that I beheld at that moment: I was powerless.  In a depressed anger, I silently tore the bandages from acid burnt flesh.  My wounds had began to heal and life would go on.  But how could I?  Would I go on to become like these ruins, forgotten and in disrepair while the rest of the world grew and prospered?

 

Jonesi:             You think too much . . .

 

Narrator:          . . . I remembered Jonesi saying at the beginning of this all.  Sure, I do that.

 

Jonesi:             What the hell is this?  Some kind of aqueduct, but it is small and high on the wall.

Piaba:              If we have nothing better to do, let’s follow it.

 

Narrator:          Minutes later. . .

 

Piaba:              A reservoir of something.  I’m gonna open it and let it run through the duct.  (Strains.)  Whew!  That’s really on there.

Jonesi:             Let me do it.  (Releases knob, liquid flows down the stone trough.)

Rinku:              Looks too thick to be water.  Smells just as bad as the rest of this place, though.

Piaba:              Jonesi, give me your flint.  If I am right, this is some kind of lamp oil.  (Jonesi goes through his stuff and hands over the flint.  Piaba strikes it and sets it to the liquid.  Flames jump from the trough.)  Ah-ha!  Behold, I have brought light to this dismal dungeon.

Rinku:              It looks even more depressing in the light.

(Bubbling sound heard.)

Jonesi:             Okay, who cut the cheese because that just smells and sounds gross!

Piaba:              What da fu—

 

Narrator:          Just as the dim light from the flames began to fill the lava filled temple, a strange ooze began to congeal on top of the magma and even began to seep up from the tiles.  It formed into human sized globs and lurched towards us.

 

Jonesi:             Gels, huu?  Let’s see how they cope with my sword.  (Draws his weapon.)

Piaba:              (Straps on helmet and draws sword.)  True dat!

Rinku:              Let’s do it.  (Tosses on helmet and draws sword.)

Piaba:              I’ll take the one on the left; Jonesi, to the right; Rinku, down the middle.

(The three dart off and soon the sound of Jell-O being hacked to pieces can be heard.)

 

Narrator:          Those little blobs, once cut in half, attacked as two smaller blobs.  However, after being cut again and again, they were soon simply puddles on the floor.  It wasn’t hard to defeat them, but as we went on to explore the rest of the temple, they kept jumping up at us at the most inopportune moments, sometimes even managing to get the better of us!

 

Piaba:              Damnit, another one got me!

Rinku:              I guess it’s my turn.  (Hacks gel to pieces.)  These things are annoying.

Jonesi:             You guys need to be careful, you can’t let anything . . . (realizes a strange scraping sound that is moving super-duper fast) . . . Aaaagh!  (Jumps forward and slides across the floor.)

Piaba:              What was that? 

Rinku:              Some kind of trap.  Look, it is resetting itself.  They are metal squares with blades sticking out.  Looks like they can poke and slice.

Jonesi:             (Standing up, frustrated.)  And they can sense when you walk between them.

Piaba:              Did you hear that?

Jonesi:             Me being almost being killed?  My ego being cut to ribbons?

Piaba:              Shh!  Listen, I heard it again.  (In the distance a roar is barely audible.)

Rinku:              I hear it too.  It is coming from that wall.  I am going over to investigate.

Jonesi:             Beware the traps.

Rinku:              (He jumps as traps speed toward him crash together; walks over to wall.  Knocks on wall)  It sounds hollow.  How many bombs do you have left, Jonesi?

Jonesi:             Four.

Rinku:              Toss me one.  (Jonesi chucks one and Rinku receives it.)

Jonesi:             Nice catch.

(The fuse is lit and the three scuttle to safety just before the explosion decimates the wall.)

Piaba:              Bada-bing, bada-boom, our new door.  And behind it, a long hall lined with statues.

Jonesi:             Like the ones outside?

Piaba:              No, different.

Rinku:              And traps?

Piaba:              From the looks of it, behind each statue.  We are going to have to charge.

Jonesi:             Ready?  On your mark, get set, GO!

(They begin to dart through the corridor as the traps come together, trying to cut them, but fireballs can be heard too.)

Jonesi:             (Running, so he is hard on breath.)  What the hell?  The statues are shooting fireballs at us!

Rinku:              Keep running!

(Final trap closes.)

Piaba:              (Panting.)  I am not used to all this running.

Jonesi:             (Tired.)  I’m not used to half the stuff we’ve seen the past few days: winged lizards, talking weasels, giant fighting bulldogs, gels, living statues, fireball throwing statues, and I am sure that there is more that I haven’t seen yet.

Rinku:              Kinda like what is staring us down right now?

Jonesi:             Gulp...

 

Narrator:          Before us were two very large creatures.  They were incredibly large.  Each was dark green, scaly, and had three horns emerging from their broad head.  I would soon become quite close to one of these creatures in the near future, these dodongos.

                        My first inclination was to leave the room and seek out the Triforce elsewhere, but it was Jonesi, who could spot a treasure in any room, who eyed the relic hidden in a pile of rubble in the back of the room.  The dodongos weren’t going to make it easy for us to get over there.

                        The moment we entered, the two creatures attacked.  The larger, king-like dodongo opened its mouth to spew a stream of fire at us whilst the other curled into a ball and tried to run us over!  To make matters even worse, the chamber had a fireball emitting statue in each corner of the room.

 

Piaba:              Jonesi, take the fire-breathing one; Rinku, take the one rolled up; I’ll guard you two from the fireballs

Rinku:              Understood.  (Runs off to take on the rolling dodongo.)  But how do I get close enough to strike without being flattened?

Jonesi:             Oh yeah?  Well I have to be worried about being flamed!

 

Narrator:          The room was full of chaos and I had little idea what was going on; however, I still remember the sounds of that battle . . .

(The sound editor gets to write this next part: the dodongo battle.  All three are running and fighting and blocking hits.)

                        I could hear Piaba being pummeled by the fireballs as he sprinted back and forth to protect Jonesi and myself.

(More battle sounds for Piaba.  Being older than the others, he is out of breath, but steadfast.  He spends most of his time running and blocking large fireballs that would surely send Rinku or Piaba flying against a wall or might even kill them.  Piaba’s shield arm is very, very sore.)

                        Despite the loud noises echoing throughout the hall, I knew just by listening that Jonesi was having a hard time.  Neither he nor I could penetrate the rock-hard skin of these creatures.  I could barely make out his obscenities as he swore at the dodongo.

(Battle sounds for Jonesi.  The dodongo spews fire from its mouth several times.  Jonesi aggressively tries to butcher the thick skin to no avail.  He spends a lot of time blocking the flames and charging.  He is dehydrated and worn from the flames.)

                        As for myself, I had a hard enough time keeping myself alive little lone be able to even think about how to defeat my foe.  It required a power that I feared that I did not possess.  Too many times was I almost flattened.

(Rinku’s fight.  He mostly runs away from the rolling dodongo with a few attempts to hit it.  Rinku does little else and is wearing down quickly.)

(Slowly, the three action scenes fade together.  It is getting exhausting when, without warning, a sudden explosion fills the air which should scare/startle the listener.  Piaba and Rinku continue with their actions after being scared themselves.  A dodongo screams as it falls to the ground in a giant crash.)

 

Jonesi:             (Proud and arrogant.)  Whew!  That was a spicy meatball!

Piaba:              (Confused, still running and blocking.)  What did you do, Jonesi?

Jonesi:             I fed the king lizard a bomb.

Rinku:              (Running.)  Got anything for his rollie-poley counter-part?

Jonesi:             Sorry, fresh out!

 

Narrator:          I had beaten the Aquatamentus with courage; I used my wisdom to defeat Queen Gohma.  This time, I had to use power to my advantage, if not my own, the dodongo’s.  Instead of fleeing from the creature, it was time to lure it.  Running in a straight line towards the fire statues, I discarded my blade and shield to gain more speed and the maneuverability to dodge the fireballs which would hit the dinosaur behind me.  Then, at the last minute, I jumped and kicked off the wall just as the creature rolled right into the magma-filled sculpture.

 

(Dodongo screams in pain as the chamber shakes and pools of lava stream from the shattered figurine.  The trio ducks to a safe place until the tremor is finished.)

 

Piaba:              That was exhausting.  Can we get the last gem and be done with this?

Rinku:              The TRIFORCE was over here, last I checked.

(Ruble is moved some and then it is found.)

Piaba:              Found it.  And something else too.  It looks like those things were protecting a nest.  Here are some eggs that were smashed in that battle.

Jonesi:             With monsters that vicious, and this land chock-full of them, the world doesn’t need any more creatures like them around.  That is why I am going to take one of these eggs and eat it.  (Picks up egg and puts it in his bag.)

Rinku:              (Voice full of regret.)  Well, we did our job.  (Picks up Triforce of Power.)  It is time for us to return this to the proper owners.  (Puts it in bag.)

Piaba:              Are you alright, Rinku?

Rinku:              (Hiding emotions.)  Sure.  (Pause.)  Looks like the monster left a hole in the wall when it hit.  (Walks over.  The wind blows across the orifice in the cliff-side.)  Wow.  We sure are high.  Can see all of Hyrule.  (Sighs.)  You know, I’ve been thinking.  I don’t think that I really want to leave here.

(Pebbles rustle and a groan is heard.  The dodongo still lives!)

 

Narrator:          The last thing I remembered as I stood peeking out of the mountain temple was hearing a belated warning from Jonesi that the Dodongo had not yet perished.

 

JonesI:             (Screaming; voice fades away to nothing as Rinku is smacked off the mountaintop.)  Step back!

(Sound of Rinku hitting the ground after a very long fall.  Then, silence.  Fade in the sound of a violent rainstorm with trees snapping and walls collapsing.)

 

Narrator:          I knew something bad had happened.  Somehow, I was no longer conscious; my dreamscape lay before me.  This was the part of the dream that I woke up at.  Ordinarily I found myself in the strange land, made my way over the castle walls, met the mysterious woman, the storm would come and destroy everything, and I would wake up.

                        But it was not the case right now.  This time, Zelda was nowhere to be seen, but rather, over the remains of her palace, the three Triforces that I had retrieved hovered over the wasteland raining down destruction.  I was terrified.  But fortunately, the scene didn’t unfold much farther before. . .

 

(Water splash.)

Odd-ball:         (Silly guy, being serious)  Wake up, boy! 

Rinku:              (Stiff.)  Where am I?

Odd-ball:         Inside the Traveling Tipsy-Turvey Troupe’s tent on wheels.  We happened to be traveling through this land when you fell from the sky into our wagon.  It took us by surprise and all, seeing that you are suited in heavy armor, but after going through your belongings, it was pretty evident what you were.

Rinku:              What?  You know that I’m a..?

Odd-ball:         ...born performer.  Practicing dare-devil jumps in that suit of yours and these heavy triangle things are your juggling blocks.  We could use a fool like you in our performance!  From the looks of that lovely instrument, looks like you could provide our music guys with some help too.

Rinku:              You figured me out pretty good there, pal.

Odd-ball:         Call me Tipsy.  I’m the ring-leader of this group.  (Shouts to someone else and Rinku cringes.)  Hey Turvey, come in here, the new guy’s awake!

Rinku:              (Painfully.)  Ow, my head!

Tipsy:              Yeah, you got a mean welt there, good thing you were wearing a helmet and that the wagon was here to break your fall, or else you wouldn’t be in this state of good health.

Turvey:            (Pulls canvas flap open.  She smiles and laughs.)  Fly-boy is awake! 

Rinku:              (Sheepish.)  Hello.  (Pause.)  I would love to help you guys out, but I am a bit busy right now.  I need to get to Hyrule Castle as soon as possible.

Turvey:            Leaving so soon?

Tipsy:              We could really use you!  We were just about to pass over the mountain for an important show in the Republic of North Hyrule.

Rinku:              (Getting up and gathering his belongings.)  No, I need to be off now.  Perhaps later.  (Straps on backpack and hops out of the cart.)  Thank you, though.  I’ll repay the favor, honest.  (Runs off.)

Turvey:            I hope to see you soon.

Tipsy:              Have a good trip.

 

Narrator:          I felt so bad abandoning those who may have just saved my life, but if any of my dream came true like the rest of it, then I had to act fast before the destruction laid waste to the land.  This was the time that I needed all the courage, wisdom, and power that any mortal would dare put to use.

 

 

CHAPTER TEN

 

Narrator:          I had successfully completed the Triforce and before me lay the Castle of Hyrule.  My heart raced in fear.  The sun had set once again.  I had no knowledge of how long I was under the care of the Traveling Tipsy-Turvey Troupe, but I did know that one more day had passed.  It wasn’t long before I was at the gate of the mighty palace once again.

                        It seemed like much longer than a simple week’s passing since I had first entered these majestic stone walls which now glared down at me in spite.  The guard had noticed me from a distance and was ready to intercept me as I approached the raised drawbridge.

 

Guard 2:          What business do you have at the castle this late.  It’s closed until morning due to the war.

Rinku:              It is imperative that I speak with the Royalty.  It is about the Triforce.

Guard 2:          Is that so?  That must make you “Rinku.”

 

Narrator:          With one swift movement, the butt of his spear broad-sided me where my welt had formed from my “Death Mountain descent.”  As I lay on the ground stunned, bleeding, and a spear in my face, the guard yelled up to the battlements.

 

Guard 2:          Lower the bridge, you won’t believe who is here!  The third one just walked right up to me and introduced himself.  We can call the search off.

 

Narrator:          The bridge creaked open as guards swarmed around me, stripped me of my belongings, and dragged me deep into the castle.  I was flung into a cell.  It was dark, cold, and smelled of corpses.  Blood splatters decorated the walls and on a wooden table sat a skull.  This was the interrogation room and I knew that Piaba had been here recently.  In a puddle lay his severed ponytail, something he took pride in.

                        I was more terrified now than I had ever been before.  I was uncertain of my fate.  Finally, after a long, unnerving silence, two guards entered the room and ceased me, following them was Leon, Captain of the Guards.

 

Rinku:              (Crying, furious, confused, weak, helpless, violently emotional.)  What’s going on here?  What has happened to my friends?  What crime have I committed?

Leon:               (Calmly.)  Shh.  I will be asking the questions.  Just calm down and if you are truly innocent, then you have nothing to worry about.  Now tell me, Rinku is it?  Can you tell me what you are doing here in Hyrule?  What brought you here?

Rinku:              (Regaining composure, trying to restrain emotions.)  I came here as a soldier.

Leon:               A soldier?  For whom?

Rinku:              Nobody.  I came in with an unaffiliated unit looking to help.

Leon:               To help.  To help who?  Are you a mercenary?

Rinku:              Yes.  I came to—

Leon:               That will be enough.  Now, were you hired by either side?  By the Royalty or by the Knights of Hyrule?

Rinku:              Neither side wanted us.

Leon:               So why stay?  Why not go off to find someone who will pay for your band of murderers?

Rinku:              (Angry.)  I wanted to help.

Leon:               Sure.  Hyrule is full of people you’ve helped.

Rinku:              What is that supposed to mean?

Leon:               Tell me what you know of the Triforce.  Why do you have it?

Rinku:              I don’t.

Leon:               That’s not what your friends said.  They said that you had it.  They said that you were sent to find it.

Rinku:              I don’t have it.

Leon:               (Punches Rinku.) Liar.  Now tell me, who sent you to get it? 

Rinku:              . . .

Leon:               (Punches Rinku who grunts.  Waits.  Punches him again.)  This will get you nowhere.  Being in possession of a stolen item, is a very serious crime, little lone when that item is the Triforce!  Then it is high treason.  Now tell me, who sent you to get it?

Rinku:              . . . must save . . . Hyrule. . .

Leon:               (Growing frustrated.)  That’s MY job.  I’ve been looking for the Triforce for years and when sources report that you’ve been spotted being in possession of the Triforce of Courage and when your own “friends” say that you have all three fragments, that means that someone must have specifically told you where to find it.  You couldn’t have found it on your own.  Who sent you to find it?

Rinku:              . . .

Leon:               (Punches Rinku again.)  Who sent you?

(Door creeks open.)

Guard 1:          Captain, sir.  We have searched his bag and armor, he does not have the Triforce with him.

Leon:               Very well.  The cur must have passed it on to whoever sent him.  That will be all, thank you.

(Frustrated female voice in background.)

Guard 1:          And one other thing, sir.  (Grunts.)  Ow, the Prin—

Zelda:              (Frustrated.)  Let me in, I demand to see who is being interigated.  (Sees Rinku and gasps.)

Leon:               Zelda, darling.  What are you doing down here?  This isn’t the place for you.

Zelda:              Anyplace that concerns the welfare of Hyrule is a place for its Princess.  This is the one accused of stealing the Triforce?

Leon:               Yes.  His accomplices are in custody.  We apprehended them two days ago up in Death Mountain after we heard them setting off some explosions that nearly sent the whole mountain down on us.

Zelda:              (Hoeful.)  Does he have it?  The Triforce?  This could mean the end of all of our—

Leon:               No.

Zelda:              (Shocked.)  What?  (Turns to Rinku.)  What did you do with it?

Rinku:              . . .

Leon:               He won’t tell us where it is or who ordered him to get it in the first place.  Surely this foreigner wouldn’t have been able to orchestrate this by himself!

(This dialogue fades to the background as the Narrator speaks.)

 

Narrator:          I could do no good to Hyrule in jail, I needed to escape as to ensure that the guards wouldn’t discover my new hiding place for the Triforce.  Momentarily, they seemed more interested in the Princess meeting with Leon than in restraining me.  I could pretend to take hostage Zelda and explain to her what happened as I made my way out.

                        In a sudden lunging motion, I broke free of the guards whislt stealing one of their blades.  Unfortunately, this jerky motion sent me straight into Leon’s direction.  In a sudden twist of fate, I had taken Leon hostage instead.  As I pulled him back through the door, he became my shield between the other armed guard and myself.

                        Zelda was shocked and so was I, but with no time to rectify things, I had to work with what I had.

 

(Walking backwards down the hall.)

Leon:               (Angry; with sword tangent to his throat.)  Proof positive of your guilt.

Rinku:              (Scared.)  Shut up!

Leon:               You won’t make it out of here alive, you know.  You’ll perish.

Rinku:              (Scared, shouting.)  Shut up!!

 

Narrator:          For the time being, the two of us where alone as I lead him down the hallways.

 

(Walking very fast down the dungeon halls where the tortured prisoners can be heard, some cheer for Rinku while others ask for help.)

Rinku:              I don’t know how to say this, but something terrible is going to happen!  No one must get the Triforce.

Leon:               The Triforce is mine, you idiot.  I am its guardian, its protectorate!  I don’t know why you think you are doing us any good by robbing us and taking me hostage.

(Door is kicked open.)

Guard 3:          Over there!

Leon:               Use your crossbows and shoot him!

Guard 2:          But we’ll hit you, sir!

Leon:               Then shoot through me!  Just stop this maniac!

 

Narrator:          I couldn’t believe it!  After some hesitation, the guards raised their bows to take aim.  This hostage situation was going nowhere.  I broke free of him and darted down a corridor just as bolts were fired in my direction and struck the wall.

 

Guard 1:          Are you okay, sir?

Leon:               Leave me and go get that scum!

Guard 2:          Yes sir!

(They dart off.)

 

Narrator:          The dungeon of Hyrule Castle was constructed like a maze.  I often times entered new cells or torture chambers instead of the exit, many of which held a dark secret that nobody, not even the Princess, was meant to know.  However, I slowly worked my way back up to ground-level.  I had no time to gather back any of my belongings between the occasional confrontations with soldiers.

                        With the drawbridge up, I could see only one way out, and that was over the castle walls.  Climbing ivy that sprawled to the top of the outer wall, I looked down from the tall battlement to the open Hyrule Field before me.  Wasting no time, I leaped and soon found myself somewhere deep beneath the moat’s murky waters.  I swam to the water’s edge and darted into the dark night, wondering where to go.

 

(Running in the night, scary night sounds and the distant sound of a Royal search team and dogs hunting down Rinku.)

 

                        I don’t quite know why, but I was soon entering the Lost Woods.  I felt secure underneath the heavy blanket of leaves.  But I kept running as I heard the guard’s search team getting closer.  I lead myself through the dense growth wondering where I would turn up.

 

(Trips on a stone and falls to the leaf-covered ground.)

 

                        For whatever reason, I tripped on what felt like a piece of shattered stairs.  Looking at my surroundings for the first time, I was amazed at what I found.  It appeared to be what used to be a temple.  The forest canopy replaced a once mighty ceiling; the trunks of trees and thick shrubs was its new walls.  Moss grew on the fallen marble pillars and leaves concealed the elegant floor.

                        But what was really spectacular was what was in the middle of this timeless temple.  It was the vine-covered blade that was spoken of in my trip to Kakariko Village.

 

Rinku:              (In awe.)  The Master Sword.  I . . . I wonder if I can . . .

 

Narrator:          I walked up to the sword and broke away the vines and moss that covered it.  Placing two hands the handle I took a firm grip and pulled with all my might!

 

Rinku:              (Strugling.)  Argh!  (Strains.)  Uuuuh!

Guard 3:          (In the distance as hunting dogs bark.)  I think I saw him go this way.

Guard 1:          Picked up his scent over here with the hounds.

Rinku:              (Straining as he pulls.)  Come on!  I really need some help here . . .

Guard 2:          (Closer.) Where are we?  More importantly, where is HE?

Rinku:              (Frantic.)  Come on!  Come on!  Come on! 

Guard 2:          (Closer yet.)  I think I see him!

Rinku:              Please!

Guard 1:          Halt!  Put your arms in the air!

Rinku:              . . . (Sighs.  Raises arms.)

Guard 1:          Step away from the pedestal with the sword in it.

Rinku:              (Steps back.)

Guard 3:          We got him, sir.

Leon:               (Walking into the scene.)  Well, well, well.  Stealing the Triforce wasn’t enough for you.  You wanted the Master Sword too, eh?  Fortunately for us, you didn’t know that only the protector of the Triforce, the Legendary Hero can lift it.  (Laughs.)  Or are you still convinced that YOU are the Hero?  (Walks over to Rinku and the Master Sword.  Removes his gauntlet.)  Do you see this birthmark on the back of my hand?  Do you see it?

Rinku:              (Bitter.)  Yes.

Leon:               Do you know what it is?

Rinku:              (Bitter still.)  Yes.

Leon:               Then say you, what is it?

Rinku:              The Kingdom’s crest.

Leon:               Yes.  It means that I am the Hero of the ages.  I am here to save the Kingdom and the Triforce from thieves like you.  It also gives me the right to wield the Master Sword.  Not you.  You don’t have such a mark, do you.

Rinku:              (Feeling beaten.)  No.

Leon:               That means that you can’t pull out the sword.  Watch as I prove once and for all who the true Hero of Hyrule is.

 

Narrator:          Leon handed his spear to a guard and removed his other gauntlet.  He placed both hands on the sword, much like I had done moments before.  He took a deep breath . . . shifted his weight, ready to pull . . . and

 

(There is the sound of the sword being pulled out of the marble base and a sudden burst of wind which aggravates the trees and animals in the forest.)

 

Leon:               Behold, I wield the Master Sword, not this whelp who would steal it for himself.  (Long pause.)  Take him away.

 

Narrator:          The guards ceased, bound, and lead me from the Lost Woods with Leon taking up the rear with his spear in one hand and the Master Sword at his side.  And yet this was not my darkest hour, the storm had just started.  Before sunrise, I was once again in a cell deep under the palace.  Because I was a flight risk, the guards had not just stripped me of my clothing, but my dignity as well.

 

 

CHAPTER ELEVEN

 

(A small crowd of people, mostly royalty, talk until a gavel echoes throughout the chambers.)

Kaepora:         Hear ye, hear ye!  I am the Royal Judge Kaepora of Hyrule, descendant of the Sage of Light.  This trial between the Royalty and the three known as Rinku, Jonesi, and Piaba shall commence.  Would these three please stand.  (The three stand.)  How do the defendants plea to the prosecutor’s charge of treason?

Rinku:              Not guilty.

Jonesi:             Not guilty.

Piaba:              Not guilty.

Kaepora:         How do the defendants plea to the prosecutor’s charge of the theft of the Triforce?

Rinku:              (Takes a deep breath.)

Kaepora:         Well, let us hear it.

Rinku:              (Hesitant.)  Not guilty.

(The crowd murmurs angrily, but this sound does not disturb the proceedings.)

Kaepora:         What say you, Jonesi?

Jonesi:             (Mutters something that sounds like “guilty.”)

Kaepora:         Would the defendant please speak up?

Jonesi:             (Reluctant.)  Guilty.

Rinku:              What!?

Piaba:              (Choking.)  Guilty.

Rinku:              (Shocked.) ! ! !

(Crowd mutters in approval.)

Piaba:              (Whispering to Rinku.)  What are you doing pleading “not guilty?”

Kaepora:         You three may sit now.  (Rinku, Jonesi, and Piaba sit.)  One of you may present evidence to defend yourselves against the accusation of treason.  I will grant you a minute to converse seeing that this is the first time the guards have allowed you to be in the same room for the past month.

(The three whisper to themselves.)

Rinku:              What are you doing pleading guilty to theft?  What has happened to you guys since I was knocked off Death Mountain by the Dodongo?

Jonesi:             There isn’t time to talk about that.  Let me go discuss this case, I’m tricky like a fox.  I can get these guys to believe us.

Piaba:              We don’t need tricks to prove our innocence.  I can keep things simple which is something that a judge likes.  Trying to trick them would be something a guilty party would try to do.

Rinku:              I can face them.

Piaba:              How?  From what I heard, you tried to kill their Captain of the Guards and they had to keep you naked in a solitary confinement cell until the trial.  I will do it.  (Stands.)  Judge, ladies and gentlemen of the court, I will present our case since we three agree that we are not guilty of this crime.

Kaepora:         Very well, Piaba.  Do Rinku and Jonesi agree that you will be their voice?

Jonesi:             (Indignant.)  Whatever.

Rinku:              (Flat-toned.)  Yes.

Kaepora:         You may proceed Piaba.

Piaba:              As you may very well have noticed, the three of us are foreign to this land.  We know nothing of the customs, laws, terrain, or anything else.  We had heard nothing of this land up until we came here after it was reported that there was a war.  Coming to investigate, we found that neither of the sides wanted our help.  We would have left, but we were told by Rinku that someone from the Royalty had asked him to find a jewel called the Triforce.  Being told little else, we agreed to help and less than a week later we were arrested.

                        That is all the length of time that we were here.  Less than a week.  That is not enough time to learn the laws, customs, and certainly not enough time to plan any anti-government conspiracy.  We were merely trying to help the Royal who requested our help.  We were not fighting for the Knights, we were not fighting for the Royalty.  We were not fighting anyone.  We were simply asked to find something that was lost by some person named Zelda.  Because we are foreign, we had no way of knowing that simply possessing it was treason.

                        We mean no ill-will upon this country.  Had we known the laws, we would have not attempted to recover the lost item.

                        So when it comes to judging us remember that it was not our idea to find the Triforce.  It was not to our knowledge the consequences of doing so.  We were just trying to do good.

                        Thank you.  I have nothing further to say.  (Sits down.)

Rinku:              (Whispering.)  Sounded good.

Jonesi:             (Whispering back.)  Just wait.

Kaepora:         Now that the defense has had chance to give their side, let those that accuse them present their case.  Would the prosecutor please stand.  (He does.)  Councilor Lanrette, you may proceed.

Lanrette:          Ladies and gentlemen, let me ask you this: just because a child doesn’t know that stealing is wrong, does that make him any less guilty?

                        No.  Regardless of whether or not they knew the law, it is still a crime.  And it is law that being in possession of the Triforce is treason.  Case closed.

                        As for their defense that it wasn’t their idea, that it was a member of the Royalty who told them to do it, there is no proof.  Sure, they provided a name, “some person named Zelda,” but think about that.  Every firstborn female in the Royal household is named Zelda!  Would every woman named Zelda in this room please stand.

(Many people stand as they mutter to themselves.)

                        Behold, almost every female in this courtroom, even our Princess, is standing.  If this is the truth, we have over a hundred suspects to investigate.  Plus, this mystery person may have been using an alias.  Rinku, since you are the one who spoke to this “Zelda,” would you mind telling us which one of these lovely ladies asked you to find her precious lost jewel?  Is it the lady with the brown hair to your left?  Is it that beautiful brunette with the gold eyes?  What about her in the balcony with the green dress?  Is it Princess Zelda that you speak of?  (Pause.)  Well?

Rinku:              (Wondering whether to identify Zelda in front of the court.)  Uh . . . I ca—it is—well, I can not tell.

Lanrette:          You can not or will not?  Ladies, you may return to your seats.  (They sit.)

                        You, Rinku, were the one who provided the information to your companions on the locations of the missing Triforce pieces.  You knew where to look and according to your two friends Piaba and Jonesi it took you less than a week to find all three pieces.  Is that not correct?  (Pause.)  Jonesi and Piaba, is this correct?

Piaba:              (Reluctant.)  Yes.

Jonesi:             This is true.

Lanrette:          You knew that the Triforce was in three pieces and you knew that one was in the Lost Woods, one was in Lake Hylia, and that one was in Death Mountain.  May the Captain of the Guards stand?  (He does.)  Captain, how long have you been looking for the lost Triforce?

Leon:               Two years, councilor. 

Lanrette:          And Captain, did you have any knowledge, any information, even a hint or rumor that the Triforce had been separated into three different pieces?

Leon:               No, councilor.

Lanrette:          Captain, are you dedicated to this country?  Are you loyal?

Leon:               Yes, councilor.  I am the Legendary Hero; the protector of the Triforce; guardian of this land.

Lanrette:          We have here a patriotic, legendary, heroic, dedicated servant of the Triforce.  His heritage, his life-blood binds him to the Triforce and he can not find the Triforce.  It was also recently that he retrieved the Master Sword from the forest, as you all may have heard.  And only a man with the virtues of Faroe, Nyru, and Din can draw it.  Was Rinku able to draw the Master Sword, Captain?

Leon:               He tried, sir.  But no.  He did not draw the Master Sword, I did, councilor.

Lanrette:          Thank you, you may sit down.  (He sits.)  We have had a chance to gauge the character of our hero.  Now let us see how well Rinku’s holds up, shall we?  May the castle guard present at the time of Rinku’s first arrival please stand.  (He does.)  Would you tell me what Rinku, or his fellow accused companions, were doing? 

Guard 3:          They were a vile sort, making terrible jokes.  I called them a pack of dogs and they loved it.  They carried it on to insult the Royalty, and our lovely Princess.  That one...

Lanrette:          The guard is pointing at Rinku.

Guard 3:          Yes, Rinku was the first one to call our Princess Zelda a dog.  The other one...

Lanrette:          He is pointing at Jonesi.

Guard 3:          Jonesi called her a “true bitch.”

Lanrette:          And did you encounter the defendants any time after that?

Guard 3:          Yes, sir.  While in Kakariko village.  That one...

Lanrette:          He is pointing at Piaba.

Guard 3:          Piaba was defiling the fine village, home of the legendary Impa!  I tried to stop him, but he ran away

Lanrette:          Would any one else involved in the Kakariko village incident please stand.  (They do.)  Would you please tell us what happened?

Person 1:        They robbed me.

Person 2         They just barged into my house and began going through my stuff!

Lalana:            Rinku was asking all sorts of weird questions about the Triforce, the Legendary Hero, and the Master Sword.

Woman:          They entered my house while I was taking a bath.

Guard 2:          They put two kids’ safety at risk while we were pursuing them, sir.

Guard 1:          Carl ran right into them, sir.

Guard 2:          Because of those three, sir.

Lanrette:          Thank you.  You all may sit.  (They do.)  Anybody else who has a complaint against their character?

Clerk:               (Stands.)  I do.  I live by the lake.  Although he got my medicine for me, Rinku never returned my raft.  He stole it.(Sits.)

Injured Zora:    (Stands.)  This “Rinku” attacked me at the lake and then used the Triforce of Courage to get himself free!  After that, he went off in pursuit of the other two pieces.  (Sits.)

Lanrette:          Thank you everyone.  That will be more than enough.

                        Here is what we have so far.  A shady, untrustworthy mercenary offers to sell his sword to the highest bidder.  No one accepts.  About to leave, a mystery fiend tells him where to find the Triforce.  In less than a week, a week that he claims was spent helping people, but as we can see, he was clearly USING them, he is in possession of the Triforce.

                        But did he have the Triforce when he was captured in the forest while he was trying to steal the Master Sword?  No.  Surely, he must have sold it, gave it away, or is planning on using it for his own evil deeds.

                        Treason?  Yes.  Without a doubt, these three men are guilty of treason.  They are guilty of theft.  Theses crimes are punishable by death.

                        The prosecution rests, your honor.  (He sits down.)

Kaepora:         Thank you very much councilor Lanrette.  The court shall adjourn until the King’s hearing is gathered.  There, the King shall make his decision on your fates.  Then, the Sages’ hearing will be gathered where the descendants of the Seven Sages of the Light, Forest, Water, Fire, Spirit, and Shadow gather and pass judgement.

                        The guards may escort the defendants back to their cells as prisoners.  This court is adjourned until the time for judgement comes.  You are all dismissed.

(People stand up and begin talking.  Guards walk over and begin to hand-cuff the three.)

Jonesi:             Still confident in the talents of our advocate, Rinku?

Piaba:              I had no idea he was going to hammer you.  But since you pleaded not guilty to both crimes, I should have seen it coming.

Jonesi:             Well, you got your wish, buddy.  It doesn’t look as if you are going to be leaving Hyrule any time soon.

Rinku:              But we are innocent of accusations!  We didn’t steal anything.

Guard 2:          Jonesi, follow me.  (Leads Jonesi off in chains.)

Guard 3:          Piaba, time to return to your cell.  (Leads Piaba off in chains.)

Guard 1:          This way, “Mr. Not Guilty.”  (Jerks Rinku off in chains.)

(Fade out as they are lead out.  Rinku overhears the following before the scene totally is finished fading out to silence.)

Leon:               (Laughing.)  That is correct, your highness.  He honestly thought he was a hero.

King:                (Light-hearted.)  Well, you, my daughter, and I know otherwise.  There can’t be TWO heroes.  Isn’t that right?

Zelda:              (Distant.)  Of course, father.

 

 

CHAPTER TWELVE

 

(The dungeon has a draft, it is cold, and people are walking.  One person is wearing a ball and chain on their foot.  The gate to a cell opens, the prisoner shuffles in, and the gate closes.  The others walk away.)

Piaba:              (Distant.)  Rinku?  Is that you?

Rinku:              Yeah.  Piaba?  Where are you?

Piaba:              The cell across from you.  Jonesi should be to your side.

Jonesi:             Long time, no see.

Rinku:              Since the trial.  I am so nervous about that.  I wonder when the King’s hearing will be held.

Jonesi:             I’m not quite so nervous.  That pompous dick for a Captain was pissed the other day because the chances that Piaba and I would be going free were better than he would have liked.  Security was light the other day when he took a bunch of guards to look for evidence to keep us here. 

Piaba:              That was the day they forgot to feed us.  But I didn’t quite mind.  After that two week span when they didn’t feed us at all, it was nothing.

Jonesi:             Fortunately, I still have this.

Rinku:              What is it?

Jonesi:             Because I didn’t try to escape, I got to keep some of my stuff.  I have my fox tail and that egg I swiped from the nest in Death Mountain.  I figure that if they forget to feed us again, I have myself a back-up meal.

Piaba:              So, how was solitary?  It seems that they still don’t trust you, seeing that big iron ball strapped to your leg.

Rinku:              As with you, I’ve been starved, but I’ve also been kept in the a dark, wet cell to face the cold drafts nude.  This was to make sure that I wasn’t hiding a knife or anything, I suppose.  I’ve been stripped of my dignity, and it is just terrible being left alone with your thoughts!  And the dreams!

Piaba:              That’s it?

Rinku:              Just a dark, cold, wet room.  That’s about it.

Piaba:              That’s it!

Jonesi:             So, with all that thinking time, have you thought of anything to get us out?  Any plans to recover the Triforce?

Rinku:              What?

Jonesi:             (Whispering.)  Where’d you put it?

Rinku:              I don’t have it.

Piaba:              Obviously.  But since it looks like we might be getting out of here before you, we can make sure that it is safe.  After all, we did help you get it.

Jonesi:             You’ve made the Captain furious looking for it.  I am dying to know what trick you pulled to stash it so soon after your fall from the mountainside.

Rinku:              No!  That is nothing at all what I was thinking about in solitary.  I am surprised that you haven’t been thinking about it too, unless you don’t know!

Piaba:              (Concerned.)  Don’t know about what?

Rinku:              (As he begins to speak, a clamor in the distance can be heard.)  About the other quest we were on.  To find the other missing mercenaries.  While I was escaping, I happened upon cells and torture chambers that contained their corpses.  Piaba, I found Radia, dead, blatantly violated by—

Piaba:              (Crushed.)  What!?

Rinku:              And I saw Guybru, Marle, and Lucca.

Jonesi:             How could that be?  Those three were the party who went to meet with the Knights and never arrived.  They didn’t come near the castle.

Rinku:              I found Garee too.

(Commotion is heard outside the door.)

Piaba:              Shh, listen!

Guard 2:          (In the distance.)  What do you mean “separate them?”  Sir, it was you who told me to put them in the same block...

(Door outside slams open.)

Leon:               (Frustrated.)  Okay you’re all being separated.

(Three doors open as guards grab the three prisoners.  They are dragged off in separate directions as they shout at the same time.)

Piaba:              You murdered Radia?  How could you!  She was the best woman to ever live on this planet.  If I am ever to get free, I’ll gnaw on your bones for my next meal!  Lying, double-crossing . . . Rinku, they  wanted us to ask you about the Trif—

Jonesi:             What else are you not telling us?  Were you going to murder us too instead of letting us go free like you promised?  You can’t go back on your word!  And how dare you torture us and simply let Rinku sit in a cell, that’s unfair!  He’s the master-mind!  He’s t—

Rinku:              No!  Come back!  I don’t want to be alone again!  Piaba, Jonesi, they are up to something!  They murdered the first two parties we sent to the Knights and the Royalty.  They murdered Garee!  But they won’t murder us!  You hear me?  They won’t murder—

(The heavy metal doors slam shut.  Rinku is strapped to the wall with metal clasps as he struggles with his mouth bound.)

Leon:               (Trying to keep his cool.)  Now, Rinku, before I remove that gag from your mouth, I will tell you this once and I will expect your full cooperation.  You will not tell anyone else about what you saw in those cells.  That will be our little secret, do you understand?  Nod your head if you do.  (Pause as Rinku moves his head.)  Very good.

                        Again, I am only going to ask you this once, so pay attention.  How many corpses did you see, can you name them all, where you saw them last alive, and where you last saw them dead?  Nod if you understand.  (Rinku nods.)  Very good.  (Removes the gag.)

Rinku:              (Furious, but restraining it.  Trying to keep his cool as well.)  I saw five bodies: Guybru, Marle, Lucca, Radia, and Garee.  I last saw Guybru, Marle, and Lucca departing as part of the first party sent to meet with the Knights of Hyrule.  According to the Knights, they never arrived, and yet I found them in a nightmare room in this castle.  Radia was part of the first party sent to meet with the Royalty.  They too never returned and I found her violated in a room not too far from where I took you hostage.  Garee was with Piaba, Jonesi, and myself when we set off to find our missing friends.  We left him with a stomach ache someplace in the eastern region of this land.  When I saw him next, he didn’t have his hands or feet, and he was inside a birdcage close to the exit of the dungeon. 

Leon:               Would you care to lead me to these rooms?

Rinku:              (Spitting.)  You are sick.

Leon:               Would you rather lead me through these halls with another sword to my throat?  Humor me, would you?  This should be a welcome change from your time alone in your cell.  (Unbolts shackles and knocks on locked door.)  You may open the door, soldier, the prisoner and I are going for a little walk, isn’t that right?

Rinku:              (Sarcastic.)  But of course!

(Fade in the sound of Rinku’s ball and chain dragging and Leon leading him.)

Leon:               This is the door?

Rinku:              Yes, I am sure that this is the room that I found Garee in.

Leon:               Are you sure?

Rinku:              Yes! 

Leon:               (Opens the door and peers inside.)  Well, it appears that Garee, alive or dead, is not in here.  I don’t even see a birdcage.  Once again, you are mistaken.

Rinku:              (Reaches as far as the chains allow him in a fit of anger.)  What have you done to my friends?  I saw them here before, you must have disposed of their corpses since that night.  How foolish of me to think that you would keep two month old corpses in the dungeon.  You want to make room for more people to torture!

Leon:               Now listen to me, Rinku.  You did not see any corpses in these rooms.  As you can see, there aren’t any.  Because there aren’t any in here now, there weren’t any in here before.  So don’t tell anybody else about this, okay?

Rinku:              (Rolling his eyes.)  Okay.

Leon:               (Angry.)  Say it like you mean it.  “I did not find any corpses.  My friends were never captured by the guards.”

Rinku:              (Between his teeth.)  I did not find any corpses.  My friends were never captured by the guards.

Leon:               (Coldly.)  Keep saying that and you just might live.  (Pause.  Sighs and closes the door.)  I am going to take you back to the cell.

(Fade out as they walk away; fade in as they approach the cell and open it.)

Guard 2:          In you go, pal.  I hope you enjoyed your walk.  (Closes the door.)

Leon:               You may be dismissed.

Guard 2:          Thank you, sir.  (Walks off.)

Leon:               I’ll be back, but until then, what are you going to say if the subject ever comes up again by anyone other than myself?

Rinku:              (Tired, weak, and still angry.)  I did not find any corpses.  My friends were never captured by the guards.

Leon:               Very good.  (Walks away and closes the door to the cell block.)

Rinku:              (Indignant.)  Yeah, right.  I know what I saw.  I know the truth and you can’t keep it locked up in here with me.

(Long pause for a dungeon “soundscape.”)

 

Narrator:          I was all alone again with a deep hatred for Leon.  Who was he to tell me what I did or did not see that night two months ago when I tried to escape from the castle?  Based on what happened in that short hour spent with Jonesi and Piaba followed by the interrogation and tour of the dungeon, I had a lot to think about.

                        Piaba said that Leon wanted him and Jonesi to ask me where I had hidden the Triforce.  Jonesi, before he was dragged off, managed to tell me that he was being tortured on a regular basis and that a deal was struck between him and Leon to let him leave prison in exchange for what I would have told him in the jail cell.  And right when I was telling them about the hidden corpses, Leon gets scared and separates us.  I had little to no trust for that Hylian “hero.”  I thought to myself: had I slit his throat two months ago when I had the chance, I would have been doing Hyrule a favor by murdering a treasonous traitor.

                        If the Triforce was his life-blood, he should have easily recovered the Triforce in less than two years of searching.  Being in charge of the only soldiers still loyal to the crown, he could easily have picked off the mercenaries on their way to meet with the Knights and conceal it.  There was too much about him that I didn’t like, but I would ruminate about it later.  It was almost morning and I hadn’t slept at all in what felt like days.  Feeling around the pitch-black cell, I found a corner, cuddled up, and fell asleep.  A restless, dream-filled slumber followed.

 

 

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

 

Rinku:              (Whispering.)  I’m glad that you finally found me.  Any longer alone in this cell and I would have gone mad, that is if I haven’t already.

Tingle:             You told me to watch over your hiding place for the Triforce and when you never came back for it, I grew worried.  Plus, that spot was only supposed to be temporary, in a few more weeks with the seasons turning, every man, woman, and child will see it in plain view.

Rinku:              I’m shocked that they haven’t found it yet. 

Tingle:             (Giggles.)  Well, I’ve had a few tricks up my sleeve. 

Rinku:              I appreciate it, Tingle.  But what bothers me is what happened last night.  I see the guys for the first time in ages and it turns out that it was so that Leon could get information from me.  When I begin to tell of the murdered mercenaries, Leon interrogates me and tells me not to repeat it to anyone else, or else I would die.

Tingle:             How rotten.

Rinku:              But the strangest part was what happened after I fell asleep.  A new chapter of my dream unfolded before me.  As usual, I was in a strange land, most definitely Hyrule, and everyone was happy on the exterior but scared.  I saw this when I first arrived at the castle.  The next part of my dream had me leaving the festivities and meeting up with a lovely woman who gave me a favor of hers.  This came true when I tried to leave the castle and ran into Zelda who gave me her flute.

Tingle:             (Humph.)  I thought you were going to say it was me.

Rinku:              Then it began to rain and things began being destroyed, the rain tore everything to shreds whilst I stood alone.  I felt this as I recovered the Triforce but was captured and tried by the Royalty.  Last night, I saw more.  As the storm mutilated the land, a figure appeared to me and demanded that I bring him the Triforce—tonight!  I was instructed meet him in a cave in Death Mountain.  He told me that it was in his power to end the destruction of Hyrule if I did what he asked.  If I didn’t, he threatened the life of Zelda.

Tingle:             Wait a minute...just because of a dream, you aren’t considering breaking out of here again and bartering for Zelda’s life and the kingdom’s fate with the Triforce which isn’t even yours?  The people here are going to convict you of treason as it is, let alone if they find out what you are considering!

Rinku:              Well then, I suppose then that I have nothing to lose?

Tingle:             Desperation and bravery are not the same thing, Rinku.  Don’t confuse them.

 

Narrator:          The day passed slowly as I struggled to think of a way to escape before nightfall, when it was my deadline to be at the cave in the mountain.  Dusk had arrived as I sat tied to my iron ball in the cell.

(Door clicks and opens.)

                        The guard was late with my daily ration, as usual.  However, it was fortunate that he even came that day for he was my ticket out.

(Chains clink and the guard is hit, gagged, and falls to the floor.  A key clicks and clothing is heard being removed and put on.)

                        I quickly managed to subdue the guard and switch clothes with him.  Using his key, I unbound myself and placed the shackles on him.  And with his mouth gagged, it would take the other guards anywhere between a day and a month before they realized a swap had taken place.  With his helmet pulled over my face, I would blend right in with the other soldiers.

 

(Rinku is walking quickly through the stone halls of the dungeon.)

Tingle:             Are you crazy?  Not only have you just incriminated yourself, with this new attempt to escape, you are going the wrong way.  The exit is over there!

Rinku:              That man in my dream threatened Zelda’s life.  I must warn her. 

Tingle:             She is all you ever talk about.  What about me?  She’s a snoot, trust me.  But I’ll let you find out for yourself.  Good bye, Rinku.

Rinku:              (Stops walking.)  Tingle, wait!  (Pause.)  Tingle?  (Grumbles and continues with his brisk pace.)  I hope I didn’t make her too mad this time.

(Music change as he enters the main palace.)

 

Narrator:          I entered the palace for the first time since my trial.  The majestic gothic ceilings towered above me as the sun provided its last few minutes of life to shine through the stained glass windows onto the velvet carpets.  I had no idea where to find Zelda in this large castle, so I would have to do some searching.  But the trouble was trying to keep up the image that I was a guard with each Royal who passed me carrying their gas lamps to illuminate their way to who knows where.

                        I was soon in the residence towers and I made my way into what appeared to be Zelda’s quarters.

 

Rinku:              (Whispering.)  Princess?  (Waits for response.)  Hello?  Princess Zelda?

 

Narrator:          She was not there, so I continued my search.  At long last, I came across the courtroom, where I had been presented before the Sages and the King.  Entering through the balcony so that I would not disturb anyone who would happen to be in there, I scanned the area.  The court room doubled as a cathedral, dedicated to Hyrule’s three gods.  Underneath a grand stained glass window representing the three Triforce keepers, I heard two people talking—Leon and Zelda.  I strained to listen.)

 

(Distant and echoy.)

Leon:               My darling, I am going to be leaving for the evening for a secret mission and will be unable to join you.

Zelda:              But why?  We have been planning for this special night for weeks, and waiting for it even longer!  I will be missing your company, please do not leave.

Leon:               I cannot say why, but if all goes according to plan, I shall have recovered the Triforce by dawn.

Zelda:              (Disappointed.)  Very well.  But carry my thoughts with you.

Leon:               I shall.  And mine with you, for I would hate for any harm to be brought to you.  And before I leave, may I request from you a kiss?

Zelda:              Very well.

(Chamber door opens.)

Guard 1:          (Distant and echoy.)  Captain, sir, we have prepared for you your equipment but have not touched the special package just as you requested.  No one else knows about this, sir.

Leon:               (To guard.)  Very well.  (To Zelda.)  Perhaps another time, milady.  (Follows guard out and doors closes behind him.)

Zelda:              (Walks to altar.)  Naryu, Din, Faroe: goddesses of Hyrule.  Please protect my love from what dangers may come his way.  May your treasures be found.  I ask for your forgiveness for trusting to a mercenary such an important task.  Be with Leon and let Rinku suffer the punishment he deserves.

Rinku:              (Growls.  Walks away and slams the door to the balcony as he departs.)

Zelda:              (Gasps, realizing she was not alone when she said her prayer.)

 

(Sound of rummaging.)

Narrator:          I tore through the chests and boxes in the room outside the dungeon where the belongings of the prisoners were kept.  Was it even worth going to Death Mountain anymore?  Everyone in Hyrule wanted me dead, Leon had probably silenced Piaba and Jonesi with his Master Sword, Zelda despised me, and I had no use for a hunk of jewel that was worshiped by the peoples of this land.  If I went to grab the Triforce, it would surely be not to help any of these ungrateful snoots.

                        I was betrayed by all those I wished to help.  My friends had been murdered, two months of my life were stolen, my dignity was stripped

                        With my belongings in hand, I checked to make sure I had everything.

 

Rinku:              (Stuffs sack angrily as he softly reads off his mental checklist.)  I got my armor, helmet, shield, sword, backpack, boomerang, crossbow, bolts, bed, surcoat, dried food, thunder medallion, belt, rabbit’s tail, bandana, towel, knife, cup, underwear, and...well, I won’t be needing this.  Stupid flute.  (Slams the flute Zelda gave him on the hard table.)  Besides, I prefer string instruments to winds.

 

Narrator:          Leaving the one item behind, I snatched a cloak to hide my face and fastened it with a broach.  I then marched to the gate where I posed as a guard to the gatekeeper.

 

Guard 3:          What business do you have leaving the castle this late?

Rinku:              (Sounding official.)  The sun has just barely set, and I have been sent to assist the Captain.

Guard 3:          What are you talking about?  The Captain hasn’t left the castle.  I would have seen it.

Rinku:              (Rephrasing it so as to not sound suspicious.)  No, you misunderstand.  You see, he . . . has . . . instructed me to leave the palace for him.  Have you not heard?

Guard 3:          That is true, I have not heard.  What business is this?

Rinku:              Business that requires me to leave as soon as you lower that bridge.

Guard 3:          (Suspicious.)  Okay, but if you are trying to sneak out just to make it with one of the local girls, it will be not just your job in jeopardy, but mine too.

Rinku:              (With remorse and anger.)  Believe me, there is nobody in my life.

(The bridge slowly lowers.)

Guard 3:          Be off, now.

Rinku:              Oh, I shall.  (Walks across bridge and onto dirt path.  The bridge closes behind him as the night sounds fill the air.)

 

Narrator:          For whatever reason, that night I found myself hiking up Death Mountain.  From the looks of it, the avalanche debris had been partially cleared, making for an easier time climbing it than the previous expedition.  I may have been simply paranoid, but each time I took a moment to rest from the steep climb, I could have sworn I heard footsteps behind me.  I clutched the sack that had my offering to the stranger in my dream closer.  If I had someone following me, they wouldn’t take the Triforce from me without a fight.

                        The air was biting my face as the wind blew against me.  It seemed that ice crystals were forming just to wear me down.  If that wasn’t bad enough, I didn’t even know where I was going.  Tired, I found a sheltered place to rest.  But it seemed that I was not alone.

 

(Weak reptilian growl.)

Rinku:              (Semi-scared, mostly curious.)  What the...a baby dodongo?  (Feeling sorry.)  And you look so cold.  (The dodongo hisses.)I suppose you wouldn’t be here if your nest wasn’t smashed when I fought your parents for the Triforce of Power.  How on earth did you survive?  (Long pause.  The wind howls.  Rinku opens his bag and begins removing things.)  Well, while I prepare for this meeting, why don’t you chew on this.  (Tosses something on the ground.)  It’s jerky—salted, dried meat.  It’ll last forever, it seems.  (Straps on old armor and ties cloak, but the listener doesn’t necessarily know that this is what Rinku is doing.  He hums the song he played on the flute so long ago as he does so.  He says wearily.)  Well, I might as well rest for now, we can keep each other warm, eh?  (Dodongo hisses.)  Too bad.  (Sits down and holds the dodongo.)  Don’t bite me!

 

Narrator:          The moment I placed my head on the hard, red ground of Death Mountain, I was instantly asleep.  I awoke to the baby dodongo gnawing on my arm.

 

Rinku:              (Groggy.)  Hey, that’s my arm!  What did I say about biting?  (Pause.)  Wait, what time is it?

 

Narrator:          The moon had almost set.  It was the early morning hours and I had not yet met with the mystery person.  Fortunately, the sun had not yet risen, I still had time.  Leaving my towel as a blanket for the sickly dodongo for warmth, I darted off into the fierce icy wind.  Whether it was luck or fate that lead me up the mountain, I do not know; but within minutes I was standing beneath two twin peaks that the locals called Spectacle Rock, the summit of Death Mountain.  At the base of one peak was an opening, barely visible. 

                        Moments later, I had entered the dimly lit cavern. 

 

Iron Man:         Greetings, Rinku.  I was afraid that you would not make it.

Rinku:              I almost didn’t.

 

Narrator:          The man who stood before me was dressed in ornate armor, definitely in the style of the Hylian Royal Guard.  I had a pretty good feeling of who it was that stood before me, but with his helmet, I could not see his face.

 

Iron Man:         Tell me, was the climb to steep for a hero such as yourself?

Rinku:              With all the trouble you have caused me: framing me for theft and treason, murdering my fellow mercenaries, torturing my two companions, threatening the Princess, this country, making everyone loath my shameful existence, yeah.  I’d say that it was a difficult decision to come here.  I’d say that these people don’t even deserve my help.

Iron Man:         But you have come none the less.  I can feel the Triforce’s power.  You brought it to me.  Let me see it, remove your cloak and let me behold the Triforce!

Rinku:              (Hesitant.)  You know, this is treason.  Giving the Triforce to somebody else.

Iron Man:         Do you wish to not give it to me?

Rinku:              (Big sigh.)  . . . I, uh . . . (Reaches into cloak and removes bag.)  You will find the end to your quest for the Triforce right in this bag.  (Said with hate and irony.)

Iron Man:         Toss it to the ground.  Hurry.

Rinku:              (Throws bag onto the tiled cavern floor.)

 

Narrator:          I tossed the pouch onto the tiled floor of the cavern.  The armored man picked it up to investigate.  As he did so, I found the sword at his side to be very familiar.  I would dare say that it was the Master Sword.

 

Iron Man:         (Opens bag.  Stares in it.  Begins to laugh maniacally.)  Rinku, you fool...  (Laughs some more.  Pauses to reflect.)  What is this?  Triangular pieces of wood?  You bring me wedges of wood instead of the Triforce?

Rinku:              You didn’t really think that I would betray the safety of the Kingdom to you?  I promised to save this land from what evil plagues it, and that is what I am going to do.

 

Narrator:          Pulling back my cloak, I stood wearing my full armor, sword at my side, shield already on my arm.  In a rapid movement, I donned my helmet and drew my sword.  Just as I did so, a great wind swept the room and the cavern shook as green puffs of smoke oozed from the ground.  Out of this ethereal inferno stepped the most wicked creatures I had ever seen.  These devils were named by the locals: moblins, stalfos. Darknuts, wizrobes, goyrias, like-likes, bubbles, armos, dinolfs, octorocks, skulltulas, tektites, wallmasters, deku babas, freezzards, gibdos, ghoma spawn, keeses, redeads, zols, gels, and wolfos.  And there were still more coming.

                        The man in the armor tried to escape as the evil minions appeared before me, but I took a mighty swing of my sword and cut through his armor, piercing his chest.  But he was not all I had to worry about, as he limped away into the chaos, I found myself surrounded by an entire army of darkness.  I suspected an ambush such as this from the likes of evil.  But I had no time to think about it, I had to fight.

 

(This fight scene was inspired by The Black Lodge’s "Ocarina Boogie," in fact, instead of the narrator describing the fight, the song can replace everything and just play unadulterated as the sound effects feature: Rinku beating the evil army as the song is at the high points; Rinku being slaughtered by the countless enemies when the song is distorted; Rinku falling to the ground like a bloody rag at the song’s completion.

The soulless wind howls and screams as Rinku marinates in his own juices.  Snow begins to fall.)

Zelda:              (Running over to Rinku, frantic.)  Rinku!!

Rinku:              (Can’t move jaw, to speak, let alone anything else.  But he tries to speak anyway, his time is neigh.)  Why you here?  Monsters...kill you...

Zelda:              (Very sad.)  There aren’t any.  You somehow took them all out!  I don’t know how, but you did.

Rinku:              Took . . . me . . . out . . . too.  (Laughs as he vomits blood onto the Princess.)  I’ve ruined your dress.

Zelda:              (Pity filled.)  It looks a lot better than you.  (Weary.)  I can see your bones, they’re shattered!  (Removes his helmet and sets it on the ground.)  And your face!

Rinku:              (Incoherently, but still alive.)  But I . . . got him too.  Their leader...

Zelda:              (Speaking quicker, more frantic as she speaks.)  I saw.  I saw everything.  I suspected that you were the one in the balcony when you left.  So I followed you, not knowing how you escaped or what you were going to do with the Triforce.  I had no idea that you were still trying to help!  I—

Rinku:              (Life ebbing from him.)  Shh...be happy.  (Coughs.)  This . . . victory. 

Zelda:              How?  Your insides are hanging out, you’re not breathing, we’re alone in the mountain top, its beginning to snow. . .

Rinku:              (Very hard to hear, can’t speak well.)  I’ve marked . . . traitor with my blade.  (Pause.)  ...tired...

Zelda:              Rinku, don’t go to sleep.  (Waits for response.)  Rinku...  Can you hear me?  Rinku?  Rinku!  Wake up, Rinku. 

(The cold wind overpowers her pleas and cries while the scene eventually fades out.)

 

 

 

~ Finale           .

 

~ The Legend of Zelda ~

- Return to Hyrule -

 

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