The Talent Disaster

By Zelda_girl and Link_fan

(Zelda, Link, and all their new friends are in 8th grade & the school talent show is in a little while...oh no)
Link: YAY! The talent show!
Rick (new friend~Hylian): Uh...the talent show.
Link: What’ll we do?
Rick: SWORD FIGHTING!!! *they both jump around like little kids*
Link: To the crazy tryouts, AWAY!!!
(in the gym)
Link: So Star? What are you doing?
Star (new friend~magic horse): It’s a do you keep a blonde in suspense?
Link: How?
Star: I’ll tell you later...
Link: Just tell me!!!
Rick: He got you.
Link: *embarrassed* Oh...
(at the tryouts)
Fiddlesticks: (new “friend”~very disturbed Hylian) *like a cheerleader* F-I-D-D-L-E-S-T-I-C-K-S!
Talent scout: Next!
Maggie (new school bully~Gerudo) I will demonstrate the art of bullying...
Talent scout: Please, next!
Link: En Garde! (Link and Rick fight for ten seconds)
Talent scout: Next!
Sage (Zelda’s new friend~Zora) & Malon: We’re doing a song. *start singing “Stayin’ Alive*
Zelda: Who died?
Talent scout: Before we're all deaf, next!
Zelda: I’m doing magic... *sets off fire alarm by mistake*
Talent scout: NEXT!
(Star whispers something into the Talent scout’s ear)
Talent scout: Oh, that'll be good. Next!
(30 min’s later)
Talent scout: Dismissed!
(The next day)
Announcer: And for the talent show, everyone’s in!
(A chorus of “Yay!” mixed with “Shoot!”
Link: Prepare to be the middle school laughingstock.
Rick: We already are!
Link: Good point.
(Dress rehearsal 2 weeks later)
Link: Star??? Star did you get caught in the sale bin again?
Rick: You look like MC Hammer!
Star: I’m a rapper!
(Rick sees Zelda in a dress and whistles)
Zelda: *embarrassed* Don’t ever do that again!!!
Link: *suddenly* Back off!
Star: *tilts sunglasses* Ya can’t be serious!
Link: He’s not!
Star: Yo, back off! I only listen to the talker.
Link: Whatever. We’ re up!
(On stage, Link, Rick and JC [new friend~Hylian] demonstrate sword fighting)
Link: And finally... *sword slips and hits bystander* Oops...
Talent scout: Next act!
Sage and Malon: DISCO! *do song*
Link: Is it just me, or did we just get a taste of the 60's?
Star: It’s not you.
(Link’s band comes up)
Link: What song are we goin to do?
Girls: Zelda’s Lullaby!
Link: I thought we were going to do “Running to Catch Myself”!
JC: Me too!
(They start fighting)
Talent scout: ALRIGHT! ARE YOU 13 OR 3?!?
Rick: Uh...
Zelda: But we don’t have anyone to play the flute!
Talent scout: Maggie can’t do her act, so she’s your flute..est. K?
Zelda: Yes, ma'am.
Talent scout: Back to the practice!
(Later Maggie and Zelda are talking)
Zelda: Promise you won’t kill us.
Maggie: Promise??? All I want are a few friends!
Zelda: Well, then be nicer.
Maggie: K...that'll kill me!
Zelda: *sigh* No it won’t.
(Next week, Maggie has more friends, Sage is a good violinist. The dudes are having a “drumming dilemma”, and Link and Zelda haven't talked to each other for a while. This means trouble...)
Zelda: OMG! The Talent Show is tonight!
Maggie: Oh shoot!
Sage: YIKES!
Malon: This oughta be good!
(Over at the guy’s bathroom)
Link: Fiddlesticks, we're taping the drumsticks to your hands this time. We don’t want to hit Mr. Chavez again...
Rick: We get a Mexican-style weapon!
JC: Not again! I don’t want another wedgie!
Link: Oh, shut up!
(That night)
Fiddlesticks: Welcome to ze Talent Show! I’m yer MC and this is gonna be good... our 1st act...mwa! *grabs pom-poms* F-I-D-D-L-E-S-T-I-C...K-S!!! Go me!
Link: Oooooookay...
Fiddlesticks: Next, we have...uh (reads) Ma-ji-kay by...Zorro. Yay!
(Zelda does her act)
Fiddlesticks: And now... Sage and Malon doing “Stayin’ Alive”!
(Malon and Sage slip 10 times during the act. They end laughing)
*after a couple of acts*
Fiddlesticks: First, up in our battle of the bands, our only chick band, Maggie on the flute, Sage on the harp, Malon on the piano, and Zelda on the ocarina doing Zelda’s Lullaby! YAY!
(They perform almost flawlessly)
Darunia in crowd: *sniff* That warms my heart every time!
Darunia’s son: Dad! You’re embarrassing me!
Fiddlesticks: Next, we have...the teacher’s with classical music...
Crowd: Ugh...
(at end)
Fiddlesticks: NOW! My polka band!
Zelda: Eek!
(At end)
Fiddlesticks: And for Link’s band, JC on base, Rick on keyboard, Link on guitar and lead singer, and on the drums...ME! We're playing “Running to catch Myself”!
(They also do well)
Crowd: YAY! *clapping*
Ruto: *in crowd* AAAAAAAAAHHH! I love you Link!
Fiddlesticks: And now, ladies and germs, the act you’ve all been waiting for...Star the horse rapper!
Crowd: Woohooo!
Star: Yo, yo, yo! Wassup? Tonight we're doin my personal favorite, “Mystery Meat”! A one, two, a one, two, three, four! *starts rapping*
I stared school when I was a colt
They fed us stuff we said was revolt!
Shingles, mud, deep-fried wookies
It made us toss out our cookies!
That one thing we hated to eat
We learned it was called Mystery Meat!
So we had PB&J
Every Wednesday!
They saw that we didn’t like it
so they stopped serving it!
One thing I gotta tell you do not eat
never, ever, ever try your Mystery Meat! WHAT!
Crowd: *goes wild* WHOOOHOOO! YEAH! ROCK ON! Etc.
Star: Thank yall dudes and dudetts! Thank you and good night!
Fiddlesticks: And the winner is...ME!!! F-I-D-D-L-E-S-T-I-C...K-S!!! What’s that spell!
Crowd: Fiddlesticks?


The end...WHAT!


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