Emcee(Saria) - Hey guys! Our gorgeous judges, please welcome, all the way from the Twilight Realm, Princess Midna!

(Claps and cheers from Twili's)

Emcee - Also lets give a warm welcome to Princess Ruto, Miss Nabooru, Don't forget, our very own princess, Zelda!

(Claps, cheers, various plants are thrown)

Midna - Ok, people, lets get the show going!

Zelda - Bring out the guys!

(Link, Ganondorf, Talon, Skull Kid and Ingo come out)

Ruto - I know who im voting for!

Nabooru - The masked piece of wood?

Midna - Shut up you fat holes! Im trying to watch!

Emcee - Ok Ok! Your all hyped up so lets get to the Speedo Competition!

Link - Oh My Godesses.

Ganondorf - Whoopee! I am so hotter than you Link!

Link - You wanna take this outside, pretty boy?

(Ganondorf takes out small dagger and jabs away at Link)

Emcee - OK YOU DIRTBAGS LETS SETTLE DOWN!

Nabooru - Wow... a speedo competition?! Who thought of that?

Midna - (In a singy voice) Meeeeeee.

Nabooru - You go girl!

(Men come out in speedo's from blue to rainbow....)

Ruto - Aww man! No zora men?

Zelda - Nope.

Midna - AHHHH MY EYES! IM BLINDED BY THE FAT MAN IN A SPEEDO!

Link - (Sarcastically) Now i feel complete.

Ganondorf - I know! Isn't it great!

Talon & Ingo - Oh thank god Malon isn't here.

(Malon come in and sits down)

Malon - OH MY DAMN! I've got to get a camera!

Ingo - Too late.

Ruto - Ok girls.. who looks best in a speedo?

Nabooru - I'd have to say Ganondorf, he is pretty buff.

Zelda - Are you kidding? Its all fat! I think Link looks the best.

Ruto - Im kindof stuck in the middle...

Nabooru - GANNY!

Zelda - LINKY-POO!

Ruto - BOTH!

Midna - I dont quite see what you see in any of them!

Ruto - You are such a dumbo!

Midna - FISHBUTT

Zelda - Cut it out!

Nabooru - Make them!

(Squabble continues in a fit of stupidity)

Link - This is sooo embarrassing...

Ingo - Tell me about it.

Talon - NO MORE PICTURES MALON! IM SURE STARDAILY HAS HAD ENOUGH!

 
Link - But it is more fat than strength...
 
Ganondorf - @$#!&%^$**&%^$#@!&#^$$#&#^$&#&@*
 
The fight continues, and the two battles converge together causing a mass destruction and many injuries.
 
Midna breaks a leg and three fingers.
Zelda gets many cuts, bruises and fin slap marks.
Nabooru is not hurt at all considering that she and Ganondorf has ran off during the fight and left a small grenade.
Link is in his almost everyday abused outfits and a half- destroyed speedo.
Ingo and Talon were kidnapped by the paparazzi.
 
 
Now wasn’t that retarded?
 
 

The End

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