Author's Note: This is a short humour about something that never showed up in the game. Assuming that the Parliament in Hyrule is oblivious to what's been going on in Link's adventure, they come together to discuss the strange things that have been happening lately. Enjoy! :)
“Order! Order!” called Frees, banging
his gavel. “This meeting of the Hylian Parliament will come to order!” All of
the powdered wig-donned men took their seats.
“There has been
an epidemic!” he continued.
“An epidemic of
what?” asked Philip. “Is it that nasty fever again?”
“No sir,” said
Frees grimly. “This can only be described as the work of a delinquent!” The
members tittered angrily at this. Frees had to bang the gavel several more
times before it became quiet.
“First, about
seven years ago, a young lad came to Castle
Town. The first thing he
did was to enter someone’s room, completely destroy all of their pottery, and
steal their rupees!”
“Whose house was
it?” said Hale
“It was the
guard tower,” said Frees. “And that’s not all this young man did. He also
tampered with Kakariko Village windmill, broke into the Royal Family’s tomb, broke
into the castle, detonated bombs on Royal grounds, stole the Spiritual Stones
of Fire, Water and Forest, took the Master Sword from its pedestal, went inside
the Zora’s patron deity Jabu-Jabu, and terrorized innocent cuccos!”
“Wait, why does
this matter if it’s been seven years since these actions?” asked Baden.
“That’s not all!” said Frees’
second-in-command, Bartholomew. “Recently, there have been reports of him
stealing a horse, breaking out of a Gerudo prison, stealing a Longshot, a
Mirror Shield, the Megaton Hammer, a Fairy Bow, Silver Gauntlets, and other
various items from temples; shooting Gerudo warriors with arrows, and killing
two Gerudo women and their son!”
The entire
parliament exploded into rage, shouting out what they thought should be done
with such a criminal.
“We should lock
him up in a dungeon for the rest of his bloody life!”
“We should put
him in the guillotine!”
“We should send
a search party to lynch him!”
“We should have
the bastard quartered!”
Frees had to
bang the gavel many times before the members settled down again.
“We know how to
hunt him down! A reliable source tells me he currently resides in the Kokiri Forest.”
“But what are we
going to with him when we find him?” asked Philip.
“A young lady by
the name of Ruto says she’ll keep him captive until we decide on that…”