Summary: Link_fan and I thought that our favorite tv character, Cheeze from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends and our favorite video game character, Link, to get to know each other.  Enjoy!

Warning: Don't drink anything while you read this. You will be spraying it all over your computer. Enjoy!

*A peaceful night in Hyrule...or is it?*

*3:00 am*

 

Link: *snoring and talking in his sleep* Today isssss applesaaauuccccce day. Sea-monkey took my mmmmooooooneeeeey. *huge snore* Yes, this tunic is a naaatuuurrrral greeeeeen...

Cheeze: Lincoln....

Link: *like a girl* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

Cheeze: AHHHH!

Both: AAAAAAYEEEEEE!

Link: My wife is a mutated freak!

Zelda: *wakes up and slaps him really hard across the face* LINK!!!

Link: If you're there...and I'm here... *points to other side of bed* then who is that?

Cheeze: Hhhhi.

Link and Zelda: Ooookay....

*Cheeze walks off*

Link: Oh thank Din.

*Cheeze comes back with tons of make-up on*

Cheeze: Cheeze pretty. Pretty Cheeze!

Zelda: Link, do something!

Link: I don't even know where he came from!

*a short pause*

Zelda and Link: Ganondorf!

Cheeze: Who's dat?

Link: Grrrrr!

*Grabs Cheeze and gets on Epona and gallops to Ganon's castle. Remind you it's still 3 in the morning*

*A note stuck to door by a knife that says, "On official 'evil' business.  Be back in about 3 hours. And if you're reading this, Link, get lost!*

*Bang Bang Bang goes the door*

Link: Ganondork! I know you're in there! Let me in!

*a female gerudo answers door*

Gerudo: *yawn* Hello? Link!?

Link: I know he's in there! Let me atem!

Gerudo: WHY!?! It's 3 in the morning!

Cheeze: Pretty lady.

Gerudo: Ah! What is that?

Link: You tell me! I know Ganondork has something to do with this!

Gerudo: Probably just one of his experiments gotten loose. Go away.

Link: How could he be even smart enough to come up with this!? *points to Cheeze* I mean come on! Ganondork can't even zip up his own fly!

Gerudo: Good point.

Ganondorf: *stomps up, wearing a pink bathrobe with yellow horses all over it and a matching cap and a fluffy teddy bear* What are you doing here? Do you want to knock down my tenth castle?

Link: *looks down at boots* Well, actually it's the eleventh but...*looks up* What the... I didn't know you were... never mind! Who is this?!?

Ganondorf: *looks down* Dunno. Maybe he's your better looking twin brother.

Link: *sarcastically* Hahaha. At least I don't sleep with a bwabwa...or wear a pink horsy bathrobe.

Ganondorf: That's all they had in my size...and it was on sale.

Link: Oh I'm sure! What are you, 15 plus?

Ganondorf: You calling me fat?

Link: Maybe...

Ganonodorf: *puts hand on forehead* Look, I've never seen anything like that!

Link: Yeah! And Zelda is pregnant!

Ganondorf: Really?

Link: NO! I'm pregnant!

Ganondorf: Really?!?!

Link: No! Ruto is my wife.

Ganondorf: REALLY!?!?!
Link: NO!

Ganondorf: Wait... are you calling me a liar!?!

Link: I ain't calling you a truther!

Ganondorf: That's it!

*they get into a fight like 5 year olds, until Nabooru comes out*

Nabooru: What is going on out here?!?

Ganondorf: *grabbing onto Link's hair* Uhh..

Link: *has a hold of Ganondorf's shirt* Well...

Ganondorf: I was about to pull his hair out.

Link: And I was about to slug him in the chest.

Nabooru: What time is it?

Link: Oh I know! *pulls out his ocarina* I can find out what time it is without even looking at a sun dial! *starts playing a really high note*

*all the windows in Ganondorf's castle shatter and from far in the distance and boot comes flying and hit Ganondorf in the head*

Far off voice: SHUT UP! IT'S 3:3O IN THE MORNIN!!!!!

Link: There you happy?

Ganondorf: NO! *squeezing Link's neck*

Link: *pointing to windows* I hope those had a warranty.

Ganondorf: They didn't!

Link: Maybe I wouldn't have done it if you would have put me down!

*Ganondorf drops him*

*THUD!*

Link: GEEZ! If you're going to drop me from 6 feet up, give me a warning first!

Cheeze: I like the fair.

Link: I dunno where you came from...

Ganondorf: And I don't know where you're going...

Nabooru: And I have no idea what you are...

Other Gerudo: But please...

All: GO HOME!!!

Cheeze: *sucks in thru teeth* Okay.

(Five minutes pass)

Nabooru: He's still here...

Link: Well, I know one thing...

(Ganondorf and Link, at the same time)

Both: HE'S GOING WITH YOU! *point to each other* NO, YOU!! I'M NOT TAKING HIM!

Link: Let's settle this like men!

Nabooru: Oh, Din. Here we go...

(3...2...1...) 

Both: ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS...

Ganondorf: *loses* Shoot!

Link: HAHAHAHAH!

Ganondorf: Best two out of three...

Link: Okay.

Both: ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS...

Ganondorf *notices something* Hey, you've got the lens of truth! No fair!

Link: SHOOT!  

*Link eventually loses*

Link: Aww! Fart Ruto!

Ganondorf: What's a fart Ruto?

Link: Do you own a mirror?

Nabooru: This could turn into a wrestling match.

Link: Good idea!

*Link and Ganondorf start wrestling.*

Nabooru: Why do I even bother?

*Later at Hyrule castle*

 Cheeze: *looking at a painting* Ohh... *tries to touch it*

Link: NO!!

Cheeze: Ahh...*tries to touch another painting*

Link: NO!!! BAD CHEEZE!! *Grabs Cheeze's hand*

Cheeze: Da, da, da dum...*wedding march music...* 

Link: Yikes! *Lets go* great, now I've got to boil my hand...it's infected! What should I do with you? Like I always say, if someone is always happy, you have to make their life miserable...*hollering down hall* IMPA!

Impa: What? For pity's sake, it's early! Leave me alone!

Link: I think you're forgetting who I am...

Impa: A self-centered moron...

Link: I'm not self centered! I'm married! THAT PROVES TO EVERYONE I'M A MORON! Wait...anyway...I'm not just a moron...I'm...come on, say it...

Impa: *mutters* king.

Link: I can't hear you...

Impa: KING!

Link: Thank you...now, he's your problem! I suggest giving him cereal...

Impa: Why?

Cheeze: I like cereal...

Impa: Oh...I'm not sure about this...

Link: Hey, you were able to deal with Zelda. This should be a day at the beach!

*in the kitchen*

Impa: I think you know what you're looking for, so why don't you just get it?

Cheeze: WHERE IS THE CEREAL?!?!?!?!

Impa: In the cabinet...

Cheeze: *looking in cabinet* No it's not...

Impa: Well, I guess we're out.

Cheeze: But lady, you said! You said, lady!

Impa: Ugh! I'll look in the pantry.

*in pantry*

Impa: Right... upupupup... here! *pulls out a box of cereal* Here ya...

*Cheeze empties the box in 2 seconds*

Impa: ...go?

Cheeze: I like Chocolate milk.

Impa: Oh gracious.

*after walking all the way up to Lon-Lon ranch to milk the cow and then add chocolate to it, Impa finds out that Cheeze is lactose intolerant*

Cheeze: OWOWOWOWOW!!! Stomach hurt!

Impa: I should have left him at Lon-Lon...Ranch. That's it!

*Later that night*

Impa: This is your new home.

Cheeze: I like the fair!
Impa: Yes...yes! This is the fair!

Cheeze: YAY!

Impa: Bye. *runs away*

Cheeze: Ba ba black sheep... *makes shooting noises with his mouth* Sheep? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Malon: *waking up* Epona! Did you come down here and step on the cuccos again... hello? Can I help you?

Cheeze: You? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Malon: Stop screaming. Uh... *singing* Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree tops, when the wind blows the cradle will rock...

*Cheeze starts to calm down*

Malon: When the bow breaks, the cradle will fall...

Cheeze: Fall...AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ingo: *walking out with a candle and rubbing his eyes* Would you shut that...thing up!?!

Malon: You try!

Ingo: Oh fine! Patty cake patty cake...

Cheeze: *really high voice* Cake! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Malon: *covering her ears* He's going to wake father up!

Talon: *coming out* Too late.

Malon: Uh...Oh.

Talon: What is that?

Ingo: I dunno, but it won't shut up! Like Malon when she got chased by the cuccos for the first time.

Malon: I was five! Cut me some slack.

Cheeze: Slack? AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

Talon: Maybe we should stop talking?

Cheeze: Hi doggies! *petting a cucco*

Malon: Well that seemed to work.

Ingo: Whoa!

Malon: What?

Ingo: He's flat!

Malon: Oh yea, he is.

Talon: He's your pet, Malon.

Malon: Since when?

Talon and Ingo: NOT IT!!!!!!!

Malon: I hate when you do that! Oh fine I'll be the mature one. What's your name little fella?

Cheeze: Cheeze...

Malon: Oh...all righty then...Cheeze. You stay with the 'doggies' okay?

Cheeze: Okay...

 

*Next Day*

 

Talon: *about to leave for Hyrule castle* Don't let the cuccos peck Cheeze to death.

Malon: *mimicking* Don't let the cuccos peck Cheeze to death. He didn't say anything about mortally wound him... Oh, Cheeze!

Cheeze: Yes?

Malon: Why don't you go play with the cuccos. They love it when you step on them.

Cheeze: *sucks in through teeth* Okay!

*Uh,oh*

Cheeze: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

*the cuccos are carrying him across the ranch*

Cheeze: AHHH! Jiggily!

*Splash! The cuccos drop him into the water troth, but not before pecking him a whole bunch of times!*

Cheeze: Lady you said! You said they would like it!

Malon: Oh brother.

*Later*

Malon: Ah... so peaceful. *Starts singing Epona's song"

Cheeze: *starts running around and chanting*   YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! PUT THE PICKLE IN THE CAR, PUT THE RELISH IN THE JAR!!!!!!!

Malon: AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

*Malon goes up to a pole and starts banging her head against it*

Cheeze: *Bangs his head too* I lihike this gahahame!

*Epona trots up and kicks him all the way to Zora's domain*

Cheeze: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

*Splat*

*Link is in Zora's Domain, buying fish. And along come Cheeze*

Link: *Looks up to see the Cheezer flying into Ruto's room* Oh no.

*in Ruto's room*

Cheeze: I like the fair.

Ruto: Would you just shut up!

Link: *leaning in the door way* Now you know how we feel.

Ruto: UGH!

Cheeze: Hi kitty.

Ruto: What the Jub-Jub is a kitty?
Link: *sarcastically* How dare you take your "god's" name in vain.

Ruto: Shut up, you two timed, two eyed, son of a...

Cheeze: *while Ruto is throwing cuss words at Link* Beep bop boop! Beep boob bop, beep beep, bop booooop! Beep bop boop...

Ruto: And Zelda is a...

Cheeze: *really high* BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! *sticks tongue out and sighs* Paaaaaah!

*Ruto and Link look down at Cheeze*

Link and Ruto: CHEEZE, GO HOME!!!!!

Cheeze: *sucks through teeth* Okay! *walks off*

Link: I'm actually thankful Cheeze was here 'cause I didn't hear a word you just said!

Ruto: Than allow me to repeat myself. *takes a deep breath* YOU...

*in Goron City*

Link of the Gorons: Here's some candy! *hands Cheeze a rock*

Cheeze: I like candy. *sucks on rock for a few seconds* Candy broken. *tosses it behind his shoulder and it hits Link of the Gorons and knocks him out*

Darunia: What in the world is that?

Cheeze: I like chocolate milk.

Darunia: Okay.... *puts dirt into a cup and pours water into it making it look like chocolate milk* Here ya go.

Cheeze: *snatches cup from Darunia* I like chocolate milk. *slurps a huge mouthful and then sprays it into Darunia's face* CHOCOLATE MILK BROKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Cheeze unleashes an ear piercing screech*

Darunia: *covering ears* Shhhhhhh. *sings* Rock a bye Goron on the mountain. When it explodes...

Cheeze: ExpLODES! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

Darunia: Ahoy! Link! Get down here and help me.

Link: He's following me I tell you!

Darunia: Then you know what to do?

Link: Hehe *nervous laugh* DUH! Why would I not know?

Darunia: Well it's not an octorock.

Link: *sighs* Cheeze! *whistles*

Cheeze: LICOLN!!!! *runs and jumps on him*

Darunia: What did he just call you?

Link: My full name...

Darunia: *starts smirking* Full name? Lincoln? WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

*a boom of laughter can be heard all the way to the castle. And it is so strong, it blows Cheeze away.

Cheeze: I like Chocolate... *voice trails off*

Link: *sticking his feet out* I've got iron boots!

Darunia: *still laughing*

Link: Darunia!!!!!! *throws a Deku nut at him*

Darunia: *feels the pop on his butt* YOW!!!!!!!!!!

Link: Don't blow the whole mountain away!

Darunia: What ever.

*in Kokori forest*

Cheeze: ...MILK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*splat*

Mido: It's the apocalypse!  Flat objects falling from the sky and yelling "milk"!!!!!!

Know-it-all brother 1: It's a sign!!

Twin 1: Quick! Go get Link's cow!!!

Cheeze: *finally landing on top of Mido* Cow? AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Saria: What is going on out here?

Mido: You tell me!

Saria: I thought your cousin was coming next week.

Mido: I may have been raised by a tree, but I'm not that stupid...or gullible.

K-i-a brother 2: What do we do with him?

Twin 2: Feed him to the Morblins in the lost forest?

Saria: No, let's save that for Mido.

Mido: HEY!

K-i-a brother 3: Stuff him into that soft patch of dirt behind my house? Maybe when the magic plant grows it'll take that thing with it.

Link: *coming to see Saria* Hey Saria, do you have any..... Oh no...

Mido: You know this thing?

Link: Unfortunately yes.

All but Link: *give one smirk and then* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Link: May I remind you that I'm the one who saved your never growing butts from Gohma?

All but L.: *everybody looks down* No...

Link: Good. Now, He's your problem! *leaves*

Mido:  I have feeling we aren't the first ones this thing visited.

Saria: Why's that?

Mido: 'Cause he has a hoof mark on his head, has rocks wedged in his teeth has a bit of makeup on, and he smells like fish.

Twin 2: To the top of the Deku tree!

*on top of the Deku tree*

Mido: Catapult ready?

K-i-a brother: Yup.

Mido: Bad omen ready?

Twin 1: The bad, yellow omen is secured.

Mido: Where do we aim this fella?

Twin 2: *rubbing her hands together mischievously* Gerudo Fortress.

Mido: On five. One, two...Five!!!!!!!!!

*they release the catapult (I think this was the first commercial air flight) and Cheeze flies all the way to Gerudo Fortress. Da da da dum!*

*Gerudo Fortress*

Cheeze: Hi lady hi! *flying over a Gerudo thief* Bye lady bye!

Gerudo thief: Get him!

*Cheeze lands and they immediately throw him into the Gerudo Fortress tower...and guess who's there too*

Link: What did I do to deserve this Farore? What did I do?

Cheeze: Hhhhi! Blah blah blah dancing around! Blah blah blah...

Link: *throws a Deku nut at him and stuns him* Don't do that! *takes out his fairy bow and ties Cheeze to an arrow* FORE!!!!!

*Link releases the arrow and Cheeze along with it*

Cheeze: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *Hits ground* YEEESSSS!! DO IT AGAIN, DO IT AGAIN, DO IT...

Nabooru: (In Desert Colossus) You again? (Mutters) Wow, the goddesses must be mad today!

Cheeze: GODDESSES? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Nabooru: WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP?

Cheeze: SHUT UP? AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

Nabooru: Why you little....

Cheeze: Why you little....

Nabooru: Huh?

Cheeze: Huh?

Nabooru: Stop copying me!

Cheeze: Stop copying me!

Nabooru: THAT IS IT!

Cheeze: THAT IS IT!!!

*Takes him to top of temple and tries to throw him AFAP...as far as possible, that is...*

Nabooru: LET GO!

Cheeze: AHHH! AHH! AHHH! AHH! AHHH!

(Screams every time Nabooru tries to yank him off)

Nabooru: *Finally gets rid of him* And don't come back!

*in the Goddess' dwelling*

Nayru: What a lovely day isn't it?

Din: I'm just glad I'm not one of those losers that that thing keeps ending up to.

Farore: Losers? Din! I'm surprised at you.

Nayru: *going all hippie* Yeah. Like the world is a delicate blossom, just about to bloom. It has not yet fully reached its peak in its primitive state.

Din: What are they, cave men?

Farore: I think Nayru is trying to say that they haven't invented electricity or any type of mechanical devices.

Cheeze: *walking into the room reading Din's diary out loud* Ahem! Dear Diary, I really wish the Mother goddess hadn't named me Dinial. I'm not like destined to be a true goddess or anything, am I? Oh well.

*Cheeze closes the diary. Din is as red as Death Mountain's crater and Farore an Nayru are jaw dropped and speechless for a moment*

Farore: *covering her mouth* Hehehe...

Nayru: *trying not to laugh* Hmm hmm hmm.

*3...2...1...*

Farore and Nayru: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Din: What's so funny?

Farore: You didn't know you were a goddess?

Nayru: Hehe. You have a diary?

Both: Your name is Dinial?

*they both burst out laughing again as Din stomps over to Cheeze*

Din: FALL!

Farore and Nayru: *stop laughing* NO!

Cheeze: Fall... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Farore: DIN!

Nayru: What was that for?

Din: It's for you!

Farore: Din! Why did you do that? Now he'll never shut up! Nayru, do something!

Nayru: Why me?

Farore: You're the goddess of wisdom! Think of something!

Nayru: You're the goddess of courage! Dive in and shut him up!

Farore: Din is the goddess of power. She should force him to shut up!

Din: Oh fine.

*Din waves her hand and a zipper appears over Cheeze's mouth*

All: Whew! *fall back on couches*

Farore: Dinial???

Nayru: Why the mother goddess named you that I will never know.

Din: I'll take out the trash. *kicks Cheeze through some clouds*

Cheeze: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*at Ganondorf's castle doors*

*splat*

Ganondorf: *answering the door* I told you, we're not buying any more tooth paste!!! *looks down at Cheeze* Oh no...

*Cheeze's zipper unzips*

Cheeze: No...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ganondorf: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

 

The end

Cheeze: End... AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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