The Fairy Hectic Meeting

By Caz and Malteser


List of fairies:

 

LIRO-Know it all 1

PIRO-Know it all 2

KIRO-Know it all 3

HYDLI-Saria

NAVI-Link

AMERI-Mido

FEMMI-Twin 1

HETTI-Twin 2

IYRA- Balcony girl

JAPINA-Shop owner



 

NAVI :  Hey listen, now we all know why we are here....

HYDLI(dreamily)  Do we?

NAVI: Yes Hydli, remember I told you before we came here....obviously not. We are here today to discuss Links Birthday....

JAPINA: Really, I was told it was the annual meeting for the preservation of undersized goblins.

AMERI: OK; a) Goblins don’t exist and b) They’re horrible, who wants to preserve them!!

KIRO: Really, but you seem to love Mido....

NAVI: LINK IS NOT A GOBLIN, AND COULD WE PLEASE GET BACK TO THE SUB....

HYDLI:I wish I was a fairy...

(everyone inches away from her)

IYRA: Why should we hold him a Birthday celebration, no one ever did it to me.

 

Starts to cry

 

AMERI: (scowling) Oh shut up Iyra , maybe we could get Ganondorf to come out of a huge cake or something.....?

NAVI: Hello, earth to Ameri, Link has only just finished stopping Ganondorf from taking over the world. I mean forgive and forget, but not that quickly!

AMERI: You’ve totally missed the point....

FEMMI: Couldn’t we just go round to his house and say Merry Birthday.

HETTI: No no, it’s Happy Christmas!

NAVI: You’re both as dumb as each other. Honestly, it would be easier working with Skulltulas.

IYRA: That’s not very nice.....

 

Starts to cry again

 

HYDLI(chewing on wing) Mmmmm, tastes like chicken....

AMERI: Maybe Zelda could be a stripper!!

EVERYONE EXCEPT AMERI: Ssshhh, there are children listening...

AMERI: Who?

(everyone points at Hydli)

AMERI: Apart from her...

(everyone points at kokiri children outside)

AMERI: OK then....lousy jerks......

IYRA: Or a clown.......I hate clowns...

 

Starts to cry again

Argument breaks out

 

HYDli: We could ring him up on an ellyphone....

LIRO: One Hydli...

HYDLI: Who’s Hydli?

LIRO: We don’t have a telephone..

HYDLI: Ellyphone.

LIRO: Two, Link doesn’t have a telephone..

HYDLI: Ellyphone!!

LIRO: Three, We don’t know where to get a telephone....

HYDLI: ELLYPHONE!!!

LIRO: And four, we cant be bothered to get a telephone....

HYDLI: EEEEELLLLLYYYYYPPPPPHHHHOOOOONNNEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

( attacks Liro)

KIRO: I think we should get him a calculator or something..

NAVI: Hey listen, hey listen, hey listen

AMERI: That’s a rubbish idea, what about a....

FEMMI: Maybe a lovely dish of butter...

HETTI: Or a recycling bin..

PIRO: Can you at least pretend you’re only a little crazy?!

FEMMI: Or we could say happy birthday

NAVI: Hey listen, hey listen, hey listen....

AMERI: YOU’RE ALL AS BAD AS EACH OTHER, I AM THE ONLY ONE WITH ANY BRAINS AROUND HERE!!!!!

NAVI: HEY LISTEN, ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT UP !!!!!

FEMMI: You’re a fine one to talk....

(Navi jumps on Femmi)

HYDLI: TAKE THAT YOU ROTTEN BANANA!!!!!!!!!

LIRO: Ow get off you b*****!! I SAID GET OFF!!!!!!!!

AMERI: THIS IS A RUBBISH MEETING ANYWAY!!!!!!

(everyone begins to squabble)

(Link comes in)

 

LINK: Hey guys, what ‘cha doin?

HYDLI: We’re planning for your birthday!

LINK: Um...guys, my birthday was six months ago...

NAVI: WHY DIDN’T YOU BLOODY TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IYRA: I’m really sorry Navi...

(starts to cry)

AMERI: He’s your Kokiri.

HYDLI: Where’s my shoe gone?

(Fight breaks out again)

 



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