List of
fairies:
LIRO-Know it all
1
PIRO-Know it all
2
KIRO-Know it all
3
HYDLI-Saria
NAVI-Link
AMERI-Mido
FEMMI-Twin
1
HETTI-Twin
2
IYRA- Balcony
girl
JAPINA-Shop
owner
NAVI : Hey listen, now we all know why we are
here....
HYDLI(dreamily) Do we?
NAVI: Yes Hydli, remember I
told you before we came here....obviously not. We are here today to discuss
Links Birthday....
JAPINA: Really, I was told
it was the annual meeting for the preservation of undersized
goblins.
AMERI: OK; a) Goblins don’t
exist and b) They’re horrible, who wants to preserve
them!!
KIRO: Really, but you seem
to love Mido....
NAVI: LINK IS NOT A GOBLIN,
AND COULD WE PLEASE GET BACK TO THE SUB....
HYDLI:I wish I was a
fairy...
(everyone inches away from
her)
IYRA: Why should we hold
him a Birthday celebration, no one ever did it to me.
Starts to
cry
AMERI: (scowling) Oh shut up Iyra , maybe we
could get Ganondorf to come out of a huge cake or
something.....?
NAVI: Hello, earth to
Ameri, Link has only just finished stopping Ganondorf from taking over the
world. I mean forgive and forget, but not that
quickly!
AMERI: You’ve totally
missed the point....
FEMMI: Couldn’t we just go
round to his house and say Merry Birthday.
HETTI: No no, it’s Happy
Christmas!
NAVI: You’re both as dumb
as each other. Honestly, it would be easier working with
Skulltulas.
IYRA: That’s not very
nice.....
Starts to cry
again
HYDLI(chewing on wing) Mmmmm, tastes like
chicken....
AMERI: Maybe Zelda could be
a stripper!!
EVERYONE EXCEPT AMERI:
Ssshhh, there are children listening...
AMERI:
Who?
(everyone points at
Hydli)
AMERI: Apart from
her...
(everyone points at kokiri
children outside)
AMERI: OK then....lousy
jerks......
IYRA: Or a clown.......I
hate clowns...
Starts to cry
again
Argument breaks
out
HYDli: We could ring him up
on an ellyphone....
LIRO: One
Hydli...
HYDLI: Who’s
Hydli?
LIRO: We don’t have a
telephone..
HYDLI:
Ellyphone.
LIRO: Two, Link doesn’t
have a telephone..
HYDLI:
Ellyphone!!
LIRO: Three, We don’t know
where to get a telephone....
HYDLI:
ELLYPHONE!!!
LIRO: And four, we cant be
bothered to get a telephone....
HYDLI:
EEEEELLLLLYYYYYPPPPPHHHHOOOOONNNEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( attacks
Liro)
KIRO: I think we should get
him a calculator or something..
NAVI: Hey listen, hey
listen, hey listen
AMERI: That’s a rubbish
idea, what about a....
FEMMI: Maybe a lovely dish
of butter...
HETTI: Or a recycling
bin..
PIRO: Can you at least
pretend you’re only a little crazy?!
FEMMI: Or we could say
happy birthday
NAVI: Hey listen, hey
listen, hey listen....
AMERI: YOU’RE ALL AS BAD AS
EACH OTHER, I AM THE ONLY ONE WITH ANY BRAINS AROUND
HERE!!!!!
NAVI: HEY LISTEN, ALL OF
YOU JUST SHUT UP !!!!!
FEMMI: You’re a fine one to
talk....
(Navi jumps on
Femmi)
HYDLI: TAKE THAT YOU ROTTEN
BANANA!!!!!!!!!
LIRO: Ow get off you
b*****!! I SAID GET OFF!!!!!!!!
AMERI: THIS IS A RUBBISH
MEETING ANYWAY!!!!!!
(everyone begins to
squabble)
(Link comes
in)
LINK: Hey guys, what ‘cha
doin?
HYDLI: We’re planning for
your birthday!
LINK: Um...guys, my
birthday was six months ago...
NAVI: WHY DIDN’T YOU BLOODY
TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IYRA: I’m really sorry
Navi...
(starts to
cry)
AMERI: He’s your
Kokiri.
HYDLI: Where’s my shoe
gone?
(Fight breaks out
again)