*All the six sages are sitting in the sacred realm, unaware that Link has taken some time off his travel to save the world to find all of the 'hot' great fairies, forcing Navi in one of his bottles so she couldn't nag him about getting back to the job. Right now they are praying to the gods but some are getting restless…*
It is silent and all are praying. Except for one. Ruto opened one eye and stared at Darunia, wondering if he ever shaved in his life.
Rauru: (still praying) Do not open your eyes in the middle of prayer Princess Ruto.
Ruto: (blushing) Sorry…(sits up on her pedestal) how did you know my eyes were open when YOURS were closed?!?
Rauru: (Struggling to find words) Well…I’m the sage of light! That’s much more important than water!!!
Ruto: (Gasps) That’s sooo not true!!! Light is just…light! Water is lovely, smooth sleek! Not bright and burning!!!
Saria And I thought we were praying,,,
Ruto: Shaddup forest…leafy…thing! Go play with your FAIRY!
Impa: HEY!!! Do you want your butt kicked missy?
Nabooru: Good luck considering how slippy it would be!!! (laughs)
Ruto: (Furious) WHY YOU-(leaps at her and knocks Nabooru off her pedestal)
Nabooru: (out of breath) What are you gonna do? Slap me with your flippers? HA HA HA!!!
Darunia lifts them up, pulls them apart and plonks them back on their pedestals. They do not look happy.
Nabooru: YOU’VE MESSED UP MY HAIR!!! YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS FISH FACE!!!
Ruto: You’re welcome Tiny Tushi!
They both glare at each other.
Darunia: (shakes head) You girls…
Saria SHUT UP ROCK HEAD!(covers her mouth, shocked)
Everyone stares at Saria, I mean, she’s a sweet ten year old who’s suddenly going around telling people to shut up and calling them rock heads!
Impa: Must be puberty.
Murmers of agreement.
All turn back to Darunia so he can carry on his speech.
Darunia: Actually that was it! I thought an unfinished sentence and a shake of the head would give them some discipline!>
Silence.
Rauru: Anyway! Whats everyone been up to lately?
They all stare at him impatiently.
Rauru: Oh yeah
Saria I wish Link would hurry up already. I miss my sitting around all day in the lost woods playing my ocarina which somehow the tune I play fills the whole of the wood.
Ruto:I miss sitting around laughing at children who drown while trying to get into the Zora’s domain.
Nabooru: Yeh I liked sitting around drawing fat builders to my beuty that all look the same to our valley and then imprisoning them! What do you like to do Rauru?
Rauru: Well since you haven’t actually seen me apart from in the realm I guess I…don’t know…
Impa: (Stares at him for a few minutes with the others) Ok! Well I like wearing my very revealing clothes in front of little boys and throwing deku nuts in their faces and running away after pointing them to my home kakariko village which you never see me in!
They all stare at Darunia, waiting for his description of how he wastes his time.
Darunia: I…sit around eating rocks saving my tribe from weird dragons with too big contact lenses!
Rauru: Actually, where IS Link?>And why are there only two male sages? And if buzz light year doesn’t know he’s a toy, why doesn’t he speak when humans are around??? And-
Ruto: One, we don’t know where he is-
Nabooru: Two, because girls are better than boys!
Darunia: Three, WHAT KIND OF QUESTION>IS THAT???
Saria Actually he has a good point on that question!
Impa: Besides, Link is under a lot of pressure saving the world and all that. He needs love, support.
Darunia: I guess you're right.
Nabooru: Yup.
Rauru: Of course!
Ruto: Right on sister!
Saria As a 10 year old who has no idea what your are saying to me- I guess I’ll just agree with you all…
Impa: So lots and lots of care, love and support-
Link suddenly appears from a rush of light-
Link :Hey all!!!
All: WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!!!
THE END
WRITER'S NOTE: Navi actually died from suffocating in the bottle Link stuck her in but he paid a new fairy to shriek ‘HEY LISTEN!!!’ every few minutes so no one was suspicious.
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