The Amazing Race:
Nintendo Universe

By Stephen Stephano


 

Race Leg #10 – Mute City

 

“This is the Hocotate Space Distribution Center, the largest logistics warehouse in the Nintendo Universe.  Built in 2003, this modern factory operation transports hundreds of thousands of pounds of goods daily to places all over the Nintendo universe.  This warehouse is now the start of the 10th leg, in a race around the world.” 

 

“Ike and Lyn won the last leg, so they will depart first, at 10:33pm.”

 

Ike: **tears open the clue.  Take a passenger ship from the Distribution Center to Mute City!

Lyn: Mute City?  Never heard of it.  What’s it like?

Ike: Loud…very loud.

 

“Teams must now make their way to the docking bay, where they will take one of five merchant ships to Mute City.  Once there, they must travel by taxi to Mute City F-Zero Racetrack, where they will find their next clue.”

 

Ike: We need a ride to Mute City please.

Falcon: **tears open the clue.  Take a passenger ship to Mute City!!

Summer: Alright, we’re going home for this leg!  Look out other teams, here we come!

Falcon: We’re going to put some people into the rail this leg…and one’s going to have their Fire Stingray explode!

Summer: I don’t think Goroh would approve of such language…

Falcon: Meh, who cares?  It’s not anything I haven’t done before.

Zelda: **tears open the clue.  Take a passenger ship to Mute City.

Link:  Another futuristic world. 

Zelda: Yes, was really hoping we’d be going to Hyrule today.

Link: Well excuuuuuuse them Princess! **points to show producers standing in the corner.

 

One by one the teams make their way to the docking bay and depart for Mute City.  The trip through space takes about five hours.  Ike and Lyn are the first to arrive at the spaceport.

 

Lyn: Taxi!

Ike: We’re in a race, fast fast fast!

 

Falcon and Summer are right on their heels, and pass Ike and Lyn when their taxi goes off course in the pre-dawn darkness.  Near the finish line grandstands, the two spot a sign with the race colors on it. 

 

Falcon: Your clue arrives with the rising sun…

Summer: Aw man, I thought we were going to get a running start. 

Falcon: No big deal.  We’re just revving up the car before we blow em all by.

 

Eventually all the teams arrive at the racetrack, finding out that they are all going to be on level ground again when the sun rises.  Several hours later, the sun does rise, and one of the track managers opens the gate.  The teams quickly pour in, and quickly spot the clue box, which is sitting right near the finish line on the infield. 

 

Summer: Roadblock!  Who’s going to crash?  Oh definitely you!

Falcon: Compete in an F-Zero grand prix!

Link: Warning, the winner will proceed directly to the pit stop…

Louie: …And those eliminated before the final lap will have to yield for 30 minutes.

Falcon: Haha!  See you at the Pit Stop suckers!

Fox: Not if I have anything to say about it you won’t!

Falcon: Your driving skills only apply to the skies…you’re nothing on land Foxface!

Fox: Oh shut your trap…your racers are held to the track by a standard G-Diffuser system just like that inside an Arwing.  They’re practically the same!

 

The five chosen racers, Falcon, Fox, Link, Louie, and Lyn pile into F-Zero racers, all the same with the exception of their color schemes.  The colors represent the teams, Dark Blue for Falcon, Orange for Fox, Green for Link, Silver for Louie, and Light Blue for Lyn.  The racers get a quick crash course in driving before the racing begins. 

 

Instructor: The gas is on your left, the brake to the right.  The hyperdrive is utilized in the central console, but only use it when you have a straightaway! 

Falcon: Oh come on, they can use them where they want!

Instructor: That may be true but it is certainly inadvisable, especially for novices.  Anyway, there are jumps on the track, signified by horizontal lines across the track.  These will cause you to go airborne!

Lyn: That’s wild.  Especially because these machines are heavy!

 

Instructor: Indeed, these machines are all over a short ton.  Now, there are also magnets on the track, signified by pink panels on the track.  These will slow you down if you drive over them due to the magnetic down force applied on your racer.  You will want to avoid these at any cost.  Also, try not to run into the rail, it will cause your racer to lose power and speed.  You’ll need as much speed as you can muster. 

 

Link: How much speed is that? 

Instructor: Somewhere in the neighborhood of 343 meters per second.

Link: My Farore!  That could cross Hyrule in less than an hour!

 

The cars line up to the starting line and the green flag drops.  All five cars sprint down the main straightaway in front of the grandstand and into the first turn.  Falcon cuts off the pack while Link sinks back from the pack, the congestion at high speed unnerving him despite his usual courageous demeanor.  Falcon goes through several curves and expertly maneuvers around the course as he has done for years.  Before long everybody in the pack is dropped.  He picks up his two-way radio connection. 

 

Falcon: Jody, we’re just a couple of laps from the pit stop honey. 

Summer: Just don’t get overconfident, you’ve got a hot one on your six!

 

Falcon looks to the rear view to see Louie. 

 

Falcon: Yeah, looks like helmethead wants to be part of the fun.  Here, watch this!

 

Falcon misses a jump intentionally and gets himself caught on a magnet for a brief moment.  This allows Louie to jump into the lead.  Falcon eventually reels him in on the third lap and waits for the right moment.  He rams into Louie’s racer near his right rear wheel, causing his racer to spin around backward.  He stays idle on the track and cannot move as he is caught against the rail.  Lyn does not recognize this until it is too late, and her racer collides with Louie’s front right, causing her to go out of control and into the rail as well. 

 

Falcon: Didn’t I tell you I was great? 

Louie: That dirty rat!  I was doing great and then he put me into the wall! 

Olimar: He’s going to pay for that! 

 

Link pushes hard to catch up.  Suddenly he sees two cars spun out on the rails on either side of the track.  He hears Zelda on his two-way radio.

 

Zelda: Oh no, Louie and Lyn crashed!  I hope they’re not hurt!

Link: Zelda don’t worry about it, it’s too dangerous for me to stop right now. 

Zelda: I understand that, but be careful out there!  You’ve got third place all but assured now, just don’t do anything dumb.

 

Falcon continues to cruise along the track, sure of victory.  On the final lap he grins as he passes through the curves when suddenly his radio blares. 

 

Krystal: Bogie up ahead!  Take em down Fox!

Falcon: What?

Summer: Racer on your six, approaching quickly!

 

Fox drives like a madman, hoping to gain enough ground to pass Falcon before the end.  He activates the hyperdrive on the one remaining straightaway.  He draws nearly even with Falcon and pushes even harder.  Suddenly a turn approaches on the right.  Fox is on the outside. 

 

Falcon: Hah!  You’ll never make that turn without slowing down!

Fox: Watch me.

 

Fox looks as though he is going to go into the rail for sure, when turns directly toward Falcon’s racer and throws on the hyperdrive again.  With expert control of the G-Diffuser, he barrel rolls over the hood of Falcon’s racer, landing to his inside.  Fox takes this inside path on the turn to the lead, and beats Falcon down the straightaway to the finish line, taking the checkered flag. 

 

Fox: Hey Krystal do you like apples?

Krystal: Uh…yeah sure Fox, why do you ask? 

Fox: How do you like them apples?!  Haha! 

Falcon: I…can’t…believe that just happened.  How did he do that?!  Not even Goroh knows how to do that!  Arrrgh!!

Fox: Looks like driving in three dimensions is better than two!

Krystal: **reads the clue.  Proceed to your next Pit Stop, Blue Falcon Square!

 

“When all tasks are completed, the teams must travel by racer taxi to the aquatic city of Big Blue.  This oceanic area was the site of an old-era F-Zero track built in 1991.  At the time, there was nothing but water underneath the track, but in 2003, a modern city emerged from beneath the waves, complete with skyscapers, businesses, homes, and amenities of all sorts.  A new F-Zero track was created to commemorate the occasion.  At the downtown of Big Blue is Blue Falcon Square.” 

 

“This large open air park is littered with monuments depicting  the country’s vast history of organized crime, bounty hunting, and need for speed.  It is now the Pit Stop for this leg of the race.  The last team to check in here…may be eliminated.”

 

Fox: Victory, here we come!

Falcon: I still can hardly believe it…I mean I haven’t lost here in years!

Summer: Falcon, I get that you are put off, you’re shell-shocked, and you’re upset, but you need to focus now.  We’re still in this race.  We’re in second place, which is good enough to get us through.  We’re an hour ahead of those two teams that crashed. 

Falcon: Okay…I’ll do what you say.

Summer: Deep breaths.  **opens the clue.  Proceed to F-Zero Federation Congress Building!

 

“Teams must now make their way by taxi across Mute City to the F-Zero Federation Congressional Building.  This building, constructed in 1991, is the head of the racing federation that governs the F-Zero Grand Prix.  Once here, teams must proceed to the chamber, where they will find their next clue.” 

 

Summer: Alright let’s go. 

 

Back across the track, the two combatants that crashed are reeling, and they get help from an unlikely source. 

 

Zelda: Lyn, you need to hold still, this magic only works if your muscles relax a little bit.

Lyn: It hurts! 

 

Zelda moves her hand over Louie’s injured leg and shoulder blade and concentrates.  A pinkish light comes out of her white gauntlets and within a few seconds you can see the wound and bruises lightening in color. 

 

Zelda: I can’t do much for the impact area, it’ll probably be swollen and sore, but at least you won’t have any fractures or threat of infection.  Louie, let me see you too. 

Louie: You can’t really see me well…I am wearing a spacesuit.

Zelda: True, well I’ll have to feel around for the pain then.  Does this hurt?  **grabs Louie’s ribs, to which he twitches rather violently.

Olimar: Oh come on Louie, these suits protect from just about any impact, you can’t be in that bad of shape!

Zelda: I probably just found a pressure point or a nerve, tis all.  There, you should be feeling much better in a little bit.  Make sure you both rest when you hit the pit stop.

Louie: Falcon isn’t going to get away with that.  I’m going to show him and get revenge!

Link: That’s the spirit.  We’ll help you if we can. 

Ike: I cannot thank you enough, but why did you stay back to help us?  We’re in a race you know, and now we have to try to beat you.

Zelda: It’s not about winning that’s important.  It’s about maintaining dignity and respect.  Isn’t that right Link?  Link…Link?!

 

Zelda turns around to see Link running off with the clue.  Zelda gets the hint and runs off.

 

Falcon and Summer arrive at the congressional building and quickly locate the clue box, which sits right in front of the speaker’s podium.

 

Summer: Detour, riddle or fiddle? 

 

“This detour takes the teams through two unique racing-based challenges.  Their choice, they can riddle, or fiddle.”

 

“In riddle, the teams must figure out the finish positions of four F-Zero Grand Prix racers in a recent race, using only the verbal clues given to them by the racers.  Once the teams have placed the racers in the proper finish positions, they will be handed their next clue.” 

 

“In fiddle, using over two hundred parts, the teams must construct a scale model of one of the most famous F-Zero racers, the Fire Stingray.  Once all the pieces are in place and the model car is complete to Samurai Goroh’s satisfaction, the teams will be handed their next clue.”

 

Summer: What should we do? 

Falcon: Eh, I don’t like having Goroh judge me on anything, but I’ve seen his car a million times and I don’t like riddles.  Let’s do fiddle.

 

Once in the chamber, Falcon furiously starts picking out parts.

 

Falcon: So this is where the spoiler connects to the wheel, and the carburetor is down here, and once you get the tailpipe in the right spot, locating your way to the main exhaust piece is really easy, it is across the undercarriage from the suspension.

Summer: I am amazed at how much you know about this.  Well, I’m not really, but it almost seems like an obsession.

Falcon: There’s an old saying that every aspiring bounty hunter should adhere to.  Keep your friends close, and your enemies even closer. 

 

Summer nods her head.  Falcon continues to work feverishly as Goroh looks on.

 

Link and Zelda arrive at the Congress chambers about twenty minutes behind Falcon and Summer.  They have a small lead on the other teams, but they are still in danger.

 

Zelda: Detour, riddle or fiddle? 

Link: I’m not good with riddles but with your wisdom you might be able to figure it. 

Zelda: I agree, let’s do that one. 

 

Zelda and Link enter a room where four F-Zero racers, John Tanaka, Lily Flyer, Michael Chain, and Dr. Stewart are sitting in chairs.  Zelda and Link sit down across the table from them.  The proctor explains that the race in question was a triathlon, a challenge of swimming, cycling, and running in that order.  One by one, the people reveal their information.

 

Tanaka: I came in third for swimming.

Flyer: I outrode Chain on my bike, and Chain was never able to catch me.

Chain: I fell into 4th during the cycling leg, but I eventually finished that in the same place where I finished in the swimming leg.

Stewart: I finished the same in the swimming and the cycling legs, but 2 others beat me in the running leg.

 

Link and Zelda ponder this information. 

 

Zelda: What do you think Link?

Link: I think they didn’t give us enough information.  How are we to figure this out? 

Zelda: Well, it’s a line of thinking called deductive reasoning, or the use of rules, formulas, or raw data to draw a conclusion.  Here, let me show you…

 

Up ahead at Big Blue, the sun shines over the ocean metropolis as Fox and Krystal arrive far ahead of the other teams.  They reach the dock at Blue Falcon Plaza and quickly locate the mat where Phil is standing beside F-Zero racers Dai Goroh, Draq, and Pico. 

 

Pico: Welcome to Big Blue!

Fox & Krystal: Thank you, thank you.

 

“Fox and Krystal.  Once again you are team #1!” 

 

Fox and Krystal hug, then hold each other tightly and kiss.

 

“As the winners of this leg of the race you have each won the all-new 2013 Blue Falcon F-Zero racer!” 

 

Several cars came driving right into the plaza.

 

Krystal: It’s blue just like my fur color.  I’ll look good cruising in the blues of Corneria.

Fox: This one is extra special because we beat Falcon and Summer at their own game.

 

“That’s the second time now for you two…what’s your secret?”

 

Fox: Don’t know, but you’re right, we beat out the Kongs in the fifth leg with a fast forward. 

Krystal: I guess you can say fast vehicles are in our blood.

 

In the room opposite the puzzle room, Falcon puts the finishing touches on the model Fire Stingray.

 

Goroh: Is not good…try again. 

Falcon: Okay Goroh, you’re just pulling my leg.  Gimme the friggin clue.

Goroh: I must be fair, you’re missing something…look again.

 

Falcon looks back at the Stingray.  It’s a perfect replica.  The parts are all in the right place.  Falcon looks back toward Goroh and gives him a death stare.

 

Summer: Wait!  There is something missing!  Take a look at the front seat.  The insignia of the Goroh family is missing.  There is no piece present for this.

Goroh: So it seems that you have figured out the mystery. 

 

Goroh reaches into his pocket and opens the glass covering the seat, placing a sticker on the seat.  He then produces the clue. 

 

Falcon: You’re a piece of work, you know that? 

Goroh: I’ll never forget how to get a rise out of you.  Good luck comrade.

Summer: Drive to the next Pit Stop, Blue Falcon Plaza!

 

Back across the chambers, Zelda and Link work on solving the riddle. 

 

Link: So Tanaka was third in swimming.  But the running is the last leg and the finish, so that doesn’t help.

Zelda: I agree Link, Tanaka’s information isn’t all that helpful.  But Flyer’s information is.

Link: Yeah she was ahead of Chain, right?

Zelda: She passed Chain during the bike leg, and Chain never passed her.  That means that Flyer definitely finished ahead of Chain.

Link: What about Chain? 

Zelda: Chain was 4th during the cycling leg, but didn’t finish in 4th.  He finished the same place that he did during swimming.  That means he was either 2nd or 3rd. 

Link: Why not first? 

Zelda: Because Flyer finished ahead of him right?  That means that Flyer was either 1st or 2nd.  Now the last bit of information, from Stewart, he said he was in the same place in swimming and cycling, but two others beat him during the run.  That by default means he was either 3rd or 4th. 

Link: So based on all this, that means Flyer finished ahead of Chain, and Chain ahead of Stewart.  But where did Tanaka finish?  Was he in front of everybody or behind? 

Zelda: It’s hard to tell based on what limited information he gave us.  But he was 3rd after swimming.  It’s more likely that he was 4th than 1st.

Link: Should we go with it? 

Zelda: It’s a gut feeling, but I feel pretty strongly. 

Link: Okay!  First is Flyer, second is Chain, third is Stewart, and fourth is Tanaka. 

Lily Flyer: Is this your final answer? 

 

Link and Zelda nod.  Lily ponders this response for a moment, then produces the clue.  Link and Zelda give out an exultant shout as they take the clue.

 

Up ahead at Blue Falcon Plaza, Falcon and Summer come to the mat. 

 

“Falcon and Summer, you are team #2.” 

 

Falcon: Yeah it’s disappointing, we should have won this one and its my fault.

 

“Your fault?  Why do you say?”

 

Falcon: Because after all these years of F-Zero racing I should’ve discovered that our racers had the ability to barrel roll.  Stupid, stupid, stupid!

 

Right behind them Link and Zelda roll in. 

 

“Link and Zelda, congratulations you are team #3.” 

 

Link and Zelda hug one another and Zelda gives him a peck on the cheek. 

 

The day wears on without any real sight of the remaining teams.  The afternoon sun beats down on Phil and the F-Zero racers.  Finally a fourth team emerges from the docks.  They sprint over to the mat, unsure of their fate. 

 

Pico: Welcome to Big Blue!

 

“Ike and Lyn…you are still alive in this race you are team #4.” 

 

Lyn lets out a scream as Ike picks her up and holds her high in the air.  The sword wielders from Tellius had feared the worst. 

 

About an hour later, the final team, Olimar and Louie, emerges in the late afternoon sun. 

 

“Olimar and Louie…I am sorry to say that you are the last team to arrive.”

 

Olimar: Don’t tell me, don’t tell me!

 

“And you have been eliminated from the race.” 

 

Olimar drops to his knees and starts crying, letting out a pained shout on the ground. 

 

Olimar: First the plumbers kill the Pikmin, now Falcon runs my teammate off the road intentionally, and now we can’t put a car together or solve a riddle and we’re out!  Arrgh!

 

“This was a bad few days then.”

 

Louie: Yeah this was a pretty bad day, a painful one too.  I only wish we would’ve had our chance to get revenge.  The racers, they’re scum, they don’t deserve to win. 

Olimar: Let’s get out of this forsaken place and back to Hocotate.  I’m telling HFP to cut off the supply of auto parts to Mute City ASAP.  **turns to the drivers behind Phil.  You’re all scum!

 

Results for Leg #10:

1.Fox & Krystal

2.Falcon & Summer

3.Link & Zelda

4.Ike & Lyn

5.Olimar & Louie (eliminated)

 

 



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